Remembering Walt

It is funny how birthdays effect people - both their own and those of others. When it is your own birthday, it is usually a time for reflection, goal setting, etc. When it is the birthday of someone else, it can also provide you with opportunities to have the same type of self reflection. I love looking at the newspaper in the "Born Today" section to find out whose birthday it is. . . . Well, nowadays, I do that through an App on my iPhone, but you get the idea. I do that, and see how people on the list made enough of a mark, or impact, to make the list. Sometimes that mark is great, and sometimes it is trivial (actress, actor, who starred in ___)

Today's birthday is one that I keep on my own personal calendar, as I do my relatives and friends. It is the birthday of Walter Elias Disney, who would have been 110 years old today. Next week he will have been dead for 45 years - longer than I have been on this Earth, and he is still a household name.

A picture of him hangs on the wall of my office, and from time to time, I will look at him and the others on my wall and ask "What would they have done?" More times than not, the answer to the question posed towards Mr. Disney would come back with the answer - Whatever HE wanted to do.. . . .Whatever HE thought was best. A valuable lesson and reminder to those of us who struggle with those we come in contact with who are afraid of change, afraid of taking risks, and afraid of being different.

Volumes have been written about Mr. Disney, and I could probably fill several hard drives with what I have read and studied about him and how his life has impacted my decision own making process. Instead of leaving you with my usual long-winded dissertation on the values of "Living like Disney, Edison, Rogers, Henson, Hershey and now Jobs" (Those hanging on my wall of dead advisors. . .LOL), I am going to leave you with only one thing to think about.

Live today like Walt would have - Making decisions for YOUR reasons, not the fear and so-called logic of others. When all is said and done, you will be happier "Winning" or "Losing" doing it your way, rather than because someone else said it was how it should be done. As a matter of fact, living that way, you never "Lose" you just learn a lesson from not being successful.

If we are not successful one day, on our own terms, then we are more apt to get up tomorrow and jump right back in the fray. We will recover from the "loss" knowing we learned from it.

A perfect quote (well, really paraphrase) from Mr. Disney, demonstrating this idea, was placed at the end of the movie Meet the Robinsons. It best demonstrates how Mr. Disney has taught me to deal with not being unsuccessful from time to time. I hope it helps you too.

“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

–Walt Disney

Thanks for visiting

Peace,

Randy

P.S. - It is also Little Richard's Birthday, another pioneer, just not on the wall. . . .LOL

The Golden Rule - Humanity and Business

I've been away from the blog a little while, getting into the groove at my new position in the school, as well as getting the new home of Nightstand Studios ramped up for construction. I felt compelled to write today after a couple irksome interactions with "professionals" that really disappointed me regarding the state of the U.S. workforce., and the lack of Pride (yes. . .that word again) people seem to be taking in their work.

One thing my dad taught me at a young age, while working in his warehouse, and going out on jobs for him, was that we should all do at least a full day's work, offering a fair service for a fair price. He has become very successful in business with that simple set of rules. We talked often about the humanity of business, and how even though I would be installing similar products in their homes or business, these customers and their homes/businesses were all unique. From a rudimentary standpoint, taking my dad's business of floor covering as an example, each person is as unique as the quirky measurements and traffic patterns between my living room carpet and the carpet of my neighbor. Our dimensions might be similar, but our tastes, budget, family activities, and decorating sense are all different, making a common service - installing a living room carpet - unique.

That translates perfectly into my daily life as an educator, businessman, and human being. I believe we should deal with each customer/person as if they were a one-of-a-kind project that needs unique attention. Not unlike the craftsman who builds one piece of furniture at a time vs. the mass-produced factory furniture, there is extra attention spent on that single piece that will probably end up in its having a longer life (better durability) and a richer price tag. Custom furniture usually uses better quality materials and more complex assembly, making it a higher valued object, with better quality assurance.

Before I digress too far, my point is not to discuss carpets and furniture. My focus here is on how we deal with our fellow human beings. Whether we want to admit it or not (and I tend to try to not) we all depend on others to get through our days. Whether it is the person pumping our gas, checking out our groceries, delivering our mail, or directing traffic, we need others to care about what they do to make the world move smoothly.

As a principal in a school where every student has an IEP (Individual Education Program), and are sent to us from a public school district to assist them in overcoming their unique issue of being hearing impaired, all of my students are dependent upon adults assigned by their home district, as well within our school, to provide them with appropriate services and care to give them every opportunity to succeed. We view every student as being special, with their own unique set of needs and learning styles. Our teachers and staff are craftsmen. Each student is handled with unique care and attention to detail. What is interesting is monitoring the view of our students from the sending districts. 90% of the Case Managers that send their students to us are caring, compassionate, insightful, professionals, who take time to know the child, the child's family, and the people who are part of their educational program. It is their assistance that allows us to continue to be successful in what we do, and ensures that these students have EVERY opportunity to succeed. There are those, however, who fail to see the humanity in their business, the craftsmanship in their chosen profession, view each student as another product on the assembly line of the public school system, and give the students what the state forces them to comply with and what will cost the district the least amount today (not thinking about how the investment today in quality service would impact the bottom line for years to come). It is that 10% that incenses me - the ones that treat the kids like a liability - like a product they are pushing up the assembly line that will become the next person down the line's responsibility. When you look at people as a dollar sign/liability, instead of someone who NEEDS your expertise to help them, that is when you should question the path you have chose to take. You have one life to live, you should do it in the most rewarding and contributing way possible. This 10% feeds right into one of my previous writing about people "collecting checks instead of earning them."

This 10% doesn't only apply to education, it can be witnessed in every profession, every walk of life. I deal with the educational 10% personally, with my colleagues, advocating for the students in our school. What prompted me to write today was NOT education, but the healthcare industry, which we have recently been dealing with as my mother-in-law recovers from major back surgery.

Two weeks ago, after spending two weeks in a rehab facility that we will call "K." Mom lives alone in a small house that is not quite built for a walker or wheelchair. She was still experiencing great pain, and her pain management had not been fully normalized. The Social worker at K came in and told her that because she had been making such great progress, that she was going to be sent home in three days - even though she still had the insurance and funds for an additional 20 days. She CLEARLY was not medically, nor personally ready to go home, and her house still needed to be equipped with assistive devices to ensure her safety. All the Social worker knew was that she was able to stand and use a walker for a certain amount of feet, so she was ready to go. They "needed her bed." She did not view mom as a unique case, taking into consideration her health/medication issues or her home needs. She prescribed her a visiting nurse for a couple days a week (with a list of stipulations attached to that service) and sent her on her way.

Two days later, Mom is throwing up violently, unable to keep her meds or food down, and is dehydrated to a state of desperation. The visiting nurse rushes her to the hospital, where she is kept for observation for three days, then for treatment another three days. She has since been re-released to a different rehab facility, where we are happy to say she is well taken care of, and healing nicely. We saw her stand and walk yesterday, looking better than she has in probably a year. The people at Valley Hospital in Ridgewood, NJ and now Care One in Hackensack, NJ did not view mom as a product on the assembly line. They treated her like fine craftsmen, taking time to ensure that she was put together properly.

It is that 10% that prompts people to make blanket statements like "You know what's wrong with education, (healthcare, telecommunications, ------place your industry here)?" That 10% ruins it for the 90% of us who do care. The 90% of us who see humanity in all we do. The 90% of us who follow the Golden Rule, and treat others the way we would like to be treated.

I hope you strive to be part of the 90% and lower that 10% number. Imagine how we could change the world if we treated others the way we wanted to be treated. . . . . . .Simple solution, with infinitely powerful ramifications.

Thanks for visiting.

Peace,

Randy

Pride - Part 2 Wedded Bliss

Saturday is my wife's and my 16th wedding anniversary. It is amazing to reflect on the evolution that has occurred both individually and as a couple over these years. Growth, however, usually entails a bit of stretching, discomfort, displacement, and pain. In a marriage, these growing pains usually reveal themselves in disagreements, differing of opinions, contention. . . . OK, OK. . . I'll say it. . . .ARGUMENTS!! For years, I would tell people that my wife and I NEVER fought, NEVER argued. Not because I wanted to portray us as "the perfect couple" (which in jest I do in social situations - part of our Schtick), but because I always viewed the word "argument" or "fighting" as being something of much larger proportions - stuff being thrown, doors being slammed, people storming out, etc. I had said that my wife and I had two or three fights in the history of our relationship, until one day, a friend of ours was over and we had a disagreement.

She said, "Listen guys, don't argue about this. It is not worth the fight."

I promptly said, "we're not arguing"

To which my wife replied "Yes we are!"

To me, it was one of the funnier exchanges in our then 10+ years of marriage. I think my wife would characterize it as being more frustrating. I said, "Oh. . . . THIS is arguing" as I then laughed and totally lost focus of the "argument" which, by the way, was DEFINITELY my fault and a result of. . . you guessed it PRIDE!

More times than not, our "arguments" are a result of wanting to have control. Control is usually perceived as a negative desire in this type of situation. However, control with regards to a marriage is more about identity than it is about wanting to be "the Boss." When you say "I Do," you go from being two separate entities to being one entity made up of two parts. Throughout our lives we continue to fight for our own voice and individuality. Too "proud" to succumb to or surrender any part of ourselves. Sometimes that fight causes friction, which can blossom into a conflict, disagrement. . . OK, OK. . a fight.

Where pride comes into this discussion is in how you perceive yourself within your relationship, and how that manifests itself regarding your view outside of your relationship/marriage. The fear of surrendering yourself to your partner and trusting that in his/her eyes you are still a vibrant INDIVIDUAL will definitely manifest itself in the establishing of that "force field" that I discussed in Part 1. Everyone needs that one person who sees them from inside that field, and loves them in spite of the insecurities, inadequacies, and fears, that the force field has been built to hide or protect. I am fortunate that I have my wife, who after 20+ years of being together, still loves, supports, and respects me, in spite of my laundry list of insecurities and inadequacies.

As you all know, I write this blog never presenting myself as any kind of expert. I write it as a means of putting ideas for discussion out to the world, putting down my force field, and sharing with others that it is alright to not be perfect (although we ALL try so hard to think we can be. . . especially me. . LOL). When we put our pride aside and meet our spouse halfway, it is the most magical experience of synergy imaginable. If you think of all the times you have argued with your spouse, chances are it was because you both wanted to control a situation or decision. Pride steps in and makes you want to be in charge and/or be the dominant INDIVIDUAL, because, if you are in charge, your individuality is not lost.

I submit that marriage does not mean that you lose your individuality. If you can control your pride and allow yourself to compromise a bit, the individual in each of us becomes more vibrant, more noticeable, because it is now also broadcasted or projected through the magnifying lens of the love of your life. I am a bigger personality not only because I am PROUD of my marriage, but also because my wife's love and support magnifies my self worth. She has journeyed to the center of my soul (which is scarier than the center of the Earth) and continues to make me feel complete, and like a more significant person.

My hopes for all of you is that you put your pride aside, allow yourself to experience the scariness of surrendering your soul to another person, and feel the ecstasy of vulnerability. I still struggle with it every day, but when I am able to control my own pride, and experience this vulnerability, it by far is the greatest high I've ever had. It is not unlike the rush one feels when he/she goes on a roller coaster. For the two minutes you are on that ride, you have surrendered control. People describe it as scary, invigorating, liberating. . . . a RUSH! Some might say a successful marriage is just a roller coaster ride through life. . . .I agree, and it is better than any coaster I've ever ridden at Hershey Park.

Next time you are having an argument, ask yourself why this is an issue. If you take a deep breath, put your shields down, and put your pride up on the shelf, chances are the argument will quickly dissipate, the conflict will be resolved, and you will begin the fun of making up. ;)

Thanks for visiting.
Peace,
Randy

Pride - Part 1

In my career as an educator, I have spent a lot of time observing people - Teachers, Administrators, Parents, Students, support staff, bus drivers, community members, board members. . . a lot of characters in the daily play that makes up an average school day. A lot of those observations have been in my official capacity, but most of them unofficially. . . casually. With the sheer volume of people involved, it is interesting to watch the rhythm of the interactions between each unique person within their peer group as well as within the other unique groups. I have noticed two consistencies no matter where I have been: (1) The younger the person, the more honest or transparent the presentation, and (2) Adults tend to maintain an invisible "force field" of protection, shielding their authentic selves from others. I have deduced that the reason for these consistencies is quite simple. . . . PRIDE.

A young child has not developed the concept of pride, and adults allow their pride to control their actions and interactions.
If we could read the invisible fields put up around us, we would see that very rarely we get to see a clear picture of the true essence of most people in our lives. Pride perpetuates and feeds off of individual insecurities, low sel-esteem, jealousy, lack of confidence, and other personality cancers that prohibit us from connecting with others.

People walk around wearing masks or facades that present to the world the person they believe the world wants to see or the person they want the world to believe they are. As a result, people are relegated to staying an arm's distance away, and never really connecting with each other. These distances (or spaces) are incubators of tension, conflict, and misunderstanding. People like to say "I'm a what you see is what you get person," however, that is rarely an accurate statement. If that was true, there would be less posturing, gossip, and distaste, and more empathy and compassion.

My next three blog entries are going to look closer into the negative impact that pride has on us in the workplace, within our family unit, in our community, and pride's global implications. In the meantime, take a real look at yourself in the mirror. As Billy Joel wrote in "The Stranger" (I paraphrase) do you have a face that you hide away forever, and take and it out and show yourself when everyone has gone?" I think we all do. If we were conscious of it, and could control this, and were able to walk out of the house "maskless," I submit there would be more happiness. . . . more peace.

As I like to say, "If you allow your pride to be your guide, you are bound to get lost." Try and let your heart and sense of self be your social and emotional GPS.

Peace,
Randy

A Humble, Naked Return

Hello everyone in the blogoshpere. I have been away for a couple months taking care of some "business" so I can establish a base from which to launch more of the lessons, insights, or maybe better categorized as rantings =) that you have been kind enough to support since I started this early last year. During my time away I have had some experiences that have provided me with some insights I would love to share with you.

Since my last entry, I have begun the process of building production studios in a 12,000 sq. ft. building we are purchasing in Fairfield, NJ, and I have gone back into education as a principal of a school for hearing impaired children.

I humbly return after the struggles of going through the process of convincing a bank to trust me with a large sum of money, and the process of convincing a board that the six years I spent away from education would make me a more insightful educator.

Fortunately, I have been able to make it through both exercises. We are still awaiting the ridiculousness of the NJDEP to environmentally approve our building's neighborhood, although the building's lot itself was deemed safe. So I AM a principal, as I write this, but I am NOT yet a building owner.

Today is the first day I have been able to sit an take a breathe and really reflect on the past three months away, and I realized the valuable lesson I learned through the process. I stated how humble I feel, because this experience has done just that. . . humbled me.

I have been very fortunate in my life to have had success at an early age. I was a school administrator at 28, and have been nominated for an Emmy for each of my first three television specials. When that kind of fortune comes your way, you might take for granted that it is not special, but expected. Sometimes your view of the world and reality become a bit skewed. I am not saying I did not realize what was happening to me was special and that I was lucky, I was just not aware of how lucky I truly was. It took forced introspection and total transparency to have me truly see how lucky I am and how lucky I continue to be.

If you are feeling a bit "off" or are having trouble connecting with your authentic self, then I recommend you try to do two things:
1.) Attempt to refinance your home or borrow a large sum of money, while not receiving a regular paycheck
2.) Put together a resume, attempt to get interviews, and then actually go through with them.

Nothing will be more humbling than the process of convincing someone to bring you in for an interview and/or the process of a lender going through your entire professional and/or financial history.

Both activities will make you stand in front of the proverbial mirror and look at your life in a really naked, raw manner. Just like the first time you put on your bathing suit, after a winter of baggy sweaters, you might not like what you see. Admitting where you need to improve yourself is the first step in making your life more enriching and fulfilling. You have to be willing to see your naked self for who you really are, accept it, and then resolve to get yourself in shape - spiritually, financially, and maybe even physically.

It may also make you rethink your personal relationships and habits, and spotlight those that have a positive impact on your life. Without the love and support of my wife, and some extended family and friends, I would not be able to have survived the naked walk I have had to make throughout the early part of 2011. I also learned who my true friends were and to be much more wary of those who support you in your time of success (easy to do).

So I'm back, I have survived both trials. I am happy to be back working with teachers and kids, and excited about the next adventure of further building the all new Nightstand Studios. This humbling has allowed me to take two steps back, establish a new base, and hopefully launch forward to greater heights, with more insanely exciting ideas, and continue to strive to make the world a better place for families.

Everyone can be successful, you just need to be willing to go back and get naked. Put on your Re-birthday suit, and live your best life.

Stay tuned. . .
Randy