Happy "New" Year?

Hello Friends,

It is September. New Year for those of the Jewish faith, a new school year for those still obtaining knowledge (I hope that is all of us), and a good time to get back into the swing of blogging.

After a fun summer with the family, even through the continually struggling time in our economy, I feel motivated to continue to stay focused on the important things in life.

I was speaking to an old friend regarding peace and happiness, and thought it would be a good way to look at the "new" year.

It is funny how I have conversations like this, when I myself have no financial success to show.

It might be how my wife and I deal with our "poverty" that draws people to look for our secret to peace and happiness.

My views on this and life are simple.

Speculation, Jealousy and Regret are three wasted mental actions.

You can't control what was, what could have been, and what might never be.

You can only control what IS.

If we continue to spend our days (or interactions/experiences) with the sense of what is and with a view on what has brought us here, then we can better orchestrate our desired results from that day/interaction/experience.

Granted, that end result we are attempting to achieve may not be realistic or (unbeknownst to us) be in the best interest of us and our family (you discover this later in reflection).

There will be results of some sort (or a plan of action), and we need will respond in kind to IT! - not to what we hoped or thought the outcome would be.

Keeping that focus on the REALITY of the situation allows us to maintain control - whereas speculation, jealousy, and regret have us theorizing on uncontrollable situations. Viewing the world in this manner will allow us to stand strong and grow from life's ever passing vignettes.

Waste no time on the "what if I". . ."I should have". . . "They didn't. . . " types of dialogue/monologues.

Instead, say. . ."OK, I am here. My next move is in "THIS" direction (or "these" directions), which may have outcomes of x,y, or z. . . but I won't worry about them until I get there."

The world is not static. It is always in a state of evolution, as are we. It is this reason we do not waste time on Speculation.

Your day will go as it was meant to go. Your performance within it will dictate how you come out of it.

There are no negatives, just backwards positives waiting for a mirror to turn them around.

Breathe, Observe, React authentically, and observe some more.

Someone told me "You have two ears and one mouth. . . listen more. . .talk less. . ."

Good advice, that is difficult to remember at times.

Hope this is helpful, and not too preachy. It is not meant to be.

I won't worry myself over whether or not is was received that way. That would be far to Speculative, and lead me to be regretful. . . =)

Peace,

Randy

How You See Yourself

Happy July 1 everyone. The beginning of a new month and a perfect opportunity to act on the question I asked in my previous entry - "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

I know, a silly question to be asking an adult, but in reality, we are always growing and we are always learning. As I often say, "Every day is a school day." I used to say that to my students when I was a teacher and to my teachers when I was a principal, and I truly believe that you can learn from everyone you come in contact with, regardless of the perceived position he/she or you hold in relation to each other. Each day I learn from my children, and I hope they learn from me =). I still learn from my parents (sometimes how NOT to act, but that is still learning nonetheless).

It is all about having the confidence and strong self-esteem to recognize that you do not have all the answers and that the only person who matters with regards to judging you, is YOU. How you perceive the world and see yourself as a part of it, dictates the way you handle situations, interact with others, and answer questions seemingly as simple as "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Since we continue to grow and evolve, I should rephrase the question to, "Now that you have accomplished _____, what challenge do you want to conquer next?" or "Since the latest outcome in your life has resulted in ________ (losing a job, breaking up with a loved one, earning a new position or coming into a lot of money), what will be the next move you make to make your life richer and therefore richer for those you care about?"

It is all in how you look at things, especially yourself. Edison never failed, he just discovered ways that didn't work to the standard he was hoping. If you are at a crossroad in your life, or a time where you are questioning "What it all means?" then this is the perfect time to answer my question.

When answering it, view yourself how YOU want to be viewed, not how you think others view you. Remember, you are looking back at yourself in the mirror, and your life and actions are a reflection on you and you alone.

Some readers of my blog, as well as advisors of mine, feel that sometimes I am way too serious. Those who know me in life realize that although I am a bit intense and goal driven, I am one of the sillier people around. However, when it comes to living the life you were meant to lead, I find it to be a serious manner, and if viewed that way, you will be able to live the carefree life of a person who is more than pleased with the path his life is taking.

Notice I didn't say "content," for contentment breeds complacency, which will lead you back to the place of "What is it all worth?" Live each day as a challenge to be more fun, more full, and more enriching than the one before and contentment/complacency will never be an issue, because you will be living a truly happy life.

On the subject of how you view things, I came across this FUNNY. . . .yes FUNNY video that effectively demonstrates the idea of perception. Your perception is fact to you, as other's is fact to them. Enjoy this video and begin looking at yourself the way you want other to see you.

I am still waiting for your answer?

Peace,

Randy

P.S. Also, as an artist, I LOVED this person's clever work.

Reinventing Yourself For Survival

Never in our lifetime have we experienced such a scary and "depressing" time in our country's economy. I guess it doesn't take a genius to realize why it was called the "Great Depression" - great in size not in magnitude of coolness.

It is times like these that test the true metal of a person. The ability to stay positive - to maintain a focused course through the turbulence present in the journey of making ends meet. More of are friends, neighbors and family members are unemployed, or fear that they will be the victim of the next set of budget cuts. Our credit card debt is on the rise, and we are trying to maintain a lifestyle that maybe was too rich for our blood to begin with.

So what do we do to combat these feelings of desperation? What do we do to allay the fears that sometimes consume us? How do we position ourselves to survive these storms and hope to rise like the Phoenix from the ashes of economic despair? The answer is more simple than you think, but as scary and exhilarating as anything you have done in your life. The answer is REINVENTION.

Reinventing yourself in a way that not only allows you to ride the current wave of downturned economy to the shore of calm and peace, but in a way that will afford you the ability to live a more authentic life, with true happiness as your ultimate reward.

Now is the time for us to think back at a more innocent time in our lives when adults would ask us "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Think back on what your answers were. Usually those answers were directly linked into your passion and your happiness. Whether it was a baseball player or zookeeper, the innocence of your answers gave insights into your true happiness. You didn't know what kind of salary a zookeeper made, nor did you care. You just cared about how cool it would be to work with exotic animals and maybe help teach others about them.

Now we make decisions based on responsibilities - mortgages, kids, health insurance, etc. and we live our lives working to live instead of living to work. When I look at my life, I say, "You know, I've probably got another 30 years left where I will be productive in the workforce. How do I really want to spend them? Do I want to spend them fighting the battles of others' wars to the betterment of their pockets and dreams, or do I want to fight my own battles?"

If you work for an employer who shares the same ideals and goals as you do, and you couldn't picture yourself doing anything other than what you do, because you LOVE what you are doing, and have always dreamed of doing this when you were a kid, then CONGRATULATIONS. You are living an enriched and authentic life. If not, then it is time for you to look in the mirror and say, "What do I really want to do with the rest of my life?" What legacy will I leave my children, when they think of me as a parent and as a person? What actions can I take to change my quality of life so when I wake up on Monday morning, I spring into action because your life is fueled by positive uplifting experiences?

I am not telling you to go out and change your life tomorrow - quitting your job and start backpacking across America. I am asking you to be honest with yourself, your spouse, your family, and your friends, and share with them what would truly make you happy. After you have established that, then as a community of loved ones, each of you support each other to attain the lives of true contentment, enrichment, and happiness.

I am very lucky that I have a wife who is following her passion as a Kettlebell instructor. She gets a charge out of being healthy and helping others become more healthy. It is a true labor of love. I am even more lucky because I have a wife who supports me in my pursuit to become the "Next Walt Disney . . . .or as I like to say it. . . the First Randy Rossilli, Jr."

The economy has not been our friend; however, we wake up each day invigorated by the experiences we will be having and the quality of life our career choices have provided our children. When we go to sleep at night, we are aware of the the struggles we have fought through and those that lie ahead, but they are struggles that we are wrestling with on our own terms for our own rewards.

So I ask you today to make a pledge not to work to live, but live to work. When put that way, it is more like what one of my idols, Thomas Edison said - "I never worked a day in my life, it was all fun." You will never work another day in your life, you will experience your life to its fullest, and in turn, positively impact the quality of life of everyone around you.

I have more to say on the topic, but will reserve that for another time. A time at which I hope you have taken some time to figure out:

"What you want to be, when YOU grow up?"

Getting Social In Schools?

Social networking. . .are you hip to it? Are you someone who got in early on the MySpace craze, did you just start Facebooking, Tweeting. . . are you LinkedIn? It seems like everyone is doing it. . . Moms, Dads, grandparents, kids. . . everyone is staying "connected" using some form of social networking.

It has worked great for me for both personal and professional reasons. It has reconnected me with friends from years ago, it keeps me connected with my current friends and family members, it connects me with people who have similar interests, it allows me to make announcements regarding new projects, properties and advances we have made at Nightstand Creations, and it has even reconnected me with a legion of "new" friends, who were a major part of my life some 15 years ago - who make me feel both proud and a little bit old. That legion is made up of former students of mine, who have now grown and become adults. . . parents. . . active contributors to society. =) I love this reconnection and enjoy their energy. It is great knowing where they came from and seeing how they have evolved.

One former student is really embracing this social media . . "craze?" kind of old to be a craze still, it is kind of now its own thing.

He asked the question in his blog about the idea of social media becoming a curriculum.

As someone who knows a little bit about how educational models evolve, I think we are still about 5+ years away from the adoption of social networking as a classroom tool. It could and should be implemented today as a way of extending the intruction beyond the classroom, and inviting parents and caretakers into the instuctional process. That notion has always been a littel scarey to the teacher, whose pride keeps their classrooms as closed as possible.

The Internet in schools is approximately 15 years old, and schools are just adopting policies that require teachers to maintain regularly updated websites. Social networking is 5 years old. Technology is more readily used by teachers, so I will give the benefit of the doubt to my former colleagues and say that it won't take 15 years to adopt the new technology, this time it will take them only 10. =)

Then again, it won't be "new" any longer, which still falls into the mold of the beauracracy-driven education industry will be last to the game, instead of first or second. . . . which our children and nation deserves.

I Wish I thought of This

I am a big fan of those in the industry that create similar products to mine, as well as those who create innovative ways of educating and inspiring. My appreciation for this never includes jealousy, because I feel jealousy is wasted energy (topic for a future blog). That being said, it is rare that I come across a unique idea that I say to myself "I wish I thought of that!" Usually my reaction is, "Oh that's cool. . . .How clever. . .etc." However, something came to my attention twice in the past week that I want to share with you, and I wish I had thought of. It is called StoryCorps.

StoryCorps is a project that allows people to come into a specially designed location to tell their story and have it captured in their own voice. It captures the story of America, from the common person's point of view. I used to love sitting with my grandparents and hear the stories of their childhood - their first exposures to innovations and times in our history that they lived through. Just like we all have stories regarding 9-11, and generations before me have those of JFK's assassination, or my grandparents had of Pearl Harbor, America's history is most uniquely told from the perspective of Americans who lived it. History books tell the facts and introduce major contributors of events through time, but the real story comes from those who lived through them.

I am often disappointed that I never had an opportunity to sit with my grandparents or my aunt Noreen to get the full story of my family down on video. Today, the Internet, and services like this, allow us to keep a journal of our life, experiences, and opinions. Maybe future generations will be able to learn from those of us who were arrogant enough to think our words meant something (or had business managers who kept poking us to put words out to the world). Maybe someday, my great grandchild will read this post and add a comment on the bottom.

In the meantime, I encourage you to go to the StoryCorps website and check out what they are all about. I also encourage you to spend time with the older generations in your families and find out what they truly thought about events in their lives. I do it all the time, and am so happy I have the memories of my grandparents and their peers, as well as my parents and their generation. It helps me remain grounded in where I have come from and conscious of where I am going, for I will be the history to generations of Rossillis that follow. My wife always teases me about the fact that I always seem to be interviewing people. I do that to get a appreciation for the life others (plus it makes it easier when I am developing charcters for projects. You never know when you might pop up in one of our stories . . .LOL)

The StoryCorp has put together a special book for Mothers. I have read and heard several of the entries online. I was so inspired by them and impressed by the whole project that I will be purchasing copies for the mothers in my life. I recommend you check it out and consider doing the same. I have absolutely no connection to the project, I just thought my readers would appreciate hearing about it.

Although we may live in different parts of the country, and have experienced different trials, challenges, and successes, there are core human values that connect us all. StoryCorps really illustrates that in a way I wish I had thought of! =)

StoryCorps Website: http://www.storycorps.com

5700 Channels and Nothing On.

I have always been a HUGE fan of television as a means of information, entertainment, and education. It is truly my medium of choice for those items. However, it appears that today television is becoming strangely marginalized. We have more channels than ever, with more freedom (thanks to DVRs) as to when we watch. We can also control whether or not we want to subject ourselves to commercials.

With broadband becoming more ubiquitous, and access to video-based information being delivered to our phones, iPods, computers, etc., there seems to be content flying at us from everywhere. You go to ShopRite and there is information broadcast on a flatscreen there as you are waiting for the old woman in front of you to balance her check book after writing a check for $10 worth of groceries. Billboards (like we needed help being distracted when we are driving) are now animated and/or are not only showing movie posters, but movie trailers! Cars are now equipped with video players and Wi-Fi connectivity. I am certain that someone has developed, or will after reading this, a way to have video on demand delivered directly to cars via satellite transmission (like we do with SiriusXM for our radios).

You would think with all of these new opportunities, we would be receiving better programming. I think you would all agree not necessarily. Oh, it's out there, but there has not been an effective way of allowing us to cull through the abyss of content that is being produced, remade, or re-released. Someone should come up with a way for us to find what we want on whatever our viewing device of choice is. For instance, my wife and I LOVED the documentary Life on the Discovery Channel. It is 11 hours worth of television. That is a lot of TV, especially considering the other responsibilities we have in our lives, and the other programs we enjoy. . . .can't miss an episode of "Idol" =) It would be awesome if we could watch it on our iPhones, or on our computers, but not have to pay the premium of doing so. We already have a HUGE cable bill. Shouldn't those services come along with what we already pay? I am sure somewhere in the near future, a service will be made available that will allow us to watch what we want, when we want, where we want. My children wanted to see the movie Karate Kid 3 (We had already seen 1 and 2). It was not available on-Demand, and I do not have an AppleTV (where I can rent right to my TV from my iMac (I know. . . very surprising) In the future, I am certain that someone will create the ability to allow us to have had the instant gratification of viewing that film when we thought of it. It will require some insane negotiations for residuals, profit sharing, IP rights, but someone will come up with this.

Anyway. . .today's vBlog is about the quality of the programming we have available to us. What we fail to realize is that we are in total control of what is broadcasted. The television industry is not a charitable organization. It is a business, all about making money. If nobody is watching, they will lose advertising revenues. . . . . I hope you enjoy it.

Life was so much simpler before cable. 7 Channels. . . . still not much on. . . .but we expected less. . . .

Lessons from Oz

I had an interesting conversation last night with a man who is trying to develop an educational program that promotes the progress and impact that urban centers of our country have had on the America we live in today. I found it both inspiring and thought provoking. The 90 minute conversation seemed to go by in a blink.

The conversation led me to discuss with him my views on courage. When I think of the word "courage", it is hard to not have one of my top three favorite movies of all time, The Wizard of Oz, pop into my mind. In addition to the music and story, I always appreciated the characters and how each of us has a little bit of the Scarecrow, Tin Man, Lion, and even Dorothy and Wizard in us.

We sometimes act without thinking - not following our hearts, but conforming out of fear of the expectations of others, while hiding behind a mask as we search for an ideal that doesn't really exist. How's that for a mouthful of an amalgamation of the Oz characters?

As outlandish as it sounds, most of us either unconsciously, or through fear, have become programmed to do just that.

How many of us do things because "We have to," or "It is how we've always done it," or "It is what is expected of me?" We use the word "tradition" to justify our inability to do what we really want to do. We place guilt on ourselves if we don't conform, and in the long run, we spend another day just going along with the crowd. . . .unfulfilled.

If we used our BRAINS to recognize that living up to other's expectations is not what is truly in our HEARTS, then we would have the COURAGE to be our own person and not hide behind the MASK of conformity, and truly have our "HEART'S DESIRE."

The extraordinary people we admire did/do just that. They became EXTRA-ORDINARY because they had the courage to follow their own dreams, while having a strong sense of self (high self-esteem), they controlled their experiences and their lives, and they did not settle for outcomes that were not in alignment with their vision.

I am not recommending that we shirk our responsibilities to our children, our businesses, or communities. However, I am saying that we can be responsible individuals while making sure that our own needs are being met.

There is nothing sadder to me than the countless women I have spoken to who feel they lost their identity when they became mothers, or the men who continue to go to a miserable job, eight-plus hours a day, like drones in the great anthill or beehive of life. These people live their lives for others without thinking of their own needs, and how meeting these needs might positively impact every aspect of their lives. It takes great planning (intellect - BRAINS), HEART, and COURAGE, to maintain your commitment to your family, business, or community, while making your own contentment a priority.

When you do that, your make your place within those three areas stronger and your contribution becomes more rewarding to you and everyone around you. I am fortunate that I have a wife that not only broke herself out of her feelings of being marginalized (losing her identity), but she had the COURAGE to encourage me to leave the safety of public education to pursue this crazy life I currently live. She is a wonderful role model for our two daughters. I can tell you (as would she) that our life at times is a rollercoaster; however, throughout the struggles, we know that we are fighting our own battles, our own wars, and setting an example to our children that ANYTHING is possible if you have the COURAGE to dream.

What would happen if you did what you wanted to do? What would happen if you had the COURAGE to not conform? What would happen if you didn't feel guilty for "indulging" yourselves in something that would make you happy?

Well. . . . You might just be happy.

Connecting With Others - Video Included

I read in the paper today a quote from Football legend Vince Lombardi. It read:

"People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or problems of modern society."

For us to effectively work together to solve the issues that weigh heavy on our hearts and minds, we need to learn how to communicate effectively. I will cover this more in the following video blog.

In this week's video blog, I discussed the importance of communicating effectively. Communicating properly is not unlike a race track. Information travels from individual to individual, hopefully taking a pitstop in the receiver's brain before continuing along the path (track) of communication. If the information does not stop for a "once-over' and possible quick tire change, the communication will fail to be effective. For those of you who are visual learners, here is a visual of what I mean:

Additionally, we need to appreciate the unique perspectives of others and realize that perception is fact to the person who is perceiving it. Once we realize that, and take a moment to re-examine how our words and actions might effect someone with a different vantage point or perception, we will become more sensitive to the needs of others, and in turn a better communicator, motivator, leader, companion, spouse, parent, or friend.

The Religion of Niceness

I was raised Roman Catholic by a mother who went to a Catholic elementary school, who would go to mass every day during lent, and who made sure that we did not miss a week of mass - even if we were on vacation in Disney World! The term "Catholic Guilt," while overused, if not cliched, was and still is alive and well.

As my wife and I raise our children, like most parents, we begin to analyze and question the traditions, actions, and dogma attached to our own childhood. We were raised in different neighborhoods, by different parents, with different sets of priorities. Neither one of us would call our childhoods perfect, nor would we call them bad. They were what they were and we have been molded into adults as a result. So now two people with two different upbringings are to come together to create and raise a new family, with a unique set of experiences born from the support or disdain for the way our parents raised us.

What we did have in common was an indoctrination of kindness. The lesson of treat others nicely, fairly, and honestly.

My mom would call this being a "Good Christian" Really she meant a "Good Catholic." I call it being a good human being.

I currently have, or have had in the past, co-workers, acquaintances, and friends who were/are Catholic, Buddhist, Hindu, Lutheran, Muslim, Protestant, Episcopalian, Greek Orthodox, Jewish, Born Again, . . . etc. I also have/had those in my life who were/are Agnostic and/or Atheist.

What is funny to me, is you never hear people referred to as "Good Buddists," "Good Jews," or "Good Atheists." Christians LOVE to say that they are "Being Christian." What does that mean?

My younger daughter is about to receive her First Holy Communion. She has been going to CCD (Church School) for a couple years to lead up to this event. With all the PG-13 action that happens in the bible, chances are she really does not understand what her faith is based on. She just wants to "Get the wafer." I view this event as a rite of passage for her, for she will be able to fully participate in the mass. Another sign of our baby growing up, but I'm not feeling the "rush" my mother is regarding this event.

The amount of meetings I have attended leading up to this really brings me to question the entire process. My mother feels you "Have to believe in something, otherwise what is the point of this life. God put you on this Earth so you can earn your place in Heaven." EARN my place in Heaven.?

COME ON!!!

The woman who runs the CCD program told the children that they can be friends with Jesus again, once they went to confession. Because a seven-year-old might have been sassy to her sister (which she can be) or to her parents (which she isn't) Jesus is not her friend right now?

COME ON!!!

My father says that you need to go to church because Jesus gave his life and the least you could do is give him one hour a week. My dad is known to fall asleep during the homily (sermon). I can nap in my living room just the same. You are not suddenly a good person because you go to church. It doesn't make you a "Better Catholic" because you go to church. I used to sit with people in church who are now in jail for extortion, murder, drugs, and so-called organized crime. Are they suddenly "Good Catholics" because they went to church and put some cash in the collection box? Are they "Better Catholics" than me because they went to church in between not-so-nice activities?

COME ON!!!

There are other stories of blind faith and the silly man-made rules that go along with organized religion that I have recently dealt with, but I think you get the point I'm getting to.

Some Others' Thoughts on Religion:

Edgar Allen Poe: “All religion, my friend, is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry”

Thomas Jefferson: "Religions are all alike -- founded upon fables and mythologies"

Jesse Ventura: “Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers.”

I am not as bold as those men to subscribe to such damning of one's beliefs. I have a good friend who is a devout Christian (NOT Catholic) who finds great solace in the sense of community his church brings him. His church does not have the rules and rituals found in the faiths of the Catholics, Muslims, Jews, or Greek Orthodox, etc. It is a place where he meets with like-minded "GOOD" people who care about the welfare of others. They do it in the name of Jesus Christ, which is what seems to binds them. I used to attend meetings about THomas Edison regarding innovation and education. Thomas Edison was what bound us. My friend is a GOOD person who cares about others. Being there makes him feel good. Anything that make you feel complete, that does not do you nor another individual harm, is alright by me. However, wars are waged, and prejudice abounds in the name of God. It is GOD's fault we go to war or slander our neighbor . . .?

COME ON!!!

I DO believe in something. That belief is in myself and my loved ones and in perpetuating kindness and love throughout the world. I believe in taking care of our planet, and of encouraging people to follow their passion to make the world and their lives better.

I believe in being A GOOD PERSON. . . . A GOOD HUMAN BEING!! Good to all, regardless of their race, creed, or sex, or sexual preference.

I propose a global religion based on Kindness, or what we call here as THE NICENESS INITIATIVE . . . . just BE NICE!

I don't know if there is a life after the one we have right now, I am only certain that at this moment in time I am keying into my MacBook in sunny New Jersey on an Earth that I have inhabited for the past 42 years. I am in NO rush to see if my mom or anyone's mom who subscribes to the fear and superstitions associated with religion are correct. I support stem cells, and hope that they allow me to live to be 250 years old. If there is a heaven, I'd imagine that after 250 years, my wife would become an instant saint, if she hasn't already.

If there is a heaven, I will apologize to God, and he will forgive me, because I was told that is what he does. =) If I've lived a good life, he will forgive my lack of faith founded in my need for concrete proof. I will have it, I will apologize, he will forgive me, and I'll get myself a new Mac and blog about it - I am SURE, if there is a God, he/she uses a Mac. . . =)

AMEN. . . . Ooops, I mean. . . THE END. . . =)

Say "Adios" to save schools

Everyone in NJ is talking about their concerns regarding Governor Chris Christie's budget, its impact on education, and in turn our homeowner's taxes. I am not one who voted for Christie, nor do I seem to be a big fan of his delivery and many political views; however, as a former member of the "business" of public education, I agree that something needs to be done. YES, it is a business, and I believe we need to start treating it like one instead of a public service or municipal service. I am not saying that the police, public works, town halls, and fire departments should not be viewed as businesses, but today I am only commenting on the statewide uproar by parents, teachers, and administrators with regards to the impending budget difficulties.

Those of you who have been loyal readers and have provided me with AWESOME feedback, (both critical and supportive) probably expect that I believe I have the solution. I don't think it is as drastic as making Wyoming the "Welfare State," but it is dramatic.

There is a lot of waste in education, and I find that there are three areas that could help district get through there budget woes. These fixes are long-term, moderately timed, and short-term in nature.

Long-Term fix - ABOLISH TENURE: In what other industry are people guaranteed jobs after three years and one day? The removal of a tenured employee can cost a district hundreds of thousands of dollars. As a result, most districts will hide an ineffective tenured teacher instead of doing what is right by children and replacing them with a more dynamic and usually less expensive replacement. I liken it to a professional baseball. In their prime, superstars like Bernie Williams made $15 million a year. As he aged and it came time to resign him, he was offered a dramatically different deal that was appropriate for his deteriorating skills. He chose to go home and start a new career as a jazz guitarist.

I believe that teachers should not get an automatic raise and get paid more because they have seniority. Those who continue to excite children, develop innovative instructional models, and continue to improve on their abilities as a teacher, should get the higher salary. I will dedicate a later blog to the life-cycle of a teacher, but for now I will say - TENURE BREEDS MEDIOCRITY. Why pay for mediocrity? Pay a teacher what he/she is worth, not some bloated salary earned through the marking of time, not the inspiring of children. When they fail to inspire children, they should go find their own careers as "jazz guitarists."

This doesn't have to be a long-term fix, however, the unions will make this type of real reform difficult. Proving that they have lost sight of the purpose of education. Education was intended to prepare our children, not offer paychecks to burned-out teachers (most of whom are the local union officers).

Moderately-timed Fix - Regionalize Small Districts: The amount of money spent on the management/administration of a school district is staggering. The bloated salaries of a superintendent, assistant superintendents, business administrators, and in some cases human resource directors are insane. Add to that the assistants that they have and the budgets required to maintain their nicely furnished offices, lunch meetings, etc. There are small K-8 districts and there are small regional high school districts, that each have central offices. Each are duplicating budgetary numbers - taxpayers' funds. As a student I was part of the big city model of Newark, as well as the regional model of East Hanover/Hanover Park Regional. Currently, we live in a K-12 district, which we purposefully were looking for. One district, managing 8 schools, from K-12.

In a K-12 district, your curriculum, administrative staffing, and tax dollars go to one articulated program that directs the learning and development of its students throughout their pre-secondary education. In the Hanover Park Regional District, which is made up of two high schools, it is fed by the East Hanover, Florham Park and Whippany/Hanover Twp/Cedar Knolls districts. The high school superintendent is in charge of two (2). . . yes TWO schools, who have principals really managing the buildings. He also has an assistant superintendent and a business administrator, and buildings and grounds department for. . . . . TWO schools. The other districts have the same administrative makeup. Each district is probably spending, and this is a conservative number, an average of $900,000.00 per year. Over the region, that is in excess of 3.6 million. If there was only one crew to handle the region, not only would the curriculum be articulated - which it currently is not - and the high school program would be stronger, but each district would save nearly 700,000.00. That is without considering the reappropriation of the administrative office space back to instructional space in each district. The result, a stronger instructional program and a more fiscally responsible regional district.

Obviously this is the mid-term choice because we would have to figure out who gets to be superintendent, business administrator, etc. It would take a transition period and plan to make it work effectively. By the way, the students (who are the important ones here) wouldn't need a transition period, it would be the fat-cat administrators that would need it - because they do NOTHING quickly. Otherwise, we could realize that savings NOW.

AND NOW. . . THE OVERNIGHT SAVINGS!!

REMOVE WORLD LANGUAGE INSTRUCTION FROM CURRICULUM.

Nothing is more ridiculous to me than forcing students to sit through two, sometimes three years of a world language requirement. How many of us remember any of the Spanish, French, Italian, or German that we learned in high school, and subsequently were forced to take again in college? We probably remember silly phrases that we were taught but not enough to converse with someone in that language.

I do not want to hear that it makes us more culturally responsible or "classy" to study a world language, or that if we don't we will fall behind the rest of the world.

The rest of the world is taking two languages and LEARNING ENGLISH. Do you know why? Because it is OUR native language. It is the International language, proof by the fact that ALL air traffic controllers, worldwide, must know how to speak English.

Why have a world languages department? We can offer extension courses in world languages online for those who are truly interested, and those could be extra-curricular at the expense of the student - proving true interest. Maybe a revenue generator for a district or a savvy start-up.

INSTANTLY you pick up the budgeted numbers of a FULL DEPARTMENT, including the supervisor's bloated salary. With an average of 8 teachers per department and a supervisor, we are looking at a savings of 500,000.00 right there - plus the classroom space, budget for instructional materials, benefits, etc.

Yes, I realize these people lose their jobs. If they are qualified teachers, they can teach at the university level, they can be part of the new industry we just created by getting rid of their departments (online world language institutions), they can get work as interpreters , or they can get re-certified and teach something of worth, like English, Math, or Science.

So I say, stop crying about the budget decrease and say goodbye to tenure, administrative fat, and world languages.. . .or should I say. . . "ADIOS" =)

Won't you be My Neighbor

This week we are going to try something new. Now that I have appeased my business managers by blogging, they now want me to add video to it. So today we will have our first V-Blog. It was kind of fun and didn't take too long to do. If I am going to continue to blog I don't want to spend more than an hour on a particular entry. I decided to forgo the urge to use our high-end production facilities, tools, and capabilities and make this more of a guerilla video. I may use my Flip from time to time, but this was recorded and edited right in my MacBook (NO, not a MacBook Pro. . .LOL)

I hope you all enjoy it.



In addition to the video, I would like to recognize Mister Rogers and dispel some of the urban legends about him. To this day, as I re-read his work on child development, and watch his mannerisms on DVD, I am humbled by the peace and earnestness he brought to his craft.

Here are some untruths that people love to bring to my attention (as if they are providing me with trivia I was not aware of. . .LOL )

TATTOOS - NO, Fred Rogers does not wear sweaters because his body is covered in tattoos. The sweaters were handmade by his mother. As a matter of fact, one of them hangs in the Smithsonian. Proof of this tattoo legend can be found in the Documentary - Mister Rogers America's Favorite Neighbor. In the program he is seen doing his daily swim. Clearly NO tattoos.

WAR HERO - Sorry, Fred Rogers went from college, where he was a music major, to working behind the scenes in public television. He later went back to school to become a minister. His church became the living rooms of America in his daily show.

SEXUALITY - Come on now! Because a man is NICE, we question his sexuality? Fred Rogers was a happily married man with two sons. I have had the pleasure of speaking with people who worked with him on a daily basis and they confirm that the niceness you witnessed on TV was not an act - it was authentically Fred Rogers.

DID YOU KNOW?

Fred Rogers single-handedly saved Public Television. It was his testimony in 1969 that melted the cold heart of a cranky Senator. Without him, we may not have had the opportunity to enjoy, not only his program, but the wonderful PBS programs we still watch today. Could you imagine growing up without Sesame Street? It might have happened.

Here is a video of that.

So thank you Mister Rogers for making it all right to be nice, for making it all right to say hello to your neighbors, for saving public television, and for making us all feel special.

Happy Won't You Be My Neighbor Day Everyone.

BTW - Here is the link to the Official Neighbor Day Site:

http://www.fci.org/neighbor/

A Little Help HERE!

I have watched in utter heartbreak the homes of neighbors and friends, the businesses of my own wife and others get destroyed by what now appears to be a surprise hurricane over the past weekend. Last night a reported 200,000 people were still without power and/or were unable to get to their homes, and some people will not be able to even get to their homes until tomorrow. Even with the difficulty they have faced this weekend, this is only the beginning. As the water subsides and streets begin to look normal again, the lives of these people will be far from normal. Water has destroyed their homes and everything in them as well as their businesses and everything associated with them.

So, I am combing through the Internet searching far and wide, and I can't seem to find an outpour of aide for these poor people. Homeless, without food and clothing, possibly without a way to earn a living. . . Oh. . . that's right, we are still helping people in Haiti and Chile. I guess we will have to get in line behind New Orleans. . . Ooops, I forgot, they must be OK because they aren't in the news anymore. . .

Maybe because we aren't a third world country that doesn't have a government with a pot to piss in we are not "Sexy" enough to help. Who wants to help those who are from Wayne, Pompton Lakes, Fairfield, Sussex, and the surrounding neighborhoods? They have front lawns and cars and running water and electricity. They have lived in the lap of luxury for years. Maybe it is time that they appreciate what it is like to be impoverished. BOLONEY!!

Our country is in a recession, most of these people are living check to check (If that) and I have seen NOTHING over the past 4-5 days remotely resembling the outpour we had for Haiti. Our governor just obliterated the budget, people are getting laid off, schools are losing money, and now these people are expected to fend for themselves.

So New Jersey is good enough to give you the Sopranos, Jersey Shore, the Cake Boss, the Housewives BS, Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Sinatra, Frankie Valli, etc.. . . With all it has given throughout the years, how about a little bit of appreciation?

Oh I forgot Haiti gave us Wycleff Jean. . .I guess we're even.

I'm waiting to hear from my wife about the damage to her kettlebell gym. She and her partner are going to assess the damages this afternoon.

A sad side note. The NJ homepage mentions nothing regarding helping our neighbors.
I did find this link that leads to a state page. Those who want to help might want to check out here:
http://www.state.nj.us/whattodo.shtml

Getting off the Prairie

As a kid, I was a big fan of Little House on the Prairie. A slow-moving ongoing tale of a time since replaced by big cities, sprawling suburban towns, mini-malls, and the rest of the modern conveniences that makes up the average American community - unless, of course, you are Amish - but then you would not be reading this. . =)

The Ingalls family lived on a farm in Walnut Grove, MN. Their closest neighbor, Mr. Edwards, was a cart ride away, over the hill. To get to the "metropolis" of Mankato, which today is still a hub of the area, but not larger than West Orange, NJ, you needed to take a day's trip to get there. There was a train station there to help you get "somewhere else".

Life for the Ingalls must have been quite solitary. That is probably why they had the three girls and adopted Albert. Back then, the family made up most of the human contact you had. No electricity - tv, radio, etc. You had no next-door neighbors, so you would have to make a real effort to get to know your community members.

I met a man yesterday at a soccer dinner. He is a neighbor of mine. He lives about a block away - maybe 13 houses separate our homes. He and the 13 other families, not to mention the people who live across the street from them all live closer to me than Mr. Edwards lived to the Ingalls. Funny enough, to this neighbor, until recently, I was the guy with the black Prius. I didn't have a name. To me, he didn't exist. I never saw him before, and there was nothing unique about his home (like having the first hybrid in the neighborhood). To me, that is an interesting observation of the modern community?

We go about our daily lives interacting with our families, and not much anyone else. We talk with our neighbors (sometimes) because they are attached to us either by property, or line of site (they live across the street). We have telephones, email, texting, iChatting, and the like. We have no apparent need for our neighbors. We seem to have secluded ourselves in a way that is not unlike the Ingalls; however, we have hundreds of neighbors taking up the farmland that separated them from Mr. Edwards. We, on the other hand, have the power of ignoring. A neighbor drives by, and you are suddenly busy looking at something; you are walking down the street and suddenly there is something very interesting in the trees that your gaze will be fixed on; or as you stroll through the park, you will see people having "important" conversations on their cells. All of this to avoid real human contact with a neighbor. God forbid we make eye-contact, drop out a smile, or say "hello."

As you know, we recently got a new puppy. The puppy will allow me the ticket to reconnect with others in my neighborhood in what the neighbor I met last night called "the butt-sniffing crowd". I allow my dog to sniff the butt of another dog, and my neighbor allows the same. In the meantime, pleasantries are exchanged. No avoidance of contact, looking at the trees, etc. The dogs act as moderators of human contact and interaction.

Maybe, in addition to the family bonding, and forced exercise that having a puppy inspires, it also will allow us an invitation to say hello to our neighbors. I am not suggesting the development of Fred Flinstone/Barney Rubble friendships, I am suggesting, however, the recognition of our neighbors beyond the cars they drive. Otherwise, we are no more connected than Charles and Caroline Ingalls were to the rest of Walnut Grove (probably less).

The Modern Ghost Town

This weekend we received some sad news that was not all that surprising. Our local Borders Book Store is closing. Not like the closing of Linens and Things (Which forced me to look elsewhere for "things" - who really buys all that much linen?), or the closing of the Rag Shop, where I would buy all of my fabric for building puppets, this is not a chain-wide closing. It is just the one on Rte. 10 in Livingston that is closing. The landlord raised the rent. Could you imagine this, the same landlord who lost a VERY busy Old Navy Store, and a Big Electronics store, was now going to be putting up another vacancy to match the dozens of ones that line Rt. 10 in Livingston and East Hanover, NJ?

Once upon a time, some 25+ years ago, Rt. 10 was not the busy shopping center it was built to become. There were farms, swamps and forests. A store was not as common as a cow. Today, there are more storefronts than trees on Rt. 10, and most of those stores have Vacancy signs.

About 6 months ago I was trying to figure out what project I could do with the awesome Flip Camera I received from my ladies for Fathers Day. At that time, I was helping my wife and her business partner put together their Kettlebell Gym, about 6 miles down the road from my office. I spent an inordinate amount of time driving to their place on Bloomfield Ave., as well as going to the Home Depot on Rt. 10. As I sat at the light where the now CLOSED Gibbs College stood, I could see building after building of empty windows. No life at all. A fan of the western movies, it brought the picture of a ghost town. I was waiting for some tumbleweeds of paperclips to blow across the road from the abandoned Office Max, or some outdated auto stickers from one of the handful of barren auto dealerships to ominously slap into my windshield. The same could be said for the stretch of Bloomfield Ave. from Fairfield to Verona.

At this time (not unlike today), everyone was still talking about unemployment, the economy, the so-called stimulus package that bailed out the rich bankers, who screwed up the first time, but did not encourage them to help the little guy struggling at all. I do not usually write songs that are political at all, although I have MANY political opinions, views, and plans. I produce wholesome family entertainment; however, this scene inspired me differently, and became the first project I would do with my Flip Camera. I wrote and produced a music video titled Ghost Town.

I didn't really do anything with it. I posted it on YouTube for fun, and forgot about it, until this past weekend. After leaving Borders, for probably the last time, the family and I drove down Rt. 10 to see that no progress at all had been made. As a matter of fact, there seemed to be more vacancies than ever. So I decided that I would mourn the death of yet another storefront in our area by sharing the music video with you. The lyrics are below the video in this blog.

I am still seeing new construction going up all over Livingtson and the surrounding towns. What makes people think that these stores are going to be rented, while the others stay vacant?

I once I thought, maybe if the politicians see this, they will figure out how to bring life back to our towns. Well. . . they will if it gets them re-elected. =)

The old saying goes, it is the insane person who continues to do the same thing, the same way, and expects a different outcome. As Susan Powter, the crazy spiky-haired fitness advocate from the late 90s put it - STOP THE INSANITY! I say we knock them all down and bring farming back to our area. I'll take a plot!

ENJOY THE VIDEO

Ghost Town

Words and Music by Randy Rossilli, Jr.

©2009

When you live outside your means

And stretch yourself beyond your reach

You’re setting yourself up to take a mighty fall.

You put your faith in Wall Street

That fake money marketplace.

Where in the blink of an eye you might just lose it all.

Another neighbor just put up a sign they can’t seem to make ends meet.

There but for the grace of God, this could happen to me.

CHORUS:

Now this whole place is ghost town

The bank foreclosed and has shut it down

Empty parking lots and vacancy sign are all I can see.

This whole place is ghost town,

The big box stores have all moved out

All thats left are skeletons and monuments of progress and greed

In this concrete Ghost town

I remember when this town

was full of open fields

Seemed like the grass went on forever.

Now the land is empty again

But cracking concrete all I see

Surrounded by barren black top fields

Who decided we needed another new mini mall.

They want to build it next to the vacant one they had to close last fall.

CHORUS:

Bridge:

So they gave out some stimulus, but to where I can’t tell

The rich keep getting richer and the rest seem bound for. . . Well . . . .

CHORUS

In this concrete, black top, empty shop, dilapidated, ruin filled, overgrown, weeded covered, litter trashed, eco-killin, oil spillin, money bleeding, pollution feedin’ Ghost Town.

Bringing In A New Pet - Part 2

I will title this entry - "Welcome to Insanity"

Well. . . we got our first family puppy. We adopted it from a wonderful shelter in East Hanover, NJ - Mt. Pleasant Animal Shelter. I couldn't recommend them any more confidently or say enough wonderful things about them as an organization. If you want a new pet, call them: njshelter.com. Holly, the name we finally agreed upon - after Billie, Magic, Casey, Mystic, Lucky (for obvious reasons - people should call ME lucky now) and a collection of names recommended by family, friends, and FaceBook friends - was brought in from a high-kill shelter in Maryland.

After her first two days with us, she might have opted for the fate of staying in Maryland =)

To say that our children are a little excited, would be like saying Shaq is a little tall. Between our girls trying to train them like they see Victoria Stilwell do on Animal Planet, the two cats, $100 worth of toys that the kids want to teach her to play with all at once, and two snow days, Holly's first days have been a bit busy to say the least.

If she doesn't develop a twitch, it will be amazing to me.

As I write this, she is snuggling and snoring on

her rainbow bed at the Nightstand Creation offices, worn out and thrilled that the kids are at school.

We have had some luck regarding the cats. Nala hissed at Holly, but kept her claws in, and Simba came by for a little Catnip fix and got within 18 inches of Holly. I am not sure at this time if they will all be buddies, but I can tell you that I feel pretty confident that Holly does not view them as playthings. She whines and howls (I think there is a little hound in her family tree) for ten minutes at night then goes to sleep right away in the crate. The cats are back upstairs with us and are terrorizing our feet as if nothing has changed. With Holly being only 3.5 months old, we are still trying to find a pee-pee rhythm, so we have had a handful of accidents. I am glad we waited to get the new rugs and furniture. All in all, progress is being made and we are loving her more and more every minute.

Today I put her car harness on and belted her into the car to do morning drop off and bring her into the office with me, which will probably be a very common thing. She was awesome in the car and did not get nervous at all. By the end of the trip, she was curled up on the seat and enjoying Barry Manilow's Weekend in New England =)

I know what you are all saying. . .Rainbow bed, Manilow. . . .You are all correct, I'm bringing her up right! Enlightened, and exposed to the finer things. . . Giddyup!

I'll report on her progress again next week sometime. My next blog will be back to the normal randomness of Parenting, Education, Media, and the like.

Until then. . . .Woof. . . I mean, Peace!

Bringing In A New Pet - Part 1

I remember 10 years ago when we brought home our first child, we had to introduce our daughter to our "original child" our shetland sheepdog, Jasmine. I brought home a blanket and hat with the baby's scent on it and snuggled with the 8 year old dog that we had doted on since we got her.

When my wife and daughter were to come home, my wife went in first and spent some time with Jasmine, then I came in with our new baby. Almost instantly, Jasmine became the baby's bodyguard and we had a fairly seamless transition.

Years have passed and Jasmine is no longer with us. We now have two cats (Simba and Nala), a bunny (Josie), and tomorrow we will be bringing home a 4 month old puppy, Holly. Time to call on the experience 10 years ago.

When you are an animal person, you can never have enough animals around you. My family and I are animal people. My wife fosters and rescues small woodland creatures, the girls and I work on a miniature horse farm in our spare times, we have eight different bird feeders in our yard, we hand feed the squirrels on our deck, and we all can't get enough of Animal Planet. Although we all love dogs, and I have been campaigning hard for one for almost two years now, there is that concern of how the 4 year old cats will respond. It was their house first.

So, for the past 3 or 4 weeks I have been combing the Internet looking for the best sites and videos to help with this transition and to ensure that the transition will be successful. I love my cats, but I REALLY want the dog.

Between my wife and I, we have had enough animal experience to make this successful. This will be a wonderful family project, that I think will also make for a good series of blogs to journal our progress. However, I am not naive enough to think that this is going to go as well as it did with the baby and Jasmine. It will take patience, time, and teamwork to make it happen. A fun family challenge.

So this is the introduction of a series of blogs that will follow from time to time, reporting on our progress, our successes, and our attempts that could have gone better - remember, Edison did not believe in failure, just ways things didn't work. =)

Wish us luck and look for future entries of our weekly series "Bringing in a New Pet."

Why my wife puts up with me, is a mystery even Dan Brown, with the help of Holmes and Watson couldn't crack. =)

What's in a name?

The family and I are about to adopt a dog from our local shelter. I have been campaigning for a dog forever. We had Jasmine for 13 years, and after we lost her 4 years ago we went into mourning. We got our 10 year old a bunny (she was 6 then) and five months later we rescued two cats, Simba and Nala. I am no historically a cat guy, but I LOVE my cats. They are quirky and silly, but a cat is not the same thing as a dog.

Anyway, I have been searching for a couple months, and just recently we went as a family to meet a couple dogs. This week, the wonderful people at Mount Pleasant Animal Shelter met my family and interviewed me regarding the type of dog we wanted. The MOST important thing was that the candidate must get along with cats.

I was going into a meeting on Thursday night and my iPhone started barking. It was Jenn from the shelter calling (I gave them their own ringtone - what a nerd). She told me that she had gotten in from a high-kill shelter a couple candidates that met our requirements. I went the following afternoon and wanted to take her home with me instantly. We cat tested her and we tested her with other dogs. Her first tests were passed with flying colors. Afterwards we hung out and she just chilled by my leg for about an hour.

So I went home armed with some digital photos and showed my wife and then the girls. Her shelter name is Fiona, and I wanted to name her Billie - after the invisible dog on the A-Team, but that was meant to be. What followed was an insane obsession by our daughters (I wonder where they get that from? I guess they had to get something from me) trying to rename their prospective new family member.

It was easier naming our daughters.

How about:

Lacy, Dixie, or Trixie: Where's the stripper pole?

Ethel, Millie, Ester, or some other grandma name? =)

Peyton: why not Montana or Favre?

Hershey: Highway or squirts?

PLUS most of us know an Emma, Zoe, Abby, Jessie, Holly, etc. So you don't want people to think you were naming it after them (some might not find it complimentary)

So I decided to put it up on the FaceBook to see what we get back.

Naming your pet is more of a reflection on the family than it is on the dog. I think that what people name their pets says a lot about them. What does your pets' name say about you? Think about it. Did you name it after a favorite cartoon character, flower, month, time of year, ballplayer, . . . ? I find it to be a fun thing to think about as well as to think about those who you are friends and family with.

The Next American Idol

SIMON: So why are you here?

CONTESTANT: I'm the next American Idol

VIEWERS AT HOME: Are you KIDDING ME?

American Idol is a study in Self-esteem. Nowadays, people seem uncomfortable with failure and providing critical feedback (unless they are American Idol judges). I remember distinctly growing up in a household that was fairly critical and competitive, during a time when it was alright to lose. My dad NEVER let me win a game of Candyland, Checkers, Chess, etc. When I played football and baseball the only time you received a trophy was when you won the championship. Growing up in that environment probably made me the competitive person I am today, as well as being very appreciative of times of victory. My daughters' rooms are filled with trophies and ribbons for "Participating" in soccer. My ten-year-old's soccer team did win the league championship two years in a row, and she received a trophy for that; however, she received an additional trophy that the rest of the league also received.

Why participation trophies? Some say, it makes everyone feel good, and like "a winner." I think it is coddling the children and having them lose out on the lesson of sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. There is a lot to be learned from losing. It does not have to feel like failure. It could and should be more like not succeeding. Thomas Edison was quoted as saying, when he was trying to prevent the incandescent lightbuld, "I have not failed, I have just found a thousand ways that don't work." He believed that the experience itself offered lessons that you could draw on in later experiments or experiences.

Back to American Idol

Like the proverbial train wreck, we watch, week in and week out, the regional tryouts to see who will be the next American Idol. There are some people I know who only watch the regional tryouts, then tune in come the last couple weeks. They like the "freak show" aspect and the final competition. Each year my wife and I watch religiously and laugh, shake our heads, and sometimes even cry with the rest of America as we watch people "follow their dreams." Our girls watch it the next day on DVR, because it airs too late, but they also love watching.

Far be it from me, especially considering the charmed life I lead, to comment on the dreams and goals of others; however, why do people come in and say "Everyone at work tells me I am a great singer." Is it their need to have 15 minutes of fame, even if it is to be ridiculed? Is negative attention better than no attention at all? People show up with their families supporting them. Are they asking Simon to do their job by telling their loved one - on national TV - that they are dreadful? Or are people being cruel and setting their "friends" up for failure (One would hope people wouldn't be that cruel)

It all right to not be great at everything. When we would play hockey at Lurker Park as kids, I would always volunteer to play goalie. I wasn't goalie because I wanted to wear the gear (although that was cool), or I wanted people slapping hard pieces of rubber at my privates. I played goalie because I was and continue to be a pretty poor skater. It was all right that I wasn't going to score a goal. Sometimes there would be someone who was a great goalie or a worse skater, and I would play defense. So what. I still had fun with my friends and enjoyed the camaraderie of playing in the game. There are things I do excel at, skating just is not one of them.

The same goes for our children. It is all right to have them participate in an activity and be mediocre. They will eventually find something they are passionate about and excel at.

"But Randy, the people who are going on American Idol are passionate about music and singing." I hear ya. However, because they are passionate about something does not necessarily mean that they are any good. Telling them they are will not necessarily be the best thing for their self-esteem. Sometimes it is easier to tell someone a private piece of truth, instead of stringing them along and having their false sense of ability.

This is Simon's last year on the show (so he says). So he won't be there to deliver unpleasant news =)

Telling the truth in a caring and tactful way may be what is best for your friends and loved ones; however, it may ruin America's favorite show. So what? A healthy, honest sense of self is more important than positive Neilsen Ratings any day.

Fanaticism and Life.

Why did I wake up today in such a "funk?" Probably the same reason I was in a funk when I was brushing my teeth before bed last night. Football. No, I did not play (I haven't put on a helmet in over 22 years, and I hardly ever won back then). My favorite NFL team, which I have been following for over 35 years, just lost the NFC Championship. They lost a GAME, as I sat there in my horns, purple retro-80's- Zubas pants, Vikings boxers, and Vikings jersey - in New Jersey! They just finished playing A GAME, and I was sad.

I didn't lose any money (I don't gamble), nobody near or dear to me died or was hurt, I still had a beautiful wife and two wonderful children, and for a 42 year old, I'm pretty healthy. America is still Free, and I still have a place to go try to make a living. So why does this phenomenon of fandom have such an impact?

As a Vikings fan, I seem to go through this each and every year. I start training camp in the summer all excited and announce that "This is my year!" The season progresses, and on a Monday morning prior to Super Bowl Sunday, I end up going to work or school sad. Today it is raining to add to the melancholy.

Now, I know it is just a game, and that the Vikings or Yankees don't even know I exist, and that they look at it as more than a game, it is their job. That being said, why do we as fans get so emotionally involved?

Before you go on and make a rash assumption, this is NOT a guy thing. The Vikings played my wife's beloved 49ers this year and beat them in the last second of the game, and she had the same funk working for her for a couple days, so this is not gender-specific. (On a side note, how lucky am I, as a football fan, that my bride goes into a funk when her team loses? Too bad she's not a Vikings fan, or she would REALLY be perfect! LOL)

We all go out an buy our licensed apparel, throw pillows, and some really crazy people even get tattoos of their favorite team. We scream at the television, we wait on hold for 45 minutes to get a point across on our favorite sports radio program, we listen to sports-specific satellite radio stations dedicated to our favorite sport, and we start and end our days watching SportsCenter. As I write this, I look in my reflection in my Yankees clock and again ask, "Why"

The world will not be cured of hunger, disease, homelessness, unemployment, and crime if the Yankees win the series or the Vikings win the Super Bowl. I will not be richer (financially) nor will my family be better off. I ask again, "Why all the hype?"

Maybe its our need to be part of something bigger than us in a way that is actually viewable. Something that we can experience and witness firsthand. People tell me they attend church to be part of something bigger than they are, to be part of a community, but there are no licensed apparel for Team Jesus. Following Jesus' career is like following Muhammad Ali's boxing career - he will not be fighting on HBO this weekend, we know he won the "Thrilla in Manila" just like Jesus rose on the third day (depending on your creed - not trying to get religious here, just making a parallel) and Jesus will not be defending his title against Satan again in the spring. The Yankees, however, will have another opening day, another shot at the playoffs, and another shot at being the World Series Champion (for the 28th time).

Maybe it is not unlike those who enter into these fantasy worlds of second-life, Dungeons and Dragons, video games, etc., and use sports as a "fantastic" (Fantasy-based) release from reality. Maybe its the crazy camaraderie we experience connecting us with other people. When you go to a game live, you are high-fiving everyone in your section. For that 3 hours, you are part of a group. . . .you BELONG.

It could be that sense of needing to belong, or living vicariously through the trials of athletes doing what many of us dreamed of when we played wiffle ball in the back yard, or touch football on the street, that attracts us. Whatever it is, it touches us in places that are unique to any other experience in our lives. Being a fan connects us to the world in an unusual and very safe.

So for a fleeting moment when our team wins we have a rush of what it feels like to be a winner - the thrill of victory, or when they lose, the agony of defeat. However, unlike those athletes who have dedicated their lives to their sport, and have been able to rise to the heights of having fans, we will quickly come back to reality and live our lives without any lasting affects of our victory or our defeat. Back to our lives anonymity.

Maybe, just maybe, we will be inspired by the efforts of these men and women we cheer for, to excel in our own lives to be world-class teachers, parents, writers, doctors, (or whatever we do). Hopefully their efforts and passion will inspire us to become champions in our own lives. Whether its the story of the 40-year-old quarterback defying the odds, or the city whose team's success has helped them heal as a community from Hurricane Katrina -somewhere in the game there are lessons for us to apply to our lives. We only need to look beyond the final score and the "winners/losers" and find them.

Maybe that is the purpose of sports and of fandom. To connect us with others who share a passion for something that can inspire us to rise to heights of world-class performance.

This morning, I will lick the wounds from my team's defeat last night. I will put away my Vikings gear for another year, and go out and try to be the best father, husband, person, American, I can be, inspired by the great efforts these men demonstrated. The lessons of teamwork, fortitude, and community that lie beyond the game.

Maybe next year will be "Our Year" That is the beauty of sports. . . there is always another chance. . . Always a "Next Year."