Lessons from Oz

I had an interesting conversation last night with a man who is trying to develop an educational program that promotes the progress and impact that urban centers of our country have had on the America we live in today. I found it both inspiring and thought provoking. The 90 minute conversation seemed to go by in a blink.

The conversation led me to discuss with him my views on courage. When I think of the word "courage", it is hard to not have one of my top three favorite movies of all time, The Wizard of Oz, pop into my mind. In addition to the music and story, I always appreciated the characters and how each of us has a little bit of the Scarecrow, Tin Man, Lion, and even Dorothy and Wizard in us.

We sometimes act without thinking - not following our hearts, but conforming out of fear of the expectations of others, while hiding behind a mask as we search for an ideal that doesn't really exist. How's that for a mouthful of an amalgamation of the Oz characters?

As outlandish as it sounds, most of us either unconsciously, or through fear, have become programmed to do just that.

How many of us do things because "We have to," or "It is how we've always done it," or "It is what is expected of me?" We use the word "tradition" to justify our inability to do what we really want to do. We place guilt on ourselves if we don't conform, and in the long run, we spend another day just going along with the crowd. . . .unfulfilled.

If we used our BRAINS to recognize that living up to other's expectations is not what is truly in our HEARTS, then we would have the COURAGE to be our own person and not hide behind the MASK of conformity, and truly have our "HEART'S DESIRE."

The extraordinary people we admire did/do just that. They became EXTRA-ORDINARY because they had the courage to follow their own dreams, while having a strong sense of self (high self-esteem), they controlled their experiences and their lives, and they did not settle for outcomes that were not in alignment with their vision.

I am not recommending that we shirk our responsibilities to our children, our businesses, or communities. However, I am saying that we can be responsible individuals while making sure that our own needs are being met.

There is nothing sadder to me than the countless women I have spoken to who feel they lost their identity when they became mothers, or the men who continue to go to a miserable job, eight-plus hours a day, like drones in the great anthill or beehive of life. These people live their lives for others without thinking of their own needs, and how meeting these needs might positively impact every aspect of their lives. It takes great planning (intellect - BRAINS), HEART, and COURAGE, to maintain your commitment to your family, business, or community, while making your own contentment a priority.

When you do that, your make your place within those three areas stronger and your contribution becomes more rewarding to you and everyone around you. I am fortunate that I have a wife that not only broke herself out of her feelings of being marginalized (losing her identity), but she had the COURAGE to encourage me to leave the safety of public education to pursue this crazy life I currently live. She is a wonderful role model for our two daughters. I can tell you (as would she) that our life at times is a rollercoaster; however, throughout the struggles, we know that we are fighting our own battles, our own wars, and setting an example to our children that ANYTHING is possible if you have the COURAGE to dream.

What would happen if you did what you wanted to do? What would happen if you had the COURAGE to not conform? What would happen if you didn't feel guilty for "indulging" yourselves in something that would make you happy?

Well. . . . You might just be happy.

Connecting With Others - Video Included

I read in the paper today a quote from Football legend Vince Lombardi. It read:

"People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or problems of modern society."

For us to effectively work together to solve the issues that weigh heavy on our hearts and minds, we need to learn how to communicate effectively. I will cover this more in the following video blog.

In this week's video blog, I discussed the importance of communicating effectively. Communicating properly is not unlike a race track. Information travels from individual to individual, hopefully taking a pitstop in the receiver's brain before continuing along the path (track) of communication. If the information does not stop for a "once-over' and possible quick tire change, the communication will fail to be effective. For those of you who are visual learners, here is a visual of what I mean:

Additionally, we need to appreciate the unique perspectives of others and realize that perception is fact to the person who is perceiving it. Once we realize that, and take a moment to re-examine how our words and actions might effect someone with a different vantage point or perception, we will become more sensitive to the needs of others, and in turn a better communicator, motivator, leader, companion, spouse, parent, or friend.

The Religion of Niceness

I was raised Roman Catholic by a mother who went to a Catholic elementary school, who would go to mass every day during lent, and who made sure that we did not miss a week of mass - even if we were on vacation in Disney World! The term "Catholic Guilt," while overused, if not cliched, was and still is alive and well.

As my wife and I raise our children, like most parents, we begin to analyze and question the traditions, actions, and dogma attached to our own childhood. We were raised in different neighborhoods, by different parents, with different sets of priorities. Neither one of us would call our childhoods perfect, nor would we call them bad. They were what they were and we have been molded into adults as a result. So now two people with two different upbringings are to come together to create and raise a new family, with a unique set of experiences born from the support or disdain for the way our parents raised us.

What we did have in common was an indoctrination of kindness. The lesson of treat others nicely, fairly, and honestly.

My mom would call this being a "Good Christian" Really she meant a "Good Catholic." I call it being a good human being.

I currently have, or have had in the past, co-workers, acquaintances, and friends who were/are Catholic, Buddhist, Hindu, Lutheran, Muslim, Protestant, Episcopalian, Greek Orthodox, Jewish, Born Again, . . . etc. I also have/had those in my life who were/are Agnostic and/or Atheist.

What is funny to me, is you never hear people referred to as "Good Buddists," "Good Jews," or "Good Atheists." Christians LOVE to say that they are "Being Christian." What does that mean?

My younger daughter is about to receive her First Holy Communion. She has been going to CCD (Church School) for a couple years to lead up to this event. With all the PG-13 action that happens in the bible, chances are she really does not understand what her faith is based on. She just wants to "Get the wafer." I view this event as a rite of passage for her, for she will be able to fully participate in the mass. Another sign of our baby growing up, but I'm not feeling the "rush" my mother is regarding this event.

The amount of meetings I have attended leading up to this really brings me to question the entire process. My mother feels you "Have to believe in something, otherwise what is the point of this life. God put you on this Earth so you can earn your place in Heaven." EARN my place in Heaven.?

COME ON!!!

The woman who runs the CCD program told the children that they can be friends with Jesus again, once they went to confession. Because a seven-year-old might have been sassy to her sister (which she can be) or to her parents (which she isn't) Jesus is not her friend right now?

COME ON!!!

My father says that you need to go to church because Jesus gave his life and the least you could do is give him one hour a week. My dad is known to fall asleep during the homily (sermon). I can nap in my living room just the same. You are not suddenly a good person because you go to church. It doesn't make you a "Better Catholic" because you go to church. I used to sit with people in church who are now in jail for extortion, murder, drugs, and so-called organized crime. Are they suddenly "Good Catholics" because they went to church and put some cash in the collection box? Are they "Better Catholics" than me because they went to church in between not-so-nice activities?

COME ON!!!

There are other stories of blind faith and the silly man-made rules that go along with organized religion that I have recently dealt with, but I think you get the point I'm getting to.

Some Others' Thoughts on Religion:

Edgar Allen Poe: “All religion, my friend, is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry”

Thomas Jefferson: "Religions are all alike -- founded upon fables and mythologies"

Jesse Ventura: “Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers.”

I am not as bold as those men to subscribe to such damning of one's beliefs. I have a good friend who is a devout Christian (NOT Catholic) who finds great solace in the sense of community his church brings him. His church does not have the rules and rituals found in the faiths of the Catholics, Muslims, Jews, or Greek Orthodox, etc. It is a place where he meets with like-minded "GOOD" people who care about the welfare of others. They do it in the name of Jesus Christ, which is what seems to binds them. I used to attend meetings about THomas Edison regarding innovation and education. Thomas Edison was what bound us. My friend is a GOOD person who cares about others. Being there makes him feel good. Anything that make you feel complete, that does not do you nor another individual harm, is alright by me. However, wars are waged, and prejudice abounds in the name of God. It is GOD's fault we go to war or slander our neighbor . . .?

COME ON!!!

I DO believe in something. That belief is in myself and my loved ones and in perpetuating kindness and love throughout the world. I believe in taking care of our planet, and of encouraging people to follow their passion to make the world and their lives better.

I believe in being A GOOD PERSON. . . . A GOOD HUMAN BEING!! Good to all, regardless of their race, creed, or sex, or sexual preference.

I propose a global religion based on Kindness, or what we call here as THE NICENESS INITIATIVE . . . . just BE NICE!

I don't know if there is a life after the one we have right now, I am only certain that at this moment in time I am keying into my MacBook in sunny New Jersey on an Earth that I have inhabited for the past 42 years. I am in NO rush to see if my mom or anyone's mom who subscribes to the fear and superstitions associated with religion are correct. I support stem cells, and hope that they allow me to live to be 250 years old. If there is a heaven, I'd imagine that after 250 years, my wife would become an instant saint, if she hasn't already.

If there is a heaven, I will apologize to God, and he will forgive me, because I was told that is what he does. =) If I've lived a good life, he will forgive my lack of faith founded in my need for concrete proof. I will have it, I will apologize, he will forgive me, and I'll get myself a new Mac and blog about it - I am SURE, if there is a God, he/she uses a Mac. . . =)

AMEN. . . . Ooops, I mean. . . THE END. . . =)

Say "Adios" to save schools

Everyone in NJ is talking about their concerns regarding Governor Chris Christie's budget, its impact on education, and in turn our homeowner's taxes. I am not one who voted for Christie, nor do I seem to be a big fan of his delivery and many political views; however, as a former member of the "business" of public education, I agree that something needs to be done. YES, it is a business, and I believe we need to start treating it like one instead of a public service or municipal service. I am not saying that the police, public works, town halls, and fire departments should not be viewed as businesses, but today I am only commenting on the statewide uproar by parents, teachers, and administrators with regards to the impending budget difficulties.

Those of you who have been loyal readers and have provided me with AWESOME feedback, (both critical and supportive) probably expect that I believe I have the solution. I don't think it is as drastic as making Wyoming the "Welfare State," but it is dramatic.

There is a lot of waste in education, and I find that there are three areas that could help district get through there budget woes. These fixes are long-term, moderately timed, and short-term in nature.

Long-Term fix - ABOLISH TENURE: In what other industry are people guaranteed jobs after three years and one day? The removal of a tenured employee can cost a district hundreds of thousands of dollars. As a result, most districts will hide an ineffective tenured teacher instead of doing what is right by children and replacing them with a more dynamic and usually less expensive replacement. I liken it to a professional baseball. In their prime, superstars like Bernie Williams made $15 million a year. As he aged and it came time to resign him, he was offered a dramatically different deal that was appropriate for his deteriorating skills. He chose to go home and start a new career as a jazz guitarist.

I believe that teachers should not get an automatic raise and get paid more because they have seniority. Those who continue to excite children, develop innovative instructional models, and continue to improve on their abilities as a teacher, should get the higher salary. I will dedicate a later blog to the life-cycle of a teacher, but for now I will say - TENURE BREEDS MEDIOCRITY. Why pay for mediocrity? Pay a teacher what he/she is worth, not some bloated salary earned through the marking of time, not the inspiring of children. When they fail to inspire children, they should go find their own careers as "jazz guitarists."

This doesn't have to be a long-term fix, however, the unions will make this type of real reform difficult. Proving that they have lost sight of the purpose of education. Education was intended to prepare our children, not offer paychecks to burned-out teachers (most of whom are the local union officers).

Moderately-timed Fix - Regionalize Small Districts: The amount of money spent on the management/administration of a school district is staggering. The bloated salaries of a superintendent, assistant superintendents, business administrators, and in some cases human resource directors are insane. Add to that the assistants that they have and the budgets required to maintain their nicely furnished offices, lunch meetings, etc. There are small K-8 districts and there are small regional high school districts, that each have central offices. Each are duplicating budgetary numbers - taxpayers' funds. As a student I was part of the big city model of Newark, as well as the regional model of East Hanover/Hanover Park Regional. Currently, we live in a K-12 district, which we purposefully were looking for. One district, managing 8 schools, from K-12.

In a K-12 district, your curriculum, administrative staffing, and tax dollars go to one articulated program that directs the learning and development of its students throughout their pre-secondary education. In the Hanover Park Regional District, which is made up of two high schools, it is fed by the East Hanover, Florham Park and Whippany/Hanover Twp/Cedar Knolls districts. The high school superintendent is in charge of two (2). . . yes TWO schools, who have principals really managing the buildings. He also has an assistant superintendent and a business administrator, and buildings and grounds department for. . . . . TWO schools. The other districts have the same administrative makeup. Each district is probably spending, and this is a conservative number, an average of $900,000.00 per year. Over the region, that is in excess of 3.6 million. If there was only one crew to handle the region, not only would the curriculum be articulated - which it currently is not - and the high school program would be stronger, but each district would save nearly 700,000.00. That is without considering the reappropriation of the administrative office space back to instructional space in each district. The result, a stronger instructional program and a more fiscally responsible regional district.

Obviously this is the mid-term choice because we would have to figure out who gets to be superintendent, business administrator, etc. It would take a transition period and plan to make it work effectively. By the way, the students (who are the important ones here) wouldn't need a transition period, it would be the fat-cat administrators that would need it - because they do NOTHING quickly. Otherwise, we could realize that savings NOW.

AND NOW. . . THE OVERNIGHT SAVINGS!!

REMOVE WORLD LANGUAGE INSTRUCTION FROM CURRICULUM.

Nothing is more ridiculous to me than forcing students to sit through two, sometimes three years of a world language requirement. How many of us remember any of the Spanish, French, Italian, or German that we learned in high school, and subsequently were forced to take again in college? We probably remember silly phrases that we were taught but not enough to converse with someone in that language.

I do not want to hear that it makes us more culturally responsible or "classy" to study a world language, or that if we don't we will fall behind the rest of the world.

The rest of the world is taking two languages and LEARNING ENGLISH. Do you know why? Because it is OUR native language. It is the International language, proof by the fact that ALL air traffic controllers, worldwide, must know how to speak English.

Why have a world languages department? We can offer extension courses in world languages online for those who are truly interested, and those could be extra-curricular at the expense of the student - proving true interest. Maybe a revenue generator for a district or a savvy start-up.

INSTANTLY you pick up the budgeted numbers of a FULL DEPARTMENT, including the supervisor's bloated salary. With an average of 8 teachers per department and a supervisor, we are looking at a savings of 500,000.00 right there - plus the classroom space, budget for instructional materials, benefits, etc.

Yes, I realize these people lose their jobs. If they are qualified teachers, they can teach at the university level, they can be part of the new industry we just created by getting rid of their departments (online world language institutions), they can get work as interpreters , or they can get re-certified and teach something of worth, like English, Math, or Science.

So I say, stop crying about the budget decrease and say goodbye to tenure, administrative fat, and world languages.. . .or should I say. . . "ADIOS" =)

Won't you be My Neighbor

This week we are going to try something new. Now that I have appeased my business managers by blogging, they now want me to add video to it. So today we will have our first V-Blog. It was kind of fun and didn't take too long to do. If I am going to continue to blog I don't want to spend more than an hour on a particular entry. I decided to forgo the urge to use our high-end production facilities, tools, and capabilities and make this more of a guerilla video. I may use my Flip from time to time, but this was recorded and edited right in my MacBook (NO, not a MacBook Pro. . .LOL)

I hope you all enjoy it.



In addition to the video, I would like to recognize Mister Rogers and dispel some of the urban legends about him. To this day, as I re-read his work on child development, and watch his mannerisms on DVD, I am humbled by the peace and earnestness he brought to his craft.

Here are some untruths that people love to bring to my attention (as if they are providing me with trivia I was not aware of. . .LOL )

TATTOOS - NO, Fred Rogers does not wear sweaters because his body is covered in tattoos. The sweaters were handmade by his mother. As a matter of fact, one of them hangs in the Smithsonian. Proof of this tattoo legend can be found in the Documentary - Mister Rogers America's Favorite Neighbor. In the program he is seen doing his daily swim. Clearly NO tattoos.

WAR HERO - Sorry, Fred Rogers went from college, where he was a music major, to working behind the scenes in public television. He later went back to school to become a minister. His church became the living rooms of America in his daily show.

SEXUALITY - Come on now! Because a man is NICE, we question his sexuality? Fred Rogers was a happily married man with two sons. I have had the pleasure of speaking with people who worked with him on a daily basis and they confirm that the niceness you witnessed on TV was not an act - it was authentically Fred Rogers.

DID YOU KNOW?

Fred Rogers single-handedly saved Public Television. It was his testimony in 1969 that melted the cold heart of a cranky Senator. Without him, we may not have had the opportunity to enjoy, not only his program, but the wonderful PBS programs we still watch today. Could you imagine growing up without Sesame Street? It might have happened.

Here is a video of that.

So thank you Mister Rogers for making it all right to be nice, for making it all right to say hello to your neighbors, for saving public television, and for making us all feel special.

Happy Won't You Be My Neighbor Day Everyone.

BTW - Here is the link to the Official Neighbor Day Site:

http://www.fci.org/neighbor/

A Little Help HERE!

I have watched in utter heartbreak the homes of neighbors and friends, the businesses of my own wife and others get destroyed by what now appears to be a surprise hurricane over the past weekend. Last night a reported 200,000 people were still without power and/or were unable to get to their homes, and some people will not be able to even get to their homes until tomorrow. Even with the difficulty they have faced this weekend, this is only the beginning. As the water subsides and streets begin to look normal again, the lives of these people will be far from normal. Water has destroyed their homes and everything in them as well as their businesses and everything associated with them.

So, I am combing through the Internet searching far and wide, and I can't seem to find an outpour of aide for these poor people. Homeless, without food and clothing, possibly without a way to earn a living. . . Oh. . . that's right, we are still helping people in Haiti and Chile. I guess we will have to get in line behind New Orleans. . . Ooops, I forgot, they must be OK because they aren't in the news anymore. . .

Maybe because we aren't a third world country that doesn't have a government with a pot to piss in we are not "Sexy" enough to help. Who wants to help those who are from Wayne, Pompton Lakes, Fairfield, Sussex, and the surrounding neighborhoods? They have front lawns and cars and running water and electricity. They have lived in the lap of luxury for years. Maybe it is time that they appreciate what it is like to be impoverished. BOLONEY!!

Our country is in a recession, most of these people are living check to check (If that) and I have seen NOTHING over the past 4-5 days remotely resembling the outpour we had for Haiti. Our governor just obliterated the budget, people are getting laid off, schools are losing money, and now these people are expected to fend for themselves.

So New Jersey is good enough to give you the Sopranos, Jersey Shore, the Cake Boss, the Housewives BS, Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Sinatra, Frankie Valli, etc.. . . With all it has given throughout the years, how about a little bit of appreciation?

Oh I forgot Haiti gave us Wycleff Jean. . .I guess we're even.

I'm waiting to hear from my wife about the damage to her kettlebell gym. She and her partner are going to assess the damages this afternoon.

A sad side note. The NJ homepage mentions nothing regarding helping our neighbors.
I did find this link that leads to a state page. Those who want to help might want to check out here:
http://www.state.nj.us/whattodo.shtml

Getting off the Prairie

As a kid, I was a big fan of Little House on the Prairie. A slow-moving ongoing tale of a time since replaced by big cities, sprawling suburban towns, mini-malls, and the rest of the modern conveniences that makes up the average American community - unless, of course, you are Amish - but then you would not be reading this. . =)

The Ingalls family lived on a farm in Walnut Grove, MN. Their closest neighbor, Mr. Edwards, was a cart ride away, over the hill. To get to the "metropolis" of Mankato, which today is still a hub of the area, but not larger than West Orange, NJ, you needed to take a day's trip to get there. There was a train station there to help you get "somewhere else".

Life for the Ingalls must have been quite solitary. That is probably why they had the three girls and adopted Albert. Back then, the family made up most of the human contact you had. No electricity - tv, radio, etc. You had no next-door neighbors, so you would have to make a real effort to get to know your community members.

I met a man yesterday at a soccer dinner. He is a neighbor of mine. He lives about a block away - maybe 13 houses separate our homes. He and the 13 other families, not to mention the people who live across the street from them all live closer to me than Mr. Edwards lived to the Ingalls. Funny enough, to this neighbor, until recently, I was the guy with the black Prius. I didn't have a name. To me, he didn't exist. I never saw him before, and there was nothing unique about his home (like having the first hybrid in the neighborhood). To me, that is an interesting observation of the modern community?

We go about our daily lives interacting with our families, and not much anyone else. We talk with our neighbors (sometimes) because they are attached to us either by property, or line of site (they live across the street). We have telephones, email, texting, iChatting, and the like. We have no apparent need for our neighbors. We seem to have secluded ourselves in a way that is not unlike the Ingalls; however, we have hundreds of neighbors taking up the farmland that separated them from Mr. Edwards. We, on the other hand, have the power of ignoring. A neighbor drives by, and you are suddenly busy looking at something; you are walking down the street and suddenly there is something very interesting in the trees that your gaze will be fixed on; or as you stroll through the park, you will see people having "important" conversations on their cells. All of this to avoid real human contact with a neighbor. God forbid we make eye-contact, drop out a smile, or say "hello."

As you know, we recently got a new puppy. The puppy will allow me the ticket to reconnect with others in my neighborhood in what the neighbor I met last night called "the butt-sniffing crowd". I allow my dog to sniff the butt of another dog, and my neighbor allows the same. In the meantime, pleasantries are exchanged. No avoidance of contact, looking at the trees, etc. The dogs act as moderators of human contact and interaction.

Maybe, in addition to the family bonding, and forced exercise that having a puppy inspires, it also will allow us an invitation to say hello to our neighbors. I am not suggesting the development of Fred Flinstone/Barney Rubble friendships, I am suggesting, however, the recognition of our neighbors beyond the cars they drive. Otherwise, we are no more connected than Charles and Caroline Ingalls were to the rest of Walnut Grove (probably less).