Saturday, January 30, 2010

The Next American Idol

SIMON: So why are you here?

CONTESTANT: I'm the next American Idol

VIEWERS AT HOME: Are you KIDDING ME?


American Idol is a study in Self-esteem. Nowadays, people seem uncomfortable with failure and providing critical feedback (unless they are American Idol judges). I remember distinctly growing up in a household that was fairly critical and competitive, during a time when it was alright to lose. My dad NEVER let me win a game of Candyland, Checkers, Chess, etc. When I played football and baseball the only time you received a trophy was when you won the championship. Growing up in that environment probably made me the competitive person I am today, as well as being very appreciative of times of victory. My daughters' rooms are filled with trophies and ribbons for "Participating" in soccer. My ten-year-old's soccer team did win the league championship two years in a row, and she received a trophy for that; however, she received an additional trophy that the rest of the league also received.


Why participation trophies? Some say, it makes everyone feel good, and like "a winner." I think it is coddling the children and having them lose out on the lesson of sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. There is a lot to be learned from losing. It does not have to feel like failure. It could and should be more like not succeeding. Thomas Edison was quoted as saying, when he was trying to prevent the incandescent lightbuld, "I have not failed, I have just found a thousand ways that don't work." He believed that the experience itself offered lessons that you could draw on in later experiments or experiences.


Back to American Idol


Like the proverbial train wreck, we watch, week in and week out, the regional tryouts to see who will be the next American Idol. There are some people I know who only watch the regional tryouts, then tune in come the last couple weeks. They like the "freak show" aspect and the final competition. Each year my wife and I watch religiously and laugh, shake our heads, and sometimes even cry with the rest of America as we watch people "follow their dreams." Our girls watch it the next day on DVR, because it airs too late, but they also love watching.


Far be it from me, especially considering the charmed life I lead, to comment on the dreams and goals of others; however, why do people come in and say "Everyone at work tells me I am a great singer." Is it their need to have 15 minutes of fame, even if it is to be ridiculed? Is negative attention better than no attention at all? People show up with their families supporting them. Are they asking Simon to do their job by telling their loved one - on national TV - that they are dreadful? Or are people being cruel and setting their "friends" up for failure (One would hope people wouldn't be that cruel)


It all right to not be great at everything. When we would play hockey at Lurker Park as kids, I would always volunteer to play goalie. I wasn't goalie because I wanted to wear the gear (although that was cool), or I wanted people slapping hard pieces of rubber at my privates. I played goalie because I was and continue to be a pretty poor skater. It was all right that I wasn't going to score a goal. Sometimes there would be someone who was a great goalie or a worse skater, and I would play defense. So what. I still had fun with my friends and enjoyed the camaraderie of playing in the game. There are things I do excel at, skating just is not one of them.


The same goes for our children. It is all right to have them participate in an activity and be mediocre. They will eventually find something they are passionate about and excel at.


"But Randy, the people who are going on American Idol are passionate about music and singing." I hear ya. However, because they are passionate about something does not necessarily mean that they are any good. Telling them they are will not necessarily be the best thing for their self-esteem. Sometimes it is easier to tell someone a private piece of truth, instead of stringing them along and having their false sense of ability.


This is Simon's last year on the show (so he says). So he won't be there to deliver unpleasant news =)

Telling the truth in a caring and tactful way may be what is best for your friends and loved ones; however, it may ruin America's favorite show. So what? A healthy, honest sense of self is more important than positive Neilsen Ratings any day.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Fanaticism and Life.


Why did I wake up today in such a "funk?" Probably the same reason I was in a funk when I was brushing my teeth before bed last night. Football. No, I did not play (I haven't put on a helmet in over 22 years, and I hardly ever won back then). My favorite NFL team, which I have been following for over 35 years, just lost the NFC Championship. They lost a GAME, as I sat there in my horns, purple retro-80's- Zubas pants, Vikings boxers, and Vikings jersey - in New Jersey! They just finished playing A GAME, and I was sad.

I didn't lose any money (I don't gamble), nobody near or dear to me died or was hurt, I still had a beautiful wife and two wonderful children, and for a 42 year old, I'm pretty healthy. America is still Free, and I still have a place to go try to make a living. So why does this phenomenon of fandom have such an impact?

As a Vikings fan, I seem to go through this each and every year. I start training camp in the summer all excited and announce that "This is my year!" The season progresses, and on a Monday morning prior to Super Bowl Sunday, I end up going to work or school sad. Today it is raining to add to the melancholy.

Now, I know it is just a game, and that the Vikings or Yankees don't even know I exist, and that they look at it as more than a game, it is their job. That being said, why do we as fans get so emotionally involved?

Before you go on and make a rash assumption, this is NOT a guy thing. The Vikings played my wife's beloved 49ers this year and beat them in the last second of the game, and she had the same funk working for her for a couple days, so this is not gender-specific. (On a side note, how lucky am I, as a football fan, that my bride goes into a funk when her team loses? Too bad she's not a Vikings fan, or she would REALLY be perfect! LOL)

We all go out an buy our licensed apparel, throw pillows, and some really crazy people even get tattoos of their favorite team. We scream at the television, we wait on hold for 45 minutes to get a point across on our favorite sports radio program, we listen to sports-specific satellite radio stations dedicated to our favorite sport, and we start and end our days watching SportsCenter. As I write this, I look in my reflection in my Yankees clock and again ask, "Why"

The world will not be cured of hunger, disease, homelessness, unemployment, and crime if the Yankees win the series or the Vikings win the Super Bowl. I will not be richer (financially) nor will my family be better off. I ask again, "Why all the hype?"

Maybe its our need to be part of something bigger than us in a way that is actually viewable. Something that we can experience and witness firsthand. People tell me they attend church to be part of something bigger than they are, to be part of a community, but there are no licensed apparel for Team Jesus. Following Jesus' career is like following Muhammad Ali's boxing career - he will not be fighting on HBO this weekend, we know he won the "Thrilla in Manila" just like Jesus rose on the third day (depending on your creed - not trying to get religious here, just making a parallel) and Jesus will not be defending his title against Satan again in the spring. The Yankees, however, will have another opening day, another shot at the playoffs, and another shot at being the World Series Champion (for the 28th time).

Maybe it is not unlike those who enter into these fantasy worlds of second-life, Dungeons and Dragons, video games, etc., and use sports as a "fantastic" (Fantasy-based) release from reality. Maybe its the crazy camaraderie we experience connecting us with other people. When you go to a game live, you are high-fiving everyone in your section. For that 3 hours, you are part of a group. . . .you BELONG.

It could be that sense of needing to belong, or living vicariously through the trials of athletes doing what many of us dreamed of when we played wiffle ball in the back yard, or touch football on the street, that attracts us. Whatever it is, it touches us in places that are unique to any other experience in our lives. Being a fan connects us to the world in an unusual and very safe.

So for a fleeting moment when our team wins we have a rush of what it feels like to be a winner - the thrill of victory, or when they lose, the agony of defeat. However, unlike those athletes who have dedicated their lives to their sport, and have been able to rise to the heights of having fans, we will quickly come back to reality and live our lives without any lasting affects of our victory or our defeat. Back to our lives anonymity.

Maybe, just maybe, we will be inspired by the efforts of these men and women we cheer for, to excel in our own lives to be world-class teachers, parents, writers, doctors, (or whatever we do). Hopefully their efforts and passion will inspire us to become champions in our own lives. Whether its the story of the 40-year-old quarterback defying the odds, or the city whose team's success has helped them heal as a community from Hurricane Katrina -somewhere in the game there are lessons for us to apply to our lives. We only need to look beyond the final score and the "winners/losers" and find them.

Maybe that is the purpose of sports and of fandom. To connect us with others who share a passion for something that can inspire us to rise to heights of world-class performance.

This morning, I will lick the wounds from my team's defeat last night. I will put away my Vikings gear for another year, and go out and try to be the best father, husband, person, American, I can be, inspired by the great efforts these men demonstrated. The lessons of teamwork, fortitude, and community that lie beyond the game.

Maybe next year will be "Our Year" That is the beauty of sports. . . there is always another chance. . . Always a "Next Year."

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Uh Oh, Kids are Using Technology

Here we go again, ANOTHER study. This week, the most ridiculous study has been reported in just about every media outlet I visit. I heard it on Sirius Satellite, I saw it on the news, I read it in several news releases online, it has been emailed to me by friends who know my passion for the subject, and I even READ IT IN A NEWSPAPER. Remember them? Made from trees, recycled every two weeks, or used on the bottom of your pets' cages? Yes, I still read the paper three or four times a week. What else am I gonna do on the toilet. . . I guess I could Tweet, but that would be too silly. . . tweeting while I'm Tooting! (Corny, but I couldn't resist it.)

The study, funded by the Kaiser Family Foundation, reports on the increase of technology used by youth, and its seemingly negative effect on their progress as students. The report - Which is getting A LOT of press is the result of studying 2002 kids aged 8-18. In a country of approximately 74 million kids covering that age range, we are going to take stock in a study that is comprised of 2002 people? That is 0.000027 % of the population, but luddites (haters of technology and the changes it brings), and those teachers who have been "Teaching the same way for 30 years" will revel in this.

Check out the ridiculous chart on the right here to get a glimpse of the general results of the study. I can't believe that someone actually funded this report. I don't even want to know what it cost. I could have saved them a lot of time and money and made four or five phone calls and come up with the same results.

Considering that the iPod - THE MP3 player, was not released until 2001, OF COURSE more people have one today. Kids had walkmen and boomboxes before that, so why wouldn't they have an MP3 player.

I didn't get a cell phone until 1999, and only used it in case of an emergency. NOW, my iPhone is a mini computer that I can text, surf the Internet, take pictures with, OH. . . and it is an MP3 Player! (not to mention a portable movie player too.

Lastly - regarding this chart - with all of the time they seem to be spending on the computer, in front of the television, texting, and using other technology, they only spend 5 minutes less reading print publications. . . . 5 MINUTES!?!? I wonder how many minutes they spend reading online? Do you think it is more than 5 minutes? Hmmm Here is your headline:
KIDS ARE READING MORE - Just not paper-based books , papers, and magazines.
. . . . .5 Minutes. . . (head shake in despair)

OF COURSE kids are using more technology. More technology is available. How many more people are blogging and reading blogs today? Hey, I am writing one and you are reading it - Thankfully =) It makes me think of a funny parallel.

1913 Henry Ford put into operation the first assembly line for automobiles. They could build a Model-T in 90 minutes. I wonder if there was money wasted on a study of how many more cars there were on the road in 1919, or BETTER YET, the increase of automobile accidents from 1909 to 1919. . . DUH. . . Yes, I said "DUH"


Here are some of the so-called "Key findings"

With my comment followed in italics:

-Children ages 8 to 18 are now spending more than 53 hours a week (7:38 hours/day) using entertainment media. Ten years ago, that figure was 43 hours a week.

We would hpe that those extra two hours are happening in school and our students are being taught to communicate and learn in our new technology-driven society.

-Television still dominates among young people, followed by music, computers and video games. TV watched online and over phones has contributed to television viewing.

•The operative word. . . STILL. . . OK No change here.

-Kids spend 38 minutes a day reading a print publication, compared to 43 minutes a day 10 years ago.

• Already commented on this WOW! 5 minutes. . . .Come on!

-Nearly seven in 10 youth have a cell phone, compared to four in 10 a decade ago. Those kids are using mobile phones for music, videos and other entertainment more than for talking.

SO, the phones have more features which replace other items they used to carry around. . . Earth-Shattering!!!!

-When parents want to restrict or reduce media use, they can. But few parents enforce the rules they set.

Point. . . . Got one?

-Nearly half of all heavy users of media platforms have C grades or lower, compared to 23 percent of light users.

Most technology users have been traditionally viewed as "Nerds" so now half of them are and half of them aren't. Silly. . . .just silly

AND THE DUMBEST "FINDING"

-The biggest users of media are black and Hispanic youth in their early teen years

WHAT??? - Nuff Said. . . . Where did they get their sample from, an urban school in Essex County New Jersey. I am sure, if we went to suburban Morris County, NJ we can find a sampling of 2002 students who are not black nor hispanic, use technology the same amount as the test stated, and are getting A's in school.

My point in all of this is to not only poke fun at the waste of money on an inane study and let's not take studies as being universal fact. Take the time to read the backstory of the study before you go to a party or are sitting in your company's break room and you say "You know . . .kids today. . . they are obsessed with technology. . . when I was a kid. . . AS A MATTER OF FACT, there was a study I heard about that blah blah blah. . . ."

I am hopeful that kids are embracing the new technologies, and that eventually, content developers and teachers will learn to harness the power of technology to empower our children to develop more of it.

CARE TO READ THE FULL 70+ PAGE REPORT? Click here:

http://www.kff.org/entmedia/upload/8010.pdf

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Wyoming - The Welfare State

I have shared this plan with family and friends and have received mixed reviews. Usually those who are not conforming members of a political party are in support, and those who are staunch party members call me a radical. Well as a non-party affiliate AMERICAN I take their label as "a radical" as a great complimen. Once upon a time Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and Ben Franklin were all viewed as being a little radical too. My plan, although a little unique, will not only save us money, but will make our country more productive.

My plan is to move everyone who receives welfare to Wyoming. YES - WYOMING. No, I am not proposing concentration camps, nor am I proposing slave labor reservations. If you think about it, we have done with our poor, exactly what we did with the indigenous people (Native American Indians) - we have relegated them to reservations. We don't call them reservations, we call them housing projects or trailer parks. I shared with you my experience in the inner city projects and how welfare was becoming the "family business." The current model is that we are offering money for nothing. I have known people who would not look for jobs because, if they made too much money, they would lose their welfare benefits. They figured that the difference between their welfare checks and their employment checks was not enough for them to actually HAVE TO go out and go to work. They would rather not have to be somewhere and just collect their check. A unique conundrum.

Not anymore - you want a check? Go to Wyoming. Randy you can't do this.. . .You're CRAZY.
REALLY? I believe, if I ran for president with welfare reform and the renaissance of American productivity as my platform, I might only lose two electoral votes - Wyoming. Maybe not. The increase of population may gain them a larger tax base and additional representation in congress, so they might even vote for me too.

Why Wyoming, and what are we going to do once we get there?
Wyoming is a landlocked state almost in the center of the country. It is also the least populated state. Both of these items are important.

Item 1 - Life is NOT a beach:
The bulk of our country's poor is located on the coasts and/or near our major metropolises. So, not only do they receive the "free check," they get to spend their days of non-work near a beach or near our cultural centers. Lets pay people to go to the shore, or hang out in the theater district and municipal parks. Wyoming has no such shore, and is not really known for its theater district and museums =). If you want to receive your check you need to give up the beach and develop your own cultural arts district.

Item 2 - Earn that check.
In moving to Wyoming, recipients will be trained in a career that will benefit the country. With Wyoming being quasi-centrally located, and having vast farmlands, we will train people in farming, construction, and new technologies. We will send the first set of trainees to build towns (not housing projects), factories and roads that will house the soon to be relocated families. Careers in the production of alternative energy sources - turbines, solar panels, REAL electric/solar cars, alternative fuel sources, etc. will be farmed, manufactured and distributed from Wyoming. The great grid that our president has alluded to will be centralized and created out of Wyoming. We will offer people training in positions that will benefit their new community. From sanitation workers to teachers to police officers and independent business owners, we will offer them an opportunity to earn the checks we are currently giving them for free. Wyoming would become the hub of innovation and the state whose farms feed the world and fuel the country.

I am sure American industry would be more than willing to assist in the creation of factories, railroads, and townships. Think of what Milton Hershey did in Pennsylvania. Disney also envisioned EPCOT as a real city - not a theme park. It was to be the Experimental Prototypical Community Of Tomorrow (EPCOT). We might have Pepsi, Wyoming, whose High School's rivals are Coca Cola Regional. You may see the birth to two technology towns Apple, Wyoming, and its rival Microsoft Falls, Wyoming. The Grammy's would be held at the state of the art iTunes Theater in the heart of Pixar, Wyoming.

Item 3 - But Randy, I don't want to go.
You have choices. 1. You get a job in the current region you are in and pay your own rent, 2. you get your check and are placed in a new career opportunity and restart of your life in Wyoming, or 3. You leave the country. You don't get your cake and eat it too. You earn your check or you become a productive member of society. The current housing projects will be either upgraded or knocked down and replaced (sounds like new jobs right there) and will be converted into condos that those who decided to not go to Wyoming will have an opportunity to purchase. If you do not go to Wyoming or get a job that will allow you to afford the home, you will be homeless - which will be unacceptable. Homeless shelters will no longer be available, because we will not have any homeless people. There is a home for everyone - in Wyoming. The other option you have is to relocate yourself to another country. We will pay for a one-way ticket to another location in the world, where you will then give up your U.S. citizenship and the items you leave behind will be auctioned off to counter the expense of your flight or ship passage.

Item 4 - How are we going to pay for this?
We already are paying for it. Now, we will get something out of it. We will no longer have to outsource our factory production to China or Mexico. We will develop a fair wage scale and quality of life for those participating in the Wyoming project. Production of goods will not be inflated because we will make it illegal for unions to inflate the cost of production. We will have representation from the welfare recipients in a democratic board that will include leaders of industry, government officials, and the common man. A three house approach will be established - like the federal government - to ensure fair treatment of participants and to avoid the need for unionization. Picture it. . . our tax dollars going towards building our country's infrastructure and gross national product, instead of paying people to stay at home and watch Oprah, Wendy Williams, and SoapNet. Additionally, as formerly mentioned, we would be able to license out the naming of towns like we do our stadiums.

So there it - solving homelessness, welfare abuse, and our dependence on foreign manufacturing and power development. Obviously, I have other sub-plans regarding training and education but this is a blog - not a government paper - anyone get through that healthcare document yet? Talk about saving a tree =)

WELCOME TO WYOMING - WHERE EVERYONE GETS A FAIR CHANCE TO LIVE THE AMERICAN DREAM.

Monday, January 18, 2010

A Day ON, not OFF, for MLK

I'm taking a break from our political weekend discussion and will shared with everyone my "Sure-to-be-popular" plan for welfare reform in tomorrow's posting. I was going to do it today, but I had a conversation with my daughters that made me rethink today's topic.

The children are off today to celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I always question school holidays like this - Columbus Day, Marin Luther King, President's Day (or once upon a time Lincoln and Washington's Birthday). After my conversation, and watching my children plan their day off, I don't know if my opinion has changed at all.

I asked them why we had off today. Their answer was very complete, as they parroted back their school lesson that "MLK was a great peace keeper who worked hard to gain equal rights for all people." "If it wasn't for him," my ten year old continued "then I wouldn't be able to be friends with black people." Interesting interpretation - if not for MLK, she couldn't have black friends. I wasn't about to get into a conversation regarding the superficiality of that statement - she is 10, and more naive than we give our 10-year-olds credit for. We sometimes lose track of the development of our children, and forget how we were at 10. It did bring us to a deep conversation about the perpetuation of our differences and possibly our prejudices. She didn't know that's what we were talking about. She just thought we were talking about school and her friends, which my wife and I do often.

I have always enjoyed history, and continue to consume it as a reader, perpetuate it as a writer, and can't get enough of it as a viewer, but sometimes I wonder what the value of recognizing the wrongs of generations past has for our children. Does studying the plight of segregation, that was not part of my own upbringing, have any validity in our current generation's lives? I was in elementary school, in Newark, in the 70's. With the Alexander v. Holmes County BOE ruling OFFICIALLY ending segregation in public schools (which was different from the separate but equal ruling garnered from Brown v. BOE of 1955) this victory and the rest of the Civil Rights Movement were as fresh to the adults in my young generation as the end of Vietnam to the next elementary school set, and the end of the cold war, Desert Storm, 9-11, and the first black president, would be for generations that would follow. Interestingly to note, if you ask an elementary school child about these events, their knowledge would have been or would be superficial generalizations of subjective opinions garnered from overhearing their parents talk.
Elementary school children are not of an age where they "care" about political or other worldly issues. They care about being happy and having friends and fitting in with their peers. You may be lucky, as my wife and I are, to have children who are sensitive to the needs of families who have less than we do, and to the mistreatment of animals. That is probably the most political insight or social change we can expect from our second and fourth grader. They feel bad for the kids in Haiti, but don't understand its impact from a global and/or societal standpoint. AND WHY SHOULD THEY. . . . THEY ARE KIDS!! Allow them to be kids and enjoy the wonder of being a child, while instilling in them the Golden Rule - Do Unto Others, As You'd Like Done Unto You. We teach them to be nice.

My girls are friends with children of various backgrounds - including, but not limited to, religious, family heritage, and skin tone. It is interesting to note that when they described their friends to me, they would never say "the black kid" the Indian Kid" "the Jewish girl" or "the Asian boy." They would say my friend from class, soccer, dance, or whatever they were involved in. When asked to describe their friend, it would take the third or fourth descriptor that would possibly give you the idea that they were of a different culture. They saw the kids as other kids - not as categories.

SO WHY TEACH THEM ABOUT DIFFERENCES? Kids ARE Kids.

I think it is important for us to respect and pay homage to the deeds and impact great people have had on society; however, instead of taking a day off from learning and discussing, lets have a special day of recognition and impact. Let's not have a day off of work/school, lets have a special "Day ON" at work/school.

I remember being a 28 year old supervisor proposing this at a meeting. Mind you I was 15 years the junior of any other person in my position, so it must have come across as the rantings of some young upstart. The superintendent, principals and other supervisors and I were going over the development of the master schedule for the following year, when I said, lets end or begin school a couple days later in September or earlier in June and pick up a couple of the random days like Presidents' Day, Columbus Day or MLK. The truth was, I liked teaching and thought it was more difficult to recover from a random off day then it was to have the kids coming in as usual. The day after and the Friday before Memorial Day (or any Monday holiday) was always difficult because of the excitement of the extra day off, the restart after a hiccup in the routine, and the impending four-day work week. Those of you who have been or are classroom teachers understand this energy. You would think I asked everyone to give up their paychecks. I must have been CRAZY. You then knew who the skiers were, who I was asking to give up an extra day on the slopes in January and February =). I did receive support from the Social Studies and English Supervisors, who saw the benefit of a special "Day On." They had MUCH more influence than I did and took the ball and ran with it, and the master schedule had a special day "ON" for MLK day - which was an optional day at the time. The skiers were pissed, but the educators were not. We held a day that in each class we discussed topics like fortitude, self-awareness, trust, tolerance, . . . etc. We discussed writings of those who made change and crusaded on behalf of others. The supervisors lead their team of teachers through wonderful activities allowing the students to apply their academics in tangible ways.

Later on, as a principal, I had the same opportunity to have a "Day On" for Veterans Day, where we offered activities that explored heroism and selflessness. It ended up being one of the greatest days in my educational carer.

Today, when you sit and talk with your children about their day, why not discuss the importance of the spirit of MLK. Don't discuss the plight of the blacks during the early-mid 20th Century. Don't put the idea that we have differences - because we really don't - into their heads. We are all humans . We are all Americans. The likes of AL Sharpton has made a career on keeping us separated - perpetuating the spirit of separation that plagued America during the 60's - 50 years ago - and not the innocence of what our children are experiencing, where kids are just kids, not a color, a race or a creed.

Let's think about having "Days ON" with our children, if our schools won't support us, and conform with the politicos who make the schedules. Let's celebrate:
Columbus Day by discussing or exploring new places with our children.
MLK Day by figuring out how we can use our lives to help others.
President's Day and Memorial Day by taking time to appreciate the great country we share and to find a way we can help perpetuate the positive qualities that keeps us the greatest country in the world.

We should not spotlight what separates us. On the contrary, we should appreciate and honor our differences as unique parts of the spectrum that makes up America. We are not a melting pot, but a spectrum of colors that should stand as the rainbow our children and grand children will someday travel over.

Happy MLK Day. Hope your dreams are clear to you today, and you get an opportunity to discuss with your friends, children, or neighbors his legacy.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Throwing "Coffee Money" at our Problems

In my last blog, I "discussed," more like ranted about, the fact that we are so preoccupied with helping the people of Haiti, that not unlike an easily distracted preschooler who keeps the sink filling up and leaves the bathroom because Elmo's World came on, we once again take our focus off our own problems and go to the aide of others. So while we are helping the Haitian people, our own sinks are overflowing. When we finally return to the bathroom there is another mess for us to clean up.

One of my friends questioned what we are doing as a country. He said that my posting was "true to a point" but questioned the I allusion I made to the "teach a man to fish" adage. He said, "I ask, are any of us actively teaching fishing, and patching holes here?" then continued on another post with "This is how we 'help' our fellow Americans. 'Get a job!' 'Get off wellfare' 'Stop asking for healthcare!' 'Stop having kids!' I don't see many fishing poles. . . ."

I LOVE IT! I love the questions, I love the response, I love the his portrayal of the common man's reaction to the downtrodden and American "down on their luck."

Just like all of you, I spend a lot of time observing people, and trying to make a connection with them. It is hard to survive and be successful without making, at the very least, cordial connections. You can't be a successful actor, director, writer, performer, producer, teacher, social worker, police officer, parent, counselor, instructor, animator, etc. without observing people, understanding people, and trying to connect with people. For the most part, in my personal life, I am a solitary person, but I spend my days interacting with people as studies for characters I might write and/or play in a production we are working on.

Throughout my very eclectic experiences I have had professionally, including construction worker, flooring mechanic, horse whisperer (I mean trainer. . .LOL), music therapist, teacher, magnet school director, principal, animator, producer, performer. . . .etc. I have had the fortune of connecting with people of all walks of life and all types of backgrounds. These interactions make my current position as a writer/producer much easier. It also gives me a unique view of the human condition and of how people respond to various challenges and social issues. It has also helped me establish my personal philosophy as a parent, a husband, a businessman, and an American.

Is a fish out of water bound to eventually adapt, or will it just become dinner?
I remember being a middle school teacher in the projects of Paterson and Newark. A part of me wanted to adopt each of my students and expose them to an alternate way of upbringing. Then I would question, what would my bringing them to "the suburbs" (as I was in seventh grade) do for them? Would I be offering them an "easier" life, where there was less fear and therefore less need for the survival skills that they had been developing? Would I be doing more harm than good, by removing them from their natural "habitat"? Conversely, would my classmates in high school been better off if they experienced an exchange program to Barringer High School in Newark for a year? I'd be interested in exploring this further in future blogs and discussions, but it is not relevant in responding to yesterday's comments. Is a fish out of water bound to eventually adapt, like their amphibian cousins, or will that fish just become dinner?

I knew when it was "check day" (the day when the welfare checks arrived). The day after would have my students arrive in school with $150 sneakers, new "bling" and the latest in apparel and accessories. However, when lunchtime came, if they were not on free lunch, they would have a Pepsi and a Ring Ding packed. How were we supposed to expect these kids to have the focus and energy for the rest of the day (forget about the fact that they probably had the same thing for breakfast) with that "Lunch of Champions" The welfare check was spent like my daughter getting a gift card to Target for her birthday. She is not going to spend it in the food aisle or on getting new underwear, sock, or school supplies. She will spend it on a new DS cartridge, or a DVD, or some new Legos. That is OK, because it is a gift, and she is 10. The welfare check, however, is NOT a gift. It was designed to HELP a family get back on their feet and then get OFF welfare and become contributing members of society.

Welfare has become the new "family business."
When I asked my students what they wanted to do when they were older, they would say, "I don't know. Why do I have to do anything? I will probably collect like my mom and grandma." Not unlike the generations of distended-bellied villagers we have been sending our "coffee money" to for generations, welfare has become that free bowl of rice, that is being spent on Nikes, Gold, iPods, and Jay-Zee downloads.

So maybe my friend is right. Maybe we are not doing enough to help those in need. Maybe, as I think about it, we are just throwing "coffee money" at our own problems. Maybe it is time for us to figure out how to fix our roofs, and empower our people to revitalize the American society. We can change the channel when we see the "Save the Children" commercials, or we can figure out a way to make it unnecessary to produce the commercials. I still submit and support, that we need to feed our own before we save the world. Lets continue this discussion until we figure it out. Lets not be like public education, where we discuss topics and change, but never act upon it.

Our country was founded on the actions of a few patriots who moved the colonies to stand up and say "No More." My friends, it is time that we come up with a plan and WE do it.

It's the American Way.

Next Blog - A radical proposal for welfare reform. You guys will "love" this one.

Friday, January 15, 2010

We Are the World?

And now what you all have been waiting for. . . . A little bit of contoversy

Here is what those of you who know me, or have known me are saying. "Yes, we know Randy tries hard to emulate Mister Rogers, and tries to inspire others to become the most fulfilled person they can, and he is OBSESSED with changing the way people teach, learn, and have fun, as well as the whole "Niceness Initiative," . . . . but we also know that Randy has "unique" opinions about politics, pop culture, and other topics.

So here it is.

We all grew up seeing the kids in the villages with distended stomachs, flies on their faces, and no food. Generation after generation of poor villagers procreating - perpetuating an already seemingly unsurmountable situation. Sally Struthers telling us that "For the price of a cup of coffee, we can feed this child." Gameshow legend Bob Barker (ironic last name) would remind us to spay and neuter our pets, to avoid over population. Why were we not, in addition to feeding these children, providing the adults and the future adolescents with birth control and/or spaying and neutering services (no, I do not think they are animals, so don't read anything into that - but you get my point).

Let's pull out another old cliche - "Give a man a fish and you feed him for today, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." How much of that coffee money was going into teaching people how to fish? How much of that coffee money was going into the production of those commercials and buying the airtime? We have been seeing those commercials for decades. Where are the kids we fed in the 70's? Are we feeding their kids and their grandkids?

Why am I writing about this? Haiti. I feel horrible for the tragedy that has befallen the island. I am also a big proponent of helping my fellow man (or animal). My wife and I have tried to raise our girls to think of others. They have a donate box that they put their change in, and they have started their own knitting club to raise money for the ASPCA. We donate to various charities and realize how fortunate we are. I wanted to preface that before my next statement.

So. . . I am assuming, since we are all jumping to donate money to Haiti that everything is fixed and back to normal in Louisiana. The mess from Katrina has been cleaned and everyone is back in their homes. I assume, since we are sending food to Haiti, that our homeless people have all been placed in a home and no children will go hungry tonight. I assume, since we are donating money to Haiti, that our unemployment rate has dropped and we have solved our "recession."

I feel bad for the people of Haiti, but the United States, according to 2009 statistics is the 6th - (SIXTH) check it again. . . . SIXTH!! wealthiest country in the world. Why are we jumping to help, and our own people are still hurting? Why are we feeding the world, and our own kids are hungry? Why are we fixing other disasters and we haven't completed fixing our own? I appreciate that in New York City there are 125,000 Haitian-Americans. However, in a country of 300 million people, that does account for .04% - that is four percent of one percent of the population.

I get Wycleff doing what he does. It is HIS country. . . . but George Clooney and Brad/Angelina. . .? . . . .timely PR? How about a telethon for America, George?

For that matter. . . how about IDOL GIVES BACK. . . to the U.S.?? It is called American Idol and they were building schools and providing supplies for village kids in a third-world country. That country has no budget, no income, no means of feeding its own people? If not, I am sorry, but we obviously don't have enough to take care of our own too. . . . .Or do they choose to spend their money on other items and expect the free ride from the Patsy. . . Ooops. . .I mean "Nice" American people who don't seem to receive the respect that we deserve worldwide.

I have an idea. . . .let's fix the roof on our own house before we plug the holes in our neighbors', who I don't see reciprocating.

Deep breath. . . . taking a deep breath. . . . Ok. . .

Harry Chapin is one of my greatest influences as a musician, songwriter, and humanitarian. He could really tell a story, and was very intimate with his audience. What a lot of people don't realize is that he would donate just about every other concert to charity. He was the founder of World Hunger Year, which a couple years after his untimely death, was the springboard for USA for Africa - you remember. . . .music please. . . "We are the World . . . We ARE the children" (sung as Bruce Springsteen with Ray Charles waiting in the wings. . .LOL) I believe what he stood for was noble and altruistic.

But even when I was in high school and we would make believe we were each of the singers in the U.S.A for Africa music video, I would think to myself "Why are we feeding Africa, when we have hungry and homeless of our own?"

Now , at the 25th anniversary of the legendary release of We Are the World, we are still sending money and food overseas, and there are still hungry Americans. . . .There are still farmers being paid not to grow crops. . . .ponderous.

Instead of food and money, lets send some fishing rods and some seeds.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Midlife Crisis? Nah. . .Just a Crossroad.

We love to give excuses for ourselves and our loved ones, when our behavior or demeanor may be a bit "off." We blame, puberty, "that time of the month," lack of sleep, a "bug" that is going around, the baby is "teething," menopause, growing pains, a midlife crisis. . . Blah blah blah. Why do we need to justify our behaviors, or make excuses for the behaviors of our loved ones? Some of the beauty and intrigue of life is the fact that although we all travel similar paths, we see different things along the way, and respond to life's stimuli uniquely. You might have noticed, I did not use "depression" as an excuse. Clinical depression is a serious infliction that needs to be addressed properly. I had several students who suffered from depression, whose lives were dramatically different once they received the proper help (which was unique for each individual - no "magic pills" please).

Anyway, back to my point.

Working with and/or mentoring students and adults during my professional time in education and even now in. . . .whatever it is I do. . . LOL (an inside joke between my wife and me - Lets call it producing wholesome family entertainment), I have been able to see a pattern of crossroads that we all hit through our journeys. Some might call these "Comings of Age" while others might call them CRISIS.

I don't like to label them as anything other than crossroads we approach every five years.

Real briefly, at:
  • Birth - Holy CRAP. Who turned on the lights? What happened to my water bed. You want be to get my nourishment through my mouth, and take it from where (well that's not necessarily bad, for those being breast fed - I, unfortunately, wasn't)? The bellybutton thing was working just fine. You expect me to crawl, walk, talk, feed myself, and wipe my own butt? . . . .a lot of pressure for a former sperm and egg to handle.
  • Five years old, we start school fulltime and have to adjust to not being with mommy all day, or actually having a schedule - it is like having to go to work. We are now responsible for our actions over an insane amount of time. Being asked to stay focused on the teachers' agenda from 8AM until 2:30. How many of us stay focused like that as "adults?". . . .not too much pressure there.
  • Around 10-12 we enter the "hair a day crowd." Each day a new hair is popping up on our bodies and we have no idea what we are going to do about it. Stay focused on your studies, behave yourself, while your hormones are raging, the opposite sex is not longer "yucky" and your peers are beginning to establish the "pecking order." . . . . not too much pressure there.
  • Around 16-18 we start thinking about college and our future, and begin developing our voice in society. We start acting out to prove we are ready for impending adulthood, and we are pressured with the notion that we can actually make a valid decision on what we want to do with the rest of our lives. . . . .Pressure?. . . I think so.
  • Around 21-23 we graduate college and are expected to get a "real job" in a career we selected in the previous phase that we probably have lost interest in already. We are also supposed to move out, begin looking for a mate, and survive on our own. . . .not too much pressure there. Some of us go to grad school to prolong the inevitable entree into the "real world."
  • 24-30 We have to find a mate and procreate. . .Nuff said!
  • 31-36 We are either establishing ourselves in our professional positions, or we are realizing that we were far too uniformed and immature to decide what we wanted to do when we were 16-18 years old. A lot of us are realizing we are miserable in our professional lives, but are becoming too settled in because of the responsibilities of being a parent and/or a spouse. More times than not we settle and begin our automatic pilot.
  • 37-42 We are getting tired of doing the same things day in and day out and probably look in the mirror and say "this is not how I pictured myself at 40" Are bodies are not as resilient as they once were, and the abuse we put it through during our teens, 20's, and early 30's is starting to wear on us. We are scared that the rest of our lives are going to be this mundane day-in-day-out and we don't know how to deal with it.
  • 43-49 - Whoah. . . if I have't made my money by now, I am in trouble. Here comes college tuition. . . .and look what's around the corner from there - weddings! When did I start getting old??? I am going to retire from THIS job? I can't make changes now. Too many dependents, too many responsibilities, are those love handles? Who really loves love handles?. . . .what happened to my hair?. . . why is it starting to grow out of my ears and the top of my nose?. . . .We have now entered into the new HAIR A DAY CROWD. . .=) Puberty 2 - the sagging sequel? Gravity Strikes Back.
I'll stop there, because I think I have illustrated a pattern. It seems, from my submission above, that we are in crisis every 5 years. Every 5 years we hit a crossroads. Some have shared with me that they "go into a funk" at various times, or they feel a little disconnected. The pessimist will view these times as times of confusion or crisis. The optimist or adventurer will view them as opportunities to take a new path. It is far scarier to take the new path, and risk the comfort of the "known." However, it is through risking or daring to take that new path that we make our lives richer, more fulfilling, and therefore enrich the lives of those around us.

Robert Frost has become a cliche regarding the way we approach these "crossroads", however, his simple words ring true. It is the times that we have taken the road less traveled that we have experienced the greatest growth in our lives, and we find ourselves being the most proud of ourselves.

It is best to have a partner at these times. I am fortunate enough to have a supportive wife who realizes that every 5 years, we are going to approach the crossroads. (after 19 years together, she has stood with me at several - I'd like to think I've done the same - just probably not as well). If you don't have someone in your life to provide you with the patience and compassion my wife gives me, well maybe that is the theme of this leg of your journey. It need not be a spouse, it can be a friend who "gets you." It is a journey you must take on your own, but is wonderful to share along the way.

No matter what age or stage you are in you are NOT IN CRISIS. You are at an exciting point in your life. A time where you can make great changes. A time where you can embrace the rest of your life as a series of avenues, knowing that in another 5 years, you'll be at a new crossroad, armed with more life experience to help you forge forward.

People buy fast cars, begin dating younger men/women, and/or begin changing their appearances (amongst other things) because they think they "need" these external changes or additions to make them feel better. Those things just add ice to the road ahead. When we can see that those things are distractions from the scary task of continuing our journeys, it is then we will travel through the crossroads and grow.

Enjoy the journey.

BONUS MATERIAL:
Here is a copy of Robert Frost's Poem:
THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Monads. . . Yes, it starts with an M

Yesterday I asked that you joined me in a short exercise, of going through your Facebook friends list and trying to recall something positive or a memory about each person - how he/she impacted your life, and/or what kind of roll they might have played (supporting actor, walk-on, grip) in the credit roll of the epic no-so-minisiries that is your life As a result, I de-friended 4 people (sounds cold, but they were people who became friends because we were in a Facebook group together, or their last name was Rossilli and they lived in Italy, and I had never, nor will probably ever meet them. I am sure, if they knew I de-friended them, they would not be too affected by it. . . .(well who knows, with what I'm about to discuss)

Anyway, I hope you took the time to do it, and it gave you a chance to reflect on the relationships in your life, past and present. When I do something like that, it makes me think about how I could have been and can still be a better person. How I could have been nicer and more compassionate in the past and will continue to work on being nicer and more compassionate each and every day.

That brings me to today's topic. MONADS. Yes, it does not start wit a G, so get your minds out of gutter, or your hands out of your pants, gentlemen. =)

I started my day, this morning, calling my parents to see if anyone had died yesterday. Pretty morbid, I know, but I will explain. . .

During my adulthood, on my birthday, twice, I have experienced the loss of a loved one. My Uncle Steve, who convinced me to stay in school instead of packing up my guitar and moving to Nashville to chase the "Neon Rainbow", and my Uncle Sal, who was one of the several uncles I had who was a teacher (and the one who did not try to talk me out of becoming one myself). Additionally, my brother and sister-in-law lost their aunt a couple years ago, which made me sad for them. She was a young woman.

After losing my uncles, I reflected on the words of Thomas Edison, which I often do. He believed that when you passed on, your life's essence exploded into millions of "monads" (atoms, simple pieces of energy) that would enter into those whose lives you had touched during your time on Earth, and those who will be impacted by the legacy that you leave behind. I never met Thomas Edison, Mister Rogers, Walt Disney, Harry Chapin, or Jim Henson, but I find myself referencing their lives and legacy as I follow my own dreams and build my own legacy. The impact they have had on me, are simply the monad their lives left behind and entered into my soul, having a positive impact on my life.

I am not upset that I had loss on my birthday, I looked at it as an opportunity for me to each year think about my uncles and the impact they had on our family, their children, their grand children, and directly on me. Also, how the domino effect of their goodness, the monads they left behind, will continue to have on the community of people their legacy will impact. It is not unlike the Holiday Classic, It's A Wonderful Life. That movie demonstrates that we are all important, we all have impact, we all are integral parts in the Epic Not-So-Miniseries that is the history of the world. Sometimes you are a principal actor, and sometimes you are a walk-on.

Constantin Stanislavski, (you know, the acting teaching legend) has been credited with saying, "There are no small parts, just small actors." Some people laugh at that one, but I think if you reflect on the "Wonderful Life" theme, you never know when someone might be looking at you in your "bit part." If you are not playing it authentically, then you are lessening the entire production.

Today, think to yourself: "When I pass, where will my monads go? Who will I have impacted during my time on Earth? What legacy will I leave behind to inspire those who follow generations after I am gone?" Living a mindful life will not only make your current life more rich, but it will leave the world a better place than when you first entered it.

By the way, yesterday, animator Art Clokey, the creator of Gumby and Davey and Goliath, passed away. He was 88. I never met him, but his work made me smile. . . thanks for the monad.

Monday, January 11, 2010

A Birthday - Mine and Yours

I have an interesting thing for you to do when you visit your Facebook today. In addition to being fun, it might be helpful in refocusing some of your lives. I know it was for me.

Today is my Birthday. At 42 years old, Jack La Lanne would say that I am a little over one quarter of the way through my life. He shared with me once that he felt (and had some interesting logic behind it) that the human body should last for 150-160 years, we just abuse it too much to allow it to last that long. That being said, today I took some time to reflect on that thought.

Each day I try to take some time to reflect on where I am and where I am going. I meditate each morning when I wake up and before I go to bed. However, there are several times in the year that causes you to really sit and reflect. Most people use New Years and their Birthday. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, those two days for me are only 11 days apart. So I spend the first week of January each year really organizing my thoughts and spending time planning the next leg of my journey.

Today I came into the office, opened my MacBook, and found a pile of email waiting for me in my non-business account. It was filled with birthday emails from people posting on my Facebook Wall. Additionally, I have received personal emails and texts.

Hallmark must be cursing FaceBook, email, and the personal computer in general =)

These wishes came from such a unique collection of people from my life. In addition to the immediate family and few close friends and neighbors I have, there are people my family used to vacation with that I haven't seen for nearly 30 years; people from high school who I haven't seen for 20 years (and might not have called me a friend back then), there are people I have met through my children (other parents, coaches, players parents, etc.) friends I have made through my wife and other family members, there are "fans" from my professional pages, business associates, cousins I see at weddings and funerals, . . . . quite a potpourri of characters.

Seeing that virtual spectrum of people made me think about something that does cross my mind from time to time. When you watch a movie, it is easy to recognize the stars who get the top billing. When you watch a football game, most people (even casual watchers) can name the quarterback and the other "playmakers." We fail to recognize the supporting players, the extras, the walk-ons in the movie of our lives.. . .or in football, the assistant trainers, the special teams players, the guy who fixes the helmets - and even sometimes the offensive linemen (those whose support is integral to the success of the "playmakers").

What I'd like you to do today is go through your FaceBook Friends list. As you go through the list, see if you can remember one nice thing about each person on your list - a nice memory, a fine personality trait, a fun experience you shared - and see how that impacted your life. We study history to learn from the experiences of those who came before us, to make our own journeys easier and our own successes more attainable. We rarely, if ever, study our own history. Take a couple minutes today, instead of going to Farmville, playing Mafia Wars, or playing Bejeweled Blitz, and reflect on the characters in your life - past and present. It might trigger a dream you once had, goals you had forgotten, or ideals you once held close to your hear that life kind of "got in the way of." It might help bring a rebirth to what some call your "authentic self." I did it, and it really left me feeling quite insightful and at peace today.

Today might be YOUR birthday too. Or at least the re-Birthday of some goals dreams and ideals that you had "Once upon a time."

Saturday, January 9, 2010

My Bride - My comedy partner.

Everybody loves to laugh, but sometimes material can get stale. Nowhere is this more evident, than in a marriage.

A comedian is not unlike a traveling minstrel of the past. He/she develops an act and brings it from town to town - club to club - and entertains the area people with his/her set of jokes, observations, bits, etc. With the advent of radio, comedians who had earned reputations and/or a following were able to get in front of larger audiences with their material, and would get their own radio programs, or appear on variety shows that replaced the vaudevillian experiences they were having on the road. This became even more of a phenomenon through television - George and Gracie Burns, Danny Thomas, Red Skelton through modern Bill Cosby, Roseanne Barr/Arnold, Jerry Seinfeld, Ray Romano. . .etc. These comedians had to become situationally funny - thus the advent of the situational comedy (sit-com).

I remember watching the standup of Roseanne back in the 80's the first couple times we heard about her "uterus being a divining rod" was funny. However, she would do the same bit on Johnny Carson, Arsenio Hall, David Letterman, etc. Same material supposedly different sets of audiences. Then she got her own special and used the same material again. We could probably say the same thing about Seinfeld and his emote control bit or Cosby and his going to the dentist bit.

I have always been one who loves a good joke, and revels in being able to make people laugh. Far from ever having the ability of a standup comic, I am usually one who makes people laugh situationally. One of the funnier relationships I have is that with my wife. She is probably one of the funnier people I know; however, unlike me, her humor and delivery are much more subtle than mine. I am quite overt and high energy, while she is drier and more funny behind the scenes.

After 19 years of being with my wife, she unfortunately has heard all of my bits. Once in a while I will come up with something new, but very quickly, after a couple social events, that new material becomes more stale than Roseanne's uterus. I try to tell her, it is old material to you, but new to the current set of listeners. Eye roll. . . head shake. . . and right there she will say something clever. Now that I think of it, maybe I am not the funny one, but I am my wife's straight man. My stale jokes (I will continue to submit. . . to her) are still not as funny as the banter between us that will follow the laughter of my new victims. . . I mean. . . audience. . . =)

So as long as I can find new audiences I don't need new material. Additionally, I don't know that she realizes that she is an INTEGRAL part of my "comedy show."

I wonder if Lucy and Ricky or George and Gracie Burns went through this too.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Puberty - My Little Bighorn

I recently saw the movie Night at the Museum 2 with my family. It was a funny movie and it gave me the opportunity to dust off Daddy the teacher, and explain some history to my girls, which they seem to like. As a matter of fact they seem to encourage it through their inquiry. As I was watching it, one of the characters that I explained to them provided me with a clear understanding of a phenomenon that is about to change my life. That historical figure was General George Armstrong Custer.

General Custer is best known for his death at Little Bighorn. It has been recreated in cartoons, on screen, and in illustrations again and again as a clueless general who allowed himself to get surrounded by several groups of Native American Indians. He and a third of his 700 man regiment were killed, and 60 more injured. What is lost in the retelling of Custer's history is that he was a fairly successful Civil War Vet, who was there at the final battles when the North conquered the South. He had a lot of wins under his belt, but he will be remembered as a loser. This fate is not unlike Billy Buckner during the 86 World Series. Buckner was an excellent baseball player, but he will be remembered as the guy who blew the World Series for the Red Sox by letting the ball go through his legs.

Once upon a time, I had a wife, two daughters, some cats, and a bunny, and lived in a modest home in suburban Essex County, NJ. I walked into the house and my daughters would run to the door and greet me like a returning conquering general. My wife would look on shaking her head (having been with me for over 19 years) in disgust over the adulation I would receive. She would tease "Daddy can do no wrong," and for the past 10 years, she was right. I had daughters because I always thought "daughters will love you longer." How naive of me to not see what was about to happen next.

Well a new conflict broke out over the past couple weeks, and General Daddy has been called out to battle. Instead of the insurgence being potty-training, boo boo fixing, monsters under the bed, or learning to ride a two-wheeler - all items that my wife and I fought through together, shoulder to shoulder (But I got most of the credit), the new foe is more powerful than any that I could ever imagine. . . . . one that I was intimate with once upon a time. One that made me into a man. . . . that once wonderous friend turned foe, who has also enlisted the services of my one time foxhole mate, my wife, is none other than. . . . .PUBERTY!

Puberty. . . .I walked into the house yesterday, and my wife and 10 year old (with the 7 year old listening in) were discussing the joys of womanhood. Periods, body hair, leg and armpit shaving, boobies. . . .BOOBIES!!! Instead of the conquering general walking in, this day I became a man. . . .no, not like a young Jewish boy going through his Bar Mitzvah, not like an Indian Warrior bringing back his first buffalo. . . .I became a member of the other team. I became "a man."

Unlike General Custer, I can see my Little Bighorn; however, just like the legendary General, I too fear that I will be losing a third of my regimen, and will soon be surrounded by an overwhelming force - a tribe known as Estrogen. Unfortunately, unlike Custer, who was seemingly put out of his misery, I will be taken as a prisoner of war, and tortured mercilessly for the remainder of my days.

Still. . . . I wouldn't trade my captors for the world.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Resolutions, Goals, and Excuses

Resolutions are funny and predictable. We all make them, then we all break them. We all make these resolutions with seemingly good intensions. What motivates us to make such grand claims and changes? For those of us who are goal oriented, this activity could be a jumpstart towards a career goal or a lifestyle change. For others, it is a way to draw attention to themselves. Either way, or whatever your motivation, we usually "fall off the wagon" and our resolution fades into the abyss of New Years past. We then make excuses for our "failures."

We need to resolve not to resolve in 2010. Instead, we need to live each day with small attainable goals. Like most 12-step programs (fortunately I have not been in one. . . yet =) ) if you live one day at a time trying to be the best you you can be, eventually, you will get on a roll and gradually make a huge impact on your life and those around you. I drive by the Polanar fruit factory (the "jelly" makers) several times a week. Outside they have a sign that counts the days in a row without an accident. They had a safety record of 400 days in a row. I drove by one day and it was back to 2. The same type of attitude should be taken regarding our own goals. One day at a time, building up a string of days of progress. If we fall off, it is not an excuse to quit, it is an opportunity to start again. Keep a record, a journal of what you are doing, what progress you are making.

I appreciate what Polanar is trying to do through its posting. I like the idea of trying to break a record for efficiency and keeping track of daily progress. However, think about the psychological hit one takes when they go from 400 days in a row back to 1. I would love to see an addition made to the sign that provides an overall running total. 400 days in a row, one bad day, another 300, one bad day. . . .Do the math on that. 700 good days and 2 bad. That is a 99.7% of the time efficiency. However, the jelly workers are now sitting on day 2 and feeling bad about themselves. It is OK to have a bad day once in a while. You want to build up your efficiency and longterm peformance.

Here is an idea. Keep track of each and every day you behave in the "newly resolved" manner. At the end of each week, each month, etc. give yourself a mark. If you were "good" 5 out of 7 days one week - that is a 71%. Well doesn't 71% beat 0%? We use our lack of accountability as an excuse to quit on our goals. If you take a step forward each day, by the end of the week you will be 7 steps down the road. When you make excuses, you are wasting valuable time dwelling on a perceived failure, instead of taking another step forward.

I resolved, once I started this Blog-thing yesterday, that I would continue to followup with it at least 5 times a week. I wanted to write more - although it is what I do for a living (if you can call it a living. . .LOL) What will I talk about each day? Who knows, but it will have something to do with being a dad, a producer, an educator, or sometimes "just being a guy" (whatever that means) As a former English teacher, this will not always be grammatically correct, because it will be a stream of consciousness. If I edit my work, I will never keep my resolution to write every day. So there it is. . .AN EXCUSE. Justification of why I will not do something. I would use my obsession with writing perfectly as a reason to not continue this exercise. I am also using my desire to write in a relaxed manner as an EXCUSE why my blogs will be filled with web-esque type of verbiage. . . .like the dot dot dot. . . or the LOL. . . smiley faces =), or any other type of writing that the old grammar text I used to tell my students to leave in their lockers would not support. WHO REALLY CARES. I am doing this for ME anyway. If people read this and get something from it, well that would be really COOL.

Resolve to make changes for yourself, and allow yourself to fail once in a while.
Excuses are copouts for those who really weren't ready for change.

So here I am 2 days in a row. That is 2 more posts than I had on Monday =)

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Wasting Time Studying Instead of Doing

I want to thank the members of the education community for inspiring me to FINALLY put together a blog. An honorable mention will go to my fellow parents, but I will save that for future entries. Today I want to discuss the STUDY of STUDYING. That's what I call people spending time and monetary resources studying the way schools are run, reporting on what they have observed, then going back to their universities or private offices and do some more studying.

It has been said that those who can. . . do, and those who can't. . . .teach. As a teacher, I always took exception to that phrase. I am not saying there isn't some truth to it; however, teaching in its own right is an art. . . a skill. . .a talent that requires a special person to connect with other people to inspire them to be better. There are, however, those burned-out teachers who are just riding on auto pilot and collecting a check. (I am sure I will blog about them soon too)
I would like to add my own part to that old phrase. Those who can. . . do, and those who can't. . . .teach, and those who can't teach. . . study it.

I am continued to be amazed by the money being spent. . . wasted. . . on studies that continue to report the obvious without any real solution. I read yesterday, for probably the 50th time, that there is a problem with the academic progress of our inner-city students. Our "minority population" is performing poorer than our non-minority popluation (Do we call them the majority?) How about, for once, someone decides to not just report on results of a study, or the results of standardized tests, and/or pontificate "what we should do" and actually roll up his/her sleeves and get back into the classroom, or the principal's office, or the superintendent's office, and make it happen.

That would require work. Real work. It would also require the risk of not being successful. It is easy and safe to observe and report.

I was prompted to begin this blog because once again I read about a person who wanted to study education for another 20 years. It was from an article in the New Jersey Paper, the Star-Ledger. A seven year study that resulted in the recommendation for another 20 year study. SO, come 2030 we will start implementing the results of this study - or start another one.
By then, I might have a grandchild entering preschool . . .comforting.

http://blog.nj.com/njv_bob_braun/2010/01/princeton_university_researche.html