The Next American Idol

SIMON: So why are you here?

CONTESTANT: I'm the next American Idol

VIEWERS AT HOME: Are you KIDDING ME?

American Idol is a study in Self-esteem. Nowadays, people seem uncomfortable with failure and providing critical feedback (unless they are American Idol judges). I remember distinctly growing up in a household that was fairly critical and competitive, during a time when it was alright to lose. My dad NEVER let me win a game of Candyland, Checkers, Chess, etc. When I played football and baseball the only time you received a trophy was when you won the championship. Growing up in that environment probably made me the competitive person I am today, as well as being very appreciative of times of victory. My daughters' rooms are filled with trophies and ribbons for "Participating" in soccer. My ten-year-old's soccer team did win the league championship two years in a row, and she received a trophy for that; however, she received an additional trophy that the rest of the league also received.

Why participation trophies? Some say, it makes everyone feel good, and like "a winner." I think it is coddling the children and having them lose out on the lesson of sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. There is a lot to be learned from losing. It does not have to feel like failure. It could and should be more like not succeeding. Thomas Edison was quoted as saying, when he was trying to prevent the incandescent lightbuld, "I have not failed, I have just found a thousand ways that don't work." He believed that the experience itself offered lessons that you could draw on in later experiments or experiences.

Back to American Idol

Like the proverbial train wreck, we watch, week in and week out, the regional tryouts to see who will be the next American Idol. There are some people I know who only watch the regional tryouts, then tune in come the last couple weeks. They like the "freak show" aspect and the final competition. Each year my wife and I watch religiously and laugh, shake our heads, and sometimes even cry with the rest of America as we watch people "follow their dreams." Our girls watch it the next day on DVR, because it airs too late, but they also love watching.

Far be it from me, especially considering the charmed life I lead, to comment on the dreams and goals of others; however, why do people come in and say "Everyone at work tells me I am a great singer." Is it their need to have 15 minutes of fame, even if it is to be ridiculed? Is negative attention better than no attention at all? People show up with their families supporting them. Are they asking Simon to do their job by telling their loved one - on national TV - that they are dreadful? Or are people being cruel and setting their "friends" up for failure (One would hope people wouldn't be that cruel)

It all right to not be great at everything. When we would play hockey at Lurker Park as kids, I would always volunteer to play goalie. I wasn't goalie because I wanted to wear the gear (although that was cool), or I wanted people slapping hard pieces of rubber at my privates. I played goalie because I was and continue to be a pretty poor skater. It was all right that I wasn't going to score a goal. Sometimes there would be someone who was a great goalie or a worse skater, and I would play defense. So what. I still had fun with my friends and enjoyed the camaraderie of playing in the game. There are things I do excel at, skating just is not one of them.

The same goes for our children. It is all right to have them participate in an activity and be mediocre. They will eventually find something they are passionate about and excel at.

"But Randy, the people who are going on American Idol are passionate about music and singing." I hear ya. However, because they are passionate about something does not necessarily mean that they are any good. Telling them they are will not necessarily be the best thing for their self-esteem. Sometimes it is easier to tell someone a private piece of truth, instead of stringing them along and having their false sense of ability.

This is Simon's last year on the show (so he says). So he won't be there to deliver unpleasant news =)

Telling the truth in a caring and tactful way may be what is best for your friends and loved ones; however, it may ruin America's favorite show. So what? A healthy, honest sense of self is more important than positive Neilsen Ratings any day.