Thoughts from the Nightstand

Remembering Walt

2011-12-05T12:52:00.004-05:00

It is funny how birthdays effect people - both their own and those of others. When it is your own birthday, it is usually a time for reflection, goal setting, etc. When it is the birthday of someone else, it can also provide you with opportunities to have the same type of self reflection. I love looking at the newspaper in the "Born Today" section to find out whose birthday it is. . . . Well, nowadays, I do that through an App on my iPhone, but you get the idea. I do that, and see how people on the list made enough of a mark, or impact, to make the list. Sometimes that mark is great, and sometimes it is trivial (actress, actor, who starred in ___)

Today's birthday is one that I keep on my own personal calendar, as I do my relatives and friends. It is the birthday of Walter Elias Disney, who would have been 110 years old today. Next week he will have been dead for 45 years - longer than I have been on this Earth, and he is still a household name.

A picture of him hangs on the wall of my office, and from time to time, I will look at him and the others on my wall and ask "What would they have done?" More times than not, the answer to the question posed towards Mr. Disney would come back with the answer - Whatever HE wanted to do.. . . .Whatever HE thought was best. A valuable lesson and reminder to those of us who struggle with those we come in contact with who are afraid of change, afraid of taking risks, and afraid of being different.

Volumes have been written about Mr. Disney, and I could probably fill several hard drives with what I have read and studied about him and how his life has impacted my decision own making process. Instead of leaving you with my usual long-winded dissertation on the values of "Living like Disney, Edison, Rogers, Henson, Hershey and now Jobs" (Those hanging on my wall of dead advisors. . .LOL), I am going to leave you with only one thing to think about.

Live today like Walt would have - Making decisions for YOUR reasons, not the fear and so-called logic of others. When all is said and done, you will be happier "Winning" or "Losing" doing it your way, rather than because someone else said it was how it should be done. As a matter of fact, living that way, you never "Lose" you just learn a lesson from not being successful.

If we are not successful one day, on our own terms, then we are more apt to get up tomorrow and jump right back in the fray. We will recover from the "loss" knowing we learned from it.

A perfect quote (well, really paraphrase) from Mr. Disney, demonstrating this idea, was placed at the end of the movie Meet the Robinsons. It best demonstrates how Mr. Disney has taught me to deal with not being unsuccessful from time to time. I hope it helps you too.

“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

–Walt Disney

Thanks for visiting

Peace,

Randy

P.S. - It is also Little Richard's Birthday, another pioneer, just not on the wall. . . .LOL

The Golden Rule - Humanity and Business

2011-10-20T07:53:00.010-04:00

I've been away from the blog a little while, getting into the groove at my new position in the school, as well as getting the new home of Nightstand Studios ramped up for construction. I felt compelled to write today after a couple irksome interactions with "professionals" that really disappointed me regarding the state of the U.S. workforce., and the lack of Pride (yes. . .that word again) people seem to be taking in their work.

One thing my dad taught me at a young age, while working in his warehouse, and going out on jobs for him, was that we should all do at least a full day's work, offering a fair service for a fair price. He has become very successful in business with that simple set of rules. We talked often about the humanity of business, and how even though I would be installing similar products in their homes or business, these customers and their homes/businesses were all unique. From a rudimentary standpoint, taking my dad's business of floor covering as an example, each person is as unique as the quirky measurements and traffic patterns between my living room carpet and the carpet of my neighbor. Our dimensions might be similar, but our tastes, budget, family activities, and decorating sense are all different, making a common service - installing a living room carpet - unique.

That translates perfectly into my daily life as an educator, businessman, and human being. I believe we should deal with each customer/person as if they were a one-of-a-kind project that needs unique attention. Not unlike the craftsman who builds one piece of furniture at a time vs. the mass-produced factory furniture, there is extra attention spent on that single piece that will probably end up in its having a longer life (better durability) and a richer price tag. Custom furniture usually uses better quality materials and more complex assembly, making it a higher valued object, with better quality assurance.

Before I digress too far, my point is not to discuss carpets and furniture. My focus here is on how we deal with our fellow human beings. Whether we want to admit it or not (and I tend to try to not) we all depend on others to get through our days. Whether it is the person pumping our gas, checking out our groceries, delivering our mail, or directing traffic, we need others to care about what they do to make the world move smoothly.

As a principal in a school where every student has an IEP (Individual Education Program), and are sent to us from a public school district to assist them in overcoming their unique issue of being hearing impaired, all of my students are dependent upon adults assigned by their home district, as well within our school, to provide them with appropriate services and care to give them every opportunity to succeed. We view every student as being special, with their own unique set of needs and learning styles. Our teachers and staff are craftsmen. Each student is handled with unique care and attention to detail. What is interesting is monitoring the view of our students from the sending districts. 90% of the Case Managers that send their students to us are caring, compassionate, insightful, professionals, who take time to know the child, the child's family, and the people who are part of their educational program. It is their assistance that allows us to continue to be successful in what we do, and ensures that these students have EVERY opportunity to succeed. There are those, however, who fail to see the humanity in their business, the craftsmanship in their chosen profession, view each student as another product on the assembly line of the public school system, and give the students what the state forces them to comply with and what will cost the district the least amount today (not thinking about how the investment today in quality service would impact the bottom line for years to come). It is that 10% that incenses me - the ones that treat the kids like a liability - like a product they are pushing up the assembly line that will become the next person down the line's responsibility. When you look at people as a dollar sign/liability, instead of someone who NEEDS your expertise to help them, that is when you should question the path you have chose to take. You have one life to live, you should do it in the most rewarding and contributing way possible. This 10% feeds right into one of my previous writing about people "collecting checks instead of earning them."

This 10% doesn't only apply to education, it can be witnessed in every profession, every walk of life. I deal with the educational 10% personally, with my colleagues, advocating for the students in our school. What prompted me to write today was NOT education, but the healthcare industry, which we have recently been dealing with as my mother-in-law recovers from major back surgery.

Two weeks ago, after spending two weeks in a rehab facility that we will call "K." Mom lives alone in a small house that is not quite built for a walker or wheelchair. She was still experiencing great pain, and her pain management had not been fully normalized. The Social worker at K came in and told her that because she had been making such great progress, that she was going to be sent home in three days - even though she still had the insurance and funds for an additional 20 days. She CLEARLY was not medically, nor personally ready to go home, and her house still needed to be equipped with assistive devices to ensure her safety. All the Social worker knew was that she was able to stand and use a walker for a certain amount of feet, so she was ready to go. They "needed her bed." She did not view mom as a unique case, taking into consideration her health/medication issues or her home needs. She prescribed her a visiting nurse for a couple days a week (with a list of stipulations attached to that service) and sent her on her way.

Two days later, Mom is throwing up violently, unable to keep her meds or food down, and is dehydrated to a state of desperation. The visiting nurse rushes her to the hospital, where she is kept for observation for three days, then for treatment another three days. She has since been re-released to a different rehab facility, where we are happy to say she is well taken care of, and healing nicely. We saw her stand and walk yesterday, looking better than she has in probably a year. The people at Valley Hospital in Ridgewood, NJ and now Care One in Hackensack, NJ did not view mom as a product on the assembly line. They treated her like fine craftsmen, taking time to ensure that she was put together properly.

It is that 10% that prompts people to make blanket statements like "You know what's wrong with education, (healthcare, telecommunications, ------place your industry here)?" That 10% ruins it for the 90% of us who do care. The 90% of us who see humanity in all we do. The 90% of us who follow the Golden Rule, and treat others the way we would like to be treated.

I hope you strive to be part of the 90% and lower that 10% number. Imagine how we could change the world if we treated others the way we wanted to be treated. . . . . . .Simple solution, with infinitely powerful ramifications.

Thanks for visiting.

Peace,

Randy

Pride - Part 2 Wedded Bliss

2011-08-05T08:05:00.006-04:00

Saturday is my wife's and my 16th wedding anniversary. It is amazing to reflect on the evolution that has occurred both individually and as a couple over these years. Growth, however, usually entails a bit of stretching, discomfort, displacement, and pain. In a marriage, these growing pains usually reveal themselves in disagreements, differing of opinions, contention. . . . OK, OK. . . I'll say it. . . .ARGUMENTS!! For years, I would tell people that my wife and I NEVER fought, NEVER argued. Not because I wanted to portray us as "the perfect couple" (which in jest I do in social situations - part of our Schtick), but because I always viewed the word "argument" or "fighting" as being something of much larger proportions - stuff being thrown, doors being slammed, people storming out, etc. I had said that my wife and I had two or three fights in the history of our relationship, until one day, a friend of ours was over and we had a disagreement.

She said, "Listen guys, don't argue about this. It is not worth the fight."

I promptly said, "we're not arguing"

To which my wife replied "Yes we are!"

To me, it was one of the funnier exchanges in our then 10+ years of marriage. I think my wife would characterize it as being more frustrating. I said, "Oh. . . . THIS is arguing" as I then laughed and totally lost focus of the "argument" which, by the way, was DEFINITELY my fault and a result of. . . you guessed it PRIDE!

More times than not, our "arguments" are a result of wanting to have control. Control is usually perceived as a negative desire in this type of situation. However, control with regards to a marriage is more about identity than it is about wanting to be "the Boss." When you say "I Do," you go from being two separate entities to being one entity made up of two parts. Throughout our lives we continue to fight for our own voice and individuality. Too "proud" to succumb to or surrender any part of ourselves. Sometimes that fight causes friction, which can blossom into a conflict, disagrement. . . OK, OK. . a fight.

Where pride comes into this discussion is in how you perceive yourself within your relationship, and how that manifests itself regarding your view outside of your relationship/marriage. The fear of surrendering yourself to your partner and trusting that in his/her eyes you are still a vibrant INDIVIDUAL will definitely manifest itself in the establishing of that "force field" that I discussed in Part 1. Everyone needs that one person who sees them from inside that field, and loves them in spite of the insecurities, inadequacies, and fears, that the force field has been built to hide or protect. I am fortunate that I have my wife, who after 20+ years of being together, still loves, supports, and respects me, in spite of my laundry list of insecurities and inadequacies.

As you all know, I write this blog never presenting myself as any kind of expert. I write it as a means of putting ideas for discussion out to the world, putting down my force field, and sharing with others that it is alright to not be perfect (although we ALL try so hard to think we can be. . . especially me. . LOL). When we put our pride aside and meet our spouse halfway, it is the most magical experience of synergy imaginable. If you think of all the times you have argued with your spouse, chances are it was because you both wanted to control a situation or decision. Pride steps in and makes you want to be in charge and/or be the dominant INDIVIDUAL, because, if you are in charge, your individuality is not lost.

I submit that marriage does not mean that you lose your individuality. If you can control your pride and allow yourself to compromise a bit, the individual in each of us becomes more vibrant, more noticeable, because it is now also broadcasted or projected through the magnifying lens of the love of your life. I am a bigger personality not only because I am PROUD of my marriage, but also because my wife's love and support magnifies my self worth. She has journeyed to the center of my soul (which is scarier than the center of the Earth) and continues to make me feel complete, and like a more significant person.

My hopes for all of you is that you put your pride aside, allow yourself to experience the scariness of surrendering your soul to another person, and feel the ecstasy of vulnerability. I still struggle with it every day, but when I am able to control my own pride, and experience this vulnerability, it by far is the greatest high I've ever had. It is not unlike the rush one feels when he/she goes on a roller coaster. For the two minutes you are on that ride, you have surrendered control. People describe it as scary, invigorating, liberating. . . . a RUSH! Some might say a successful marriage is just a roller coaster ride through life. . . .I agree, and it is better than any coaster I've ever ridden at Hershey Park.

Next time you are having an argument, ask yourself why this is an issue. If you take a deep breath, put your shields down, and put your pride up on the shelf, chances are the argument will quickly dissipate, the conflict will be resolved, and you will begin the fun of making up. ;)

Thanks for visiting.
Peace,
Randy

Pride - Part 1

2011-08-02T22:14:00.007-04:00

In my career as an educator, I have spent a lot of time observing people - Teachers, Administrators, Parents, Students, support staff, bus drivers, community members, board members. . . a lot of characters in the daily play that makes up an average school day. A lot of those observations have been in my official capacity, but most of them unofficially. . . casually. With the sheer volume of people involved, it is interesting to watch the rhythm of the interactions between each unique person within their peer group as well as within the other unique groups. I have noticed two consistencies no matter where I have been: (1) The younger the person, the more honest or transparent the presentation, and (2) Adults tend to maintain an invisible "force field" of protection, shielding their authentic selves from others. I have deduced that the reason for these consistencies is quite simple. . . . PRIDE.

A young child has not developed the concept of pride, and adults allow their pride to control their actions and interactions.
If we could read the invisible fields put up around us, we would see that very rarely we get to see a clear picture of the true essence of most people in our lives. Pride perpetuates and feeds off of individual insecurities, low sel-esteem, jealousy, lack of confidence, and other personality cancers that prohibit us from connecting with others.

People walk around wearing masks or facades that present to the world the person they believe the world wants to see or the person they want the world to believe they are. As a result, people are relegated to staying an arm's distance away, and never really connecting with each other. These distances (or spaces) are incubators of tension, conflict, and misunderstanding. People like to say "I'm a what you see is what you get person," however, that is rarely an accurate statement. If that was true, there would be less posturing, gossip, and distaste, and more empathy and compassion.

My next three blog entries are going to look closer into the negative impact that pride has on us in the workplace, within our family unit, in our community, and pride's global implications. In the meantime, take a real look at yourself in the mirror. As Billy Joel wrote in "The Stranger" (I paraphrase) do you have a face that you hide away forever, and take and it out and show yourself when everyone has gone?" I think we all do. If we were conscious of it, and could control this, and were able to walk out of the house "maskless," I submit there would be more happiness. . . . more peace.

As I like to say, "If you allow your pride to be your guide, you are bound to get lost." Try and let your heart and sense of self be your social and emotional GPS.

Peace,
Randy

A Humble, Naked Return

2011-07-26T11:46:00.004-04:00

Hello everyone in the blogoshpere. I have been away for a couple months taking care of some "business" so I can establish a base from which to launch more of the lessons, insights, or maybe better categorized as rantings =) that you have been kind enough to support since I started this early last year. During my time away I have had some experiences that have provided me with some insights I would love to share with you.

Since my last entry, I have begun the process of building production studios in a 12,000 sq. ft. building we are purchasing in Fairfield, NJ, and I have gone back into education as a principal of a school for hearing impaired children.

I humbly return after the struggles of going through the process of convincing a bank to trust me with a large sum of money, and the process of convincing a board that the six years I spent away from education would make me a more insightful educator.

Fortunately, I have been able to make it through both exercises. We are still awaiting the ridiculousness of the NJDEP to environmentally approve our building's neighborhood, although the building's lot itself was deemed safe. So I AM a principal, as I write this, but I am NOT yet a building owner.

Today is the first day I have been able to sit an take a breathe and really reflect on the past three months away, and I realized the valuable lesson I learned through the process. I stated how humble I feel, because this experience has done just that. . . humbled me.

I have been very fortunate in my life to have had success at an early age. I was a school administrator at 28, and have been nominated for an Emmy for each of my first three television specials. When that kind of fortune comes your way, you might take for granted that it is not special, but expected. Sometimes your view of the world and reality become a bit skewed. I am not saying I did not realize what was happening to me was special and that I was lucky, I was just not aware of how lucky I truly was. It took forced introspection and total transparency to have me truly see how lucky I am and how lucky I continue to be.

If you are feeling a bit "off" or are having trouble connecting with your authentic self, then I recommend you try to do two things:
1.) Attempt to refinance your home or borrow a large sum of money, while not receiving a regular paycheck
2.) Put together a resume, attempt to get interviews, and then actually go through with them.

Nothing will be more humbling than the process of convincing someone to bring you in for an interview and/or the process of a lender going through your entire professional and/or financial history.

Both activities will make you stand in front of the proverbial mirror and look at your life in a really naked, raw manner. Just like the first time you put on your bathing suit, after a winter of baggy sweaters, you might not like what you see. Admitting where you need to improve yourself is the first step in making your life more enriching and fulfilling. You have to be willing to see your naked self for who you really are, accept it, and then resolve to get yourself in shape - spiritually, financially, and maybe even physically.

It may also make you rethink your personal relationships and habits, and spotlight those that have a positive impact on your life. Without the love and support of my wife, and some extended family and friends, I would not be able to have survived the naked walk I have had to make throughout the early part of 2011. I also learned who my true friends were and to be much more wary of those who support you in your time of success (easy to do).

So I'm back, I have survived both trials. I am happy to be back working with teachers and kids, and excited about the next adventure of further building the all new Nightstand Studios. This humbling has allowed me to take two steps back, establish a new base, and hopefully launch forward to greater heights, with more insanely exciting ideas, and continue to strive to make the world a better place for families.

Everyone can be successful, you just need to be willing to go back and get naked. Put on your Re-birthday suit, and live your best life.

Stay tuned. . .
Randy

Time to empty the education sock drawer.

2011-02-02T16:52:00.004-05:00

This month the documentary Waiting For Superman will be released on DVD. I haven't had the opportunity to view the entire film yet, but have consumed all the interviews, Oprah appearances, their very detailed website, etc. Its message is something that stirs emotions deep within me, and really has had me obsessing over some unfinished business I have in my life.

As many of you know, I have spent the past six years producing wholesome family entertainment and educational media, after spending 13 successful and frustrating years in education - 8 as a Central Office Administrator and building principal. I left public education to pursue my other passion of family entertainment - but I was probably more pushed out than I was someone leaving on his own. I call it the blocking of energy by those who were "Collecting checks instead of earning them"

When someone with energy, vision, and passion is around the likes of conservative (not politically) "caretakers" of deeply rooted, union controlled organizations like public education, the ones in control are fearful of their cushy positions and, quite frankly, feel they have earned the right to now rest on their past successes that got them the big offices and high salaries.

I have been following NJ Governor Chris Christie's initiatives to overhaul and reform public education and am encouraged by the fact that people are talking about reform. We have been running our schools the same way since we moved out of the one room schoolhouse and it is time for some REAL REFORM. Our education system is broken, and until we actually resolve ourselves to really fix it, we are going to continue to go through cases of duct tape and bubble gum to patch up the holes and weak structures that are a result of top-heavy administrative budgets, overpaid local superintendent positions, and ridiculous union-forced job security measures such as tenure.

We continue to recycle administrators that were not successful in other positions because of the length (which is misrepresented as strength) of their resumes, the color of their skin, or the graying of their hair. We are trying create new educational models with components that are not really compatible. We continue to recyle these candidates because their "experience" brings comfort to those making the decision to hire them. We are attempting to run new plays with players who are not fit enough to execute them.

I have sat by and watched silently, seething as I see do-nothing wannabe politicians become superintendents and principals who are satisfied with not taking risks and collecting their checks in their cushy offices, while the children are delivered the same laminated programs of years past.

It is time for us to dump out the "sock drawer" that is the decision makers (or non-decision makers) that make up a large percentage of our education system. Throw away the the ones that no longer match, fit, or have holes in them, and systematically replenish the collection with ones that actually fit and match our new wardrobe (plans for reform).

Stay tuned, as I have just begun to discuss what needs to be done. Just like the reasons I went into broadcasting, these opinions will ruffle the feathers of the "Check Collectors" and further energize those who really are "Earning their check" and making positive strides in education reform.

We can't wait for Superman. We need to all put on a cape and do our part.

An "Impactful" life.

2011-01-24T10:07:00.003-05:00

I know. .. Impactful is not a real word. It is coming up on everyone's spellcheck alert, but it is the most concise way of describing today's message.

I found out this morning, while listening to the Howard Stern Show, about the death of one of my life's icons, Jack LaLanne. Those who know me, are expecting me to blog about this. Those who REALLY know me, are expecting me to be very hurt by this, as if I have lost a family member.

Truth is, just like in life, his passing has inspired me. Unlike Mister Rogers, who I never had the opportunity to meet, I spent three days with Jack LaLanne, at a time in my life that I was approaching a crossroad. We spent three days eating healthy, talking about fitness, and more importantly, the impact we have on others. It is a happenstance meeting that had a great impact on how I continue to live my life.

I told him my story of the educator-turned struggling producer, and my dream of helping make the world a better place. He patiently listened and asked questions, then said to me "You are doing the right thing. All my life I have just worried about helping others, and the rest has fallen in place." He said that with an earnestness and sincerity that brought a calm over me, at a time where I was doubting the craziness of what I was doing.

Five years and four Emmy nominations later, I find myself at the same crossroad. As always, I have several irons in the fire, and work and live at a pace that must be very tiring to watch (although it is invigorating to live) or for my wife to live with (a real saint). I have so many things I still want to accomplish as an educator, as a family man, as a creative producer, as an American.

I see the problems plaguing our education system, and I have a real plan for how to fix it. I see the problems in our governmental system, and I also have a real plan of how to fix that. I see garbage on TV and feel that there has to be a wholesome alternative that people want to watch and experience. Most importantly, I have an AWESOME wife and two daughters and want to experience every minute of their lives with them. So you see why I am always running so hot.

So I take pause today to remember the words of the man I was so fortunate to have met - and experience his energy firsthand. It makes me think of a quote from Jackie Robinson: "A Life is not important, except for the impact it has on others." Jack LaLanne preached that we should all "Work and Live Vigorously," and he did so in an "Impactful" way - a way that left a great impact on how I, as well as others live our lives.

So I will continue to dream of leaving a legacy like Jack did, and maybe someday I will be given the opportunity he had to affect global change. Maybe someone will really, truly want to make change and I will get the opportunity to implement my plans for education, entertainment, or for government. In the meantime, I will continue to try my hardest to have an impact on the most important passion in my life - my wife and my girls.

Thank you Jack for having an impact.

Your presence might be missed, but your spirit will live on.

Who will YOU impact today?

Living like an Underdog

2011-01-13T09:09:00.002-05:00

Birthday's are another great excuse/opportunity to re-evaluate yourself and your life's direction (like I ever need an excuse to do that). As my loyal readers would attest, I always encourage self-evaluation and the consistent check into your progress towards long-term and short-term goals. I also encourage constant "tweaking" of said goals. If something isn't working, change it. No need to keep a molded strawberry in the refrigerator, if you know you will never use it. Throw it out and go buy some more fruit.

This week was my 43rd birthday. On the morning of my birthday, I took the family dog, Holly, out for a long walk. With the weather being so cold and snowy, we have been taking shorter walks or I'ver been letting her out in the backyard to "do her business." January 11, however, I decided to bundle up and go for a walk in the 15 degree morning air. I ran into a neighbor, whom I regularly exchange the latest news and sports talk with, and continued on our way. We discussed the amazing weekend of NFL playoff games and how the underdogs won 3 out of the 4 games. The Seattle Seahawks beat the defending Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints, after being 10 point underdogs going into the game. That got me thinking.

Nobody gave them a fighting chance to win, but they showed up and did just that. They believed in themselves and their chances for victory, and it didn't matter what the rest of the league thought. Sure their fans showed up and were making all kinds of noise, but I would have to think that they were just thrilled to have their 7-9 team hosting a playoff game. This game was gravy to them. . . but not to the players.

I think that there is a lesson there that can apply to our daily lives and the reaching for our goals and dreams. Saints fans must have been blow away by the fact that this team, who only won 7 games during the regular season, vanquished their reigning champions.

This is a big build-up for a simple lesson that I would like everyone to think about. I believe the day you wake up and do not have the fire of an underdog, the desire to become better than we were the day before, the confidence to move forward when the rest of the world may not be paying attention to you (or seeming doesn't believe in you), that is the day you will begin your decline - your spiral toward the end. . . when your life will have "Jumped the Shark" so to speak. Just look at Mike Tyson's life after he took Buster Douglas for granted, and believed he was no longer an underdog - believed his own reported invincibility.

The old saying is that "Everyone loves an underdog." I believe that is true because the underdog has the spirit, energy, and drive to continue to move forward and create something unexpected.

Live like an underdog, and expect the unexpected.

Peace,

Randy

Don't Resolve - EVOLVE

2011-01-03T08:34:00.002-05:00

It is resolution time again. People are pumped up and motivated to change their lives, better themselves, and take on the world. For the next week we will see people eating better, maybe being nicer, walking around sore (because they resolved to exercise more and are feeling the effects of an inactive 2010) or actually showing up to work on time. Many of us claim "This is the year when ______".

Invariably, this does not last. People are creatures of habit and will soon grow tired or overwhelmed by their new resolutions and fall back into the same routines they were dissatisfied with the previous years.

There is a way to break this cycle, and that is to NOT make a resolution. Resolutions are so absolute that they are unrealistic in their actual attainment. Also, when you do veer off your resolution, you are most likely going to say "Well, that was that - good try on my part" and fall back into the old habits and eventually become disappointed in yourself. A vicious cycle that seems to repeat itself year after year.

The solution is simple - don't resolve. . . evolve. Take your goals not in absolution of a resolution, but in smaller attainable goals, allowing you to take baby steps over the period of the year and bank positive actions. Not unlike the recovering addict - Alcohol, food, drugs, etc. - live your life one day or period at a time. If you are trying to lose weight, take it one meal at a time. Trying to get fit? . . .one day at a time. Trying to read more. . .one page at a time. Before you know it, you will have attained a collection of positive actions and if you miss a day or two, you can easily start again.

Subscribe to this evolution process - slow growth over time - and before you know it, you will have demonstrable growth.

Last year, I had "resolved" to write more and blog. I started out strong and petered out in the end. When I reflected on my year, I was pleased to see that I had shared 31 blogs - some insightful, some silly, and some a bit out there. Nonetheless, that is 31 more blogs or public writings than I did the year before. I am proud of myself for that achievement - not disappointed over the frequency. This year, I will try to do it more frequently.

At the very least, this is entry number one. Next time I have something to say, I will then write again. . . no pressure. . . just progress.

Happy New Year.

Randy

Happy "New" Year?

2010-09-13T09:08:00.005-04:00

Hello Friends,

It is September. New Year for those of the Jewish faith, a new school year for those still obtaining knowledge (I hope that is all of us), and a good time to get back into the swing of blogging.

After a fun summer with the family, even through the continually struggling time in our economy, I feel motivated to continue to stay focused on the important things in life.

I was speaking to an old friend regarding peace and happiness, and thought it would be a good way to look at the "new" year.

It is funny how I have conversations like this, when I myself have no financial success to show.

It might be how my wife and I deal with our "poverty" that draws people to look for our secret to peace and happiness.

My views on this and life are simple.

Speculation, Jealousy and Regret are three wasted mental actions.

You can't control what was, what could have been, and what might never be.

You can only control what IS.

If we continue to spend our days (or interactions/experiences) with the sense of what is and with a view on what has brought us here, then we can better orchestrate our desired results from that day/interaction/experience.

Granted, that end result we are attempting to achieve may not be realistic or (unbeknownst to us) be in the best interest of us and our family (you discover this later in reflection).

There will be results of some sort (or a plan of action), and we need will respond in kind to IT! - not to what we hoped or thought the outcome would be.

Keeping that focus on the REALITY of the situation allows us to maintain control - whereas speculation, jealousy, and regret have us theorizing on uncontrollable situations. Viewing the world in this manner will allow us to stand strong and grow from life's ever passing vignettes.

Waste no time on the "what if I". . ."I should have". . . "They didn't. . . " types of dialogue/monologues.

Instead, say. . ."OK, I am here. My next move is in "THIS" direction (or "these" directions), which may have outcomes of x,y, or z. . . but I won't worry about them until I get there."

The world is not static. It is always in a state of evolution, as are we. It is this reason we do not waste time on Speculation.

Your day will go as it was meant to go. Your performance within it will dictate how you come out of it.

There are no negatives, just backwards positives waiting for a mirror to turn them around.

Breathe, Observe, React authentically, and observe some more.

Someone told me "You have two ears and one mouth. . . listen more. . .talk less. . ."

Good advice, that is difficult to remember at times.

Hope this is helpful, and not too preachy. It is not meant to be.

I won't worry myself over whether or not is was received that way. That would be far to Speculative, and lead me to be regretful. . . =)

Peace,

Randy

How You See Yourself

2010-07-01T15:06:00.004-04:00

Happy July 1 everyone. The beginning of a new month and a perfect opportunity to act on the question I asked in my previous entry - "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

I know, a silly question to be asking an adult, but in reality, we are always growing and we are always learning. As I often say, "Every day is a school day." I used to say that to my students when I was a teacher and to my teachers when I was a principal, and I truly believe that you can learn from everyone you come in contact with, regardless of the perceived position he/she or you hold in relation to each other. Each day I learn from my children, and I hope they learn from me =). I still learn from my parents (sometimes how NOT to act, but that is still learning nonetheless).

It is all about having the confidence and strong self-esteem to recognize that you do not have all the answers and that the only person who matters with regards to judging you, is YOU. How you perceive the world and see yourself as a part of it, dictates the way you handle situations, interact with others, and answer questions seemingly as simple as "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Since we continue to grow and evolve, I should rephrase the question to, "Now that you have accomplished _____, what challenge do you want to conquer next?" or "Since the latest outcome in your life has resulted in ________ (losing a job, breaking up with a loved one, earning a new position or coming into a lot of money), what will be the next move you make to make your life richer and therefore richer for those you care about?"

It is all in how you look at things, especially yourself. Edison never failed, he just discovered ways that didn't work to the standard he was hoping. If you are at a crossroad in your life, or a time where you are questioning "What it all means?" then this is the perfect time to answer my question.

When answering it, view yourself how YOU want to be viewed, not how you think others view you. Remember, you are looking back at yourself in the mirror, and your life and actions are a reflection on you and you alone.

Some readers of my blog, as well as advisors of mine, feel that sometimes I am way too serious. Those who know me in life realize that although I am a bit intense and goal driven, I am one of the sillier people around. However, when it comes to living the life you were meant to lead, I find it to be a serious manner, and if viewed that way, you will be able to live the carefree life of a person who is more than pleased with the path his life is taking.

Notice I didn't say "content," for contentment breeds complacency, which will lead you back to the place of "What is it all worth?" Live each day as a challenge to be more fun, more full, and more enriching than the one before and contentment/complacency will never be an issue, because you will be living a truly happy life.

On the subject of how you view things, I came across this FUNNY. . . .yes FUNNY video that effectively demonstrates the idea of perception. Your perception is fact to you, as other's is fact to them. Enjoy this video and begin looking at yourself the way you want other to see you.

I am still waiting for your answer?

Peace,

Randy

P.S. Also, as an artist, I LOVED this person's clever work.

Reinventing Yourself For Survival

2010-06-13T16:45:00.006-04:00

Never in our lifetime have we experienced such a scary and "depressing" time in our country's economy. I guess it doesn't take a genius to realize why it was called the "Great Depression" - great in size not in magnitude of coolness.

It is times like these that test the true metal of a person. The ability to stay positive - to maintain a focused course through the turbulence present in the journey of making ends meet. More of are friends, neighbors and family members are unemployed, or fear that they will be the victim of the next set of budget cuts. Our credit card debt is on the rise, and we are trying to maintain a lifestyle that maybe was too rich for our blood to begin with.

So what do we do to combat these feelings of desperation? What do we do to allay the fears that sometimes consume us? How do we position ourselves to survive these storms and hope to rise like the Phoenix from the ashes of economic despair? The answer is more simple than you think, but as scary and exhilarating as anything you have done in your life. The answer is REINVENTION.

Reinventing yourself in a way that not only allows you to ride the current wave of downturned economy to the shore of calm and peace, but in a way that will afford you the ability to live a more authentic life, with true happiness as your ultimate reward.

Now is the time for us to think back at a more innocent time in our lives when adults would ask us "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Think back on what your answers were. Usually those answers were directly linked into your passion and your happiness. Whether it was a baseball player or zookeeper, the innocence of your answers gave insights into your true happiness. You didn't know what kind of salary a zookeeper made, nor did you care. You just cared about how cool it would be to work with exotic animals and maybe help teach others about them.

Now we make decisions based on responsibilities - mortgages, kids, health insurance, etc. and we live our lives working to live instead of living to work. When I look at my life, I say, "You know, I've probably got another 30 years left where I will be productive in the workforce. How do I really want to spend them? Do I want to spend them fighting the battles of others' wars to the betterment of their pockets and dreams, or do I want to fight my own battles?"

If you work for an employer who shares the same ideals and goals as you do, and you couldn't picture yourself doing anything other than what you do, because you LOVE what you are doing, and have always dreamed of doing this when you were a kid, then CONGRATULATIONS. You are living an enriched and authentic life. If not, then it is time for you to look in the mirror and say, "What do I really want to do with the rest of my life?" What legacy will I leave my children, when they think of me as a parent and as a person? What actions can I take to change my quality of life so when I wake up on Monday morning, I spring into action because your life is fueled by positive uplifting experiences?

I am not telling you to go out and change your life tomorrow - quitting your job and start backpacking across America. I am asking you to be honest with yourself, your spouse, your family, and your friends, and share with them what would truly make you happy. After you have established that, then as a community of loved ones, each of you support each other to attain the lives of true contentment, enrichment, and happiness.

I am very lucky that I have a wife who is following her passion as a Kettlebell instructor. She gets a charge out of being healthy and helping others become more healthy. It is a true labor of love. I am even more lucky because I have a wife who supports me in my pursuit to become the "Next Walt Disney . . . .or as I like to say it. . . the First Randy Rossilli, Jr."

The economy has not been our friend; however, we wake up each day invigorated by the experiences we will be having and the quality of life our career choices have provided our children. When we go to sleep at night, we are aware of the the struggles we have fought through and those that lie ahead, but they are struggles that we are wrestling with on our own terms for our own rewards.

So I ask you today to make a pledge not to work to live, but live to work. When put that way, it is more like what one of my idols, Thomas Edison said - "I never worked a day in my life, it was all fun." You will never work another day in your life, you will experience your life to its fullest, and in turn, positively impact the quality of life of everyone around you.

I have more to say on the topic, but will reserve that for another time. A time at which I hope you have taken some time to figure out:

"What you want to be, when YOU grow up?"

Getting Social In Schools?

2010-06-07T20:20:00.004-04:00

Social networking. . .are you hip to it? Are you someone who got in early on the MySpace craze, did you just start Facebooking, Tweeting. . . are you LinkedIn? It seems like everyone is doing it. . . Moms, Dads, grandparents, kids. . . everyone is staying "connected" using some form of social networking.

It has worked great for me for both personal and professional reasons. It has reconnected me with friends from years ago, it keeps me connected with my current friends and family members, it connects me with people who have similar interests, it allows me to make announcements regarding new projects, properties and advances we have made at Nightstand Creations, and it has even reconnected me with a legion of "new" friends, who were a major part of my life some 15 years ago - who make me feel both proud and a little bit old. That legion is made up of former students of mine, who have now grown and become adults. . . parents. . . active contributors to society. =) I love this reconnection and enjoy their energy. It is great knowing where they came from and seeing how they have evolved.

One former student is really embracing this social media . . "craze?" kind of old to be a craze still, it is kind of now its own thing.

He asked the question in his blog about the idea of social media becoming a curriculum.

As someone who knows a little bit about how educational models evolve, I think we are still about 5+ years away from the adoption of social networking as a classroom tool. It could and should be implemented today as a way of extending the intruction beyond the classroom, and inviting parents and caretakers into the instuctional process. That notion has always been a littel scarey to the teacher, whose pride keeps their classrooms as closed as possible.

The Internet in schools is approximately 15 years old, and schools are just adopting policies that require teachers to maintain regularly updated websites. Social networking is 5 years old. Technology is more readily used by teachers, so I will give the benefit of the doubt to my former colleagues and say that it won't take 15 years to adopt the new technology, this time it will take them only 10. =)

Then again, it won't be "new" any longer, which still falls into the mold of the beauracracy-driven education industry will be last to the game, instead of first or second. . . . which our children and nation deserves.

I Wish I thought of This

2010-04-27T08:52:00.005-04:00

I am a big fan of those in the industry that create similar products to mine, as well as those who create innovative ways of educating and inspiring. My appreciation for this never includes jealousy, because I feel jealousy is wasted energy (topic for a future blog). That being said, it is rare that I come across a unique idea that I say to myself "I wish I thought of that!" Usually my reaction is, "Oh that's cool. . . .How clever. . .etc." However, something came to my attention twice in the past week that I want to share with you, and I wish I had thought of. It is called StoryCorps.

StoryCorps is a project that allows people to come into a specially designed location to tell their story and have it captured in their own voice. It captures the story of America, from the common person's point of view. I used to love sitting with my grandparents and hear the stories of their childhood - their first exposures to innovations and times in our history that they lived through. Just like we all have stories regarding 9-11, and generations before me have those of JFK's assassination, or my grandparents had of Pearl Harbor, America's history is most uniquely told from the perspective of Americans who lived it. History books tell the facts and introduce major contributors of events through time, but the real story comes from those who lived through them.

I am often disappointed that I never had an opportunity to sit with my grandparents or my aunt Noreen to get the full story of my family down on video. Today, the Internet, and services like this, allow us to keep a journal of our life, experiences, and opinions. Maybe future generations will be able to learn from those of us who were arrogant enough to think our words meant something (or had business managers who kept poking us to put words out to the world). Maybe someday, my great grandchild will read this post and add a comment on the bottom.

In the meantime, I encourage you to go to the StoryCorps website and check out what they are all about. I also encourage you to spend time with the older generations in your families and find out what they truly thought about events in their lives. I do it all the time, and am so happy I have the memories of my grandparents and their peers, as well as my parents and their generation. It helps me remain grounded in where I have come from and conscious of where I am going, for I will be the history to generations of Rossillis that follow. My wife always teases me about the fact that I always seem to be interviewing people. I do that to get a appreciation for the life others (plus it makes it easier when I am developing charcters for projects. You never know when you might pop up in one of our stories . . .LOL)

The StoryCorp has put together a special book for Mothers. I have read and heard several of the entries online. I was so inspired by them and impressed by the whole project that I will be purchasing copies for the mothers in my life. I recommend you check it out and consider doing the same. I have absolutely no connection to the project, I just thought my readers would appreciate hearing about it.

Although we may live in different parts of the country, and have experienced different trials, challenges, and successes, there are core human values that connect us all. StoryCorps really illustrates that in a way I wish I had thought of! =)

StoryCorps Website: http://www.storycorps.com

5700 Channels and Nothing On.

2010-04-02T11:01:00.005-04:00

I have always been a HUGE fan of television as a means of information, entertainment, and education. It is truly my medium of choice for those items. However, it appears that today television is becoming strangely marginalized. We have more channels than ever, with more freedom (thanks to DVRs) as to when we watch. We can also control whether or not we want to subject ourselves to commercials.

With broadband becoming more ubiquitous, and access to video-based information being delivered to our phones, iPods, computers, etc., there seems to be content flying at us from everywhere. You go to ShopRite and there is information broadcast on a flatscreen there as you are waiting for the old woman in front of you to balance her check book after writing a check for $10 worth of groceries. Billboards (like we needed help being distracted when we are driving) are now animated and/or are not only showing movie posters, but movie trailers! Cars are now equipped with video players and Wi-Fi connectivity. I am certain that someone has developed, or will after reading this, a way to have video on demand delivered directly to cars via satellite transmission (like we do with SiriusXM for our radios).

You would think with all of these new opportunities, we would be receiving better programming. I think you would all agree not necessarily. Oh, it's out there, but there has not been an effective way of allowing us to cull through the abyss of content that is being produced, remade, or re-released. Someone should come up with a way for us to find what we want on whatever our viewing device of choice is. For instance, my wife and I LOVED the documentary Life on the Discovery Channel. It is 11 hours worth of television. That is a lot of TV, especially considering the other responsibilities we have in our lives, and the other programs we enjoy. . . .can't miss an episode of "Idol" =) It would be awesome if we could watch it on our iPhones, or on our computers, but not have to pay the premium of doing so. We already have a HUGE cable bill. Shouldn't those services come along with what we already pay? I am sure somewhere in the near future, a service will be made available that will allow us to watch what we want, when we want, where we want. My children wanted to see the movie Karate Kid 3 (We had already seen 1 and 2). It was not available on-Demand, and I do not have an AppleTV (where I can rent right to my TV from my iMac (I know. . . very surprising) In the future, I am certain that someone will create the ability to allow us to have had the instant gratification of viewing that film when we thought of it. It will require some insane negotiations for residuals, profit sharing, IP rights, but someone will come up with this.

Anyway. . .today's vBlog is about the quality of the programming we have available to us. What we fail to realize is that we are in total control of what is broadcasted. The television industry is not a charitable organization. It is a business, all about making money. If nobody is watching, they will lose advertising revenues. . . . . I hope you enjoy it.

Life was so much simpler before cable. 7 Channels. . . . still not much on. . . .but we expected less. . . .

Lessons from Oz

2010-03-30T10:45:00.005-04:00

I had an interesting conversation last night with a man who is trying to develop an educational program that promotes the progress and impact that urban centers of our country have had on the America we live in today. I found it both inspiring and thought provoking. The 90 minute conversation seemed to go by in a blink.

The conversation led me to discuss with him my views on courage. When I think of the word "courage", it is hard to not have one of my top three favorite movies of all time, The Wizard of Oz, pop into my mind. In addition to the music and story, I always appreciated the characters and how each of us has a little bit of the Scarecrow, Tin Man, Lion, and even Dorothy and Wizard in us.

We sometimes act without thinking - not following our hearts, but conforming out of fear of the expectations of others, while hiding behind a mask as we search for an ideal that doesn't really exist. How's that for a mouthful of an amalgamation of the Oz characters?

As outlandish as it sounds, most of us either unconsciously, or through fear, have become programmed to do just that.

How many of us do things because "We have to," or "It is how we've always done it," or "It is what is expected of me?" We use the word "tradition" to justify our inability to do what we really want to do. We place guilt on ourselves if we don't conform, and in the long run, we spend another day just going along with the crowd. . . .unfulfilled.

If we used our BRAINS to recognize that living up to other's expectations is not what is truly in our HEARTS, then we would have the COURAGE to be our own person and not hide behind the MASK of conformity, and truly have our "HEART'S DESIRE."

The extraordinary people we admire did/do just that. They became EXTRA-ORDINARY because they had the courage to follow their own dreams, while having a strong sense of self (high self-esteem), they controlled their experiences and their lives, and they did not settle for outcomes that were not in alignment with their vision.

I am not recommending that we shirk our responsibilities to our children, our businesses, or communities. However, I am saying that we can be responsible individuals while making sure that our own needs are being met.

There is nothing sadder to me than the countless women I have spoken to who feel they lost their identity when they became mothers, or the men who continue to go to a miserable job, eight-plus hours a day, like drones in the great anthill or beehive of life. These people live their lives for others without thinking of their own needs, and how meeting these needs might positively impact every aspect of their lives. It takes great planning (intellect - BRAINS), HEART, and COURAGE, to maintain your commitment to your family, business, or community, while making your own contentment a priority.

When you do that, your make your place within those three areas stronger and your contribution becomes more rewarding to you and everyone around you. I am fortunate that I have a wife that not only broke herself out of her feelings of being marginalized (losing her identity), but she had the COURAGE to encourage me to leave the safety of public education to pursue this crazy life I currently live. She is a wonderful role model for our two daughters. I can tell you (as would she) that our life at times is a rollercoaster; however, throughout the struggles, we know that we are fighting our own battles, our own wars, and setting an example to our children that ANYTHING is possible if you have the COURAGE to dream.

What would happen if you did what you wanted to do? What would happen if you had the COURAGE to not conform? What would happen if you didn't feel guilty for "indulging" yourselves in something that would make you happy?

Well. . . . You might just be happy.

Connecting With Others - Video Included

2010-03-26T11:45:00.007-04:00

I read in the paper today a quote from Football legend Vince Lombardi. It read:

"People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or problems of modern society."

For us to effectively work together to solve the issues that weigh heavy on our hearts and minds, we need to learn how to communicate effectively. I will cover this more in the following video blog.

In this week's video blog, I discussed the importance of communicating effectively. Communicating properly is not unlike a race track. Information travels from individual to individual, hopefully taking a pitstop in the receiver's brain before continuing along the path (track) of communication. If the information does not stop for a "once-over' and possible quick tire change, the communication will fail to be effective. For those of you who are visual learners, here is a visual of what I mean:

Additionally, we need to appreciate the unique perspectives of others and realize that perception is fact to the person who is perceiving it. Once we realize that, and take a moment to re-examine how our words and actions might effect someone with a different vantage point or perception, we will become more sensitive to the needs of others, and in turn a better communicator, motivator, leader, companion, spouse, parent, or friend.

The Religion of Niceness

2010-03-25T12:43:00.004-04:00

I was raised Roman Catholic by a mother who went to a Catholic elementary school, who would go to mass every day during lent, and who made sure that we did not miss a week of mass - even if we were on vacation in Disney World! The term "Catholic Guilt," while overused, if not cliched, was and still is alive and well.

As my wife and I raise our children, like most parents, we begin to analyze and question the traditions, actions, and dogma attached to our own childhood. We were raised in different neighborhoods, by different parents, with different sets of priorities. Neither one of us would call our childhoods perfect, nor would we call them bad. They were what they were and we have been molded into adults as a result. So now two people with two different upbringings are to come together to create and raise a new family, with a unique set of experiences born from the support or disdain for the way our parents raised us.

What we did have in common was an indoctrination of kindness. The lesson of treat others nicely, fairly, and honestly.

My mom would call this being a "Good Christian" Really she meant a "Good Catholic." I call it being a good human being.

I currently have, or have had in the past, co-workers, acquaintances, and friends who were/are Catholic, Buddhist, Hindu, Lutheran, Muslim, Protestant, Episcopalian, Greek Orthodox, Jewish, Born Again, . . . etc. I also have/had those in my life who were/are Agnostic and/or Atheist.

What is funny to me, is you never hear people referred to as "Good Buddists," "Good Jews," or "Good Atheists." Christians LOVE to say that they are "Being Christian." What does that mean?

My younger daughter is about to receive her First Holy Communion. She has been going to CCD (Church School) for a couple years to lead up to this event. With all the PG-13 action that happens in the bible, chances are she really does not understand what her faith is based on. She just wants to "Get the wafer." I view this event as a rite of passage for her, for she will be able to fully participate in the mass. Another sign of our baby growing up, but I'm not feeling the "rush" my mother is regarding this event.

The amount of meetings I have attended leading up to this really brings me to question the entire process. My mother feels you "Have to believe in something, otherwise what is the point of this life. God put you on this Earth so you can earn your place in Heaven." EARN my place in Heaven.?

COME ON!!!

The woman who runs the CCD program told the children that they can be friends with Jesus again, once they went to confession. Because a seven-year-old might have been sassy to her sister (which she can be) or to her parents (which she isn't) Jesus is not her friend right now?

COME ON!!!

My father says that you need to go to church because Jesus gave his life and the least you could do is give him one hour a week. My dad is known to fall asleep during the homily (sermon). I can nap in my living room just the same. You are not suddenly a good person because you go to church. It doesn't make you a "Better Catholic" because you go to church. I used to sit with people in church who are now in jail for extortion, murder, drugs, and so-called organized crime. Are they suddenly "Good Catholics" because they went to church and put some cash in the collection box? Are they "Better Catholics" than me because they went to church in between not-so-nice activities?

COME ON!!!

There are other stories of blind faith and the silly man-made rules that go along with organized religion that I have recently dealt with, but I think you get the point I'm getting to.

Some Others' Thoughts on Religion:

Edgar Allen Poe: “All religion, my friend, is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry”

Thomas Jefferson: "Religions are all alike -- founded upon fables and mythologies"

Jesse Ventura: “Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers.”

I am not as bold as those men to subscribe to such damning of one's beliefs. I have a good friend who is a devout Christian (NOT Catholic) who finds great solace in the sense of community his church brings him. His church does not have the rules and rituals found in the faiths of the Catholics, Muslims, Jews, or Greek Orthodox, etc. It is a place where he meets with like-minded "GOOD" people who care about the welfare of others. They do it in the name of Jesus Christ, which is what seems to binds them. I used to attend meetings about THomas Edison regarding innovation and education. Thomas Edison was what bound us. My friend is a GOOD person who cares about others. Being there makes him feel good. Anything that make you feel complete, that does not do you nor another individual harm, is alright by me. However, wars are waged, and prejudice abounds in the name of God. It is GOD's fault we go to war or slander our neighbor . . .?

COME ON!!!

I DO believe in something. That belief is in myself and my loved ones and in perpetuating kindness and love throughout the world. I believe in taking care of our planet, and of encouraging people to follow their passion to make the world and their lives better.

I believe in being A GOOD PERSON. . . . A GOOD HUMAN BEING!! Good to all, regardless of their race, creed, or sex, or sexual preference.

I propose a global religion based on Kindness, or what we call here as THE NICENESS INITIATIVE . . . . just BE NICE!

I don't know if there is a life after the one we have right now, I am only certain that at this moment in time I am keying into my MacBook in sunny New Jersey on an Earth that I have inhabited for the past 42 years. I am in NO rush to see if my mom or anyone's mom who subscribes to the fear and superstitions associated with religion are correct. I support stem cells, and hope that they allow me to live to be 250 years old. If there is a heaven, I'd imagine that after 250 years, my wife would become an instant saint, if she hasn't already.

If there is a heaven, I will apologize to God, and he will forgive me, because I was told that is what he does. =) If I've lived a good life, he will forgive my lack of faith founded in my need for concrete proof. I will have it, I will apologize, he will forgive me, and I'll get myself a new Mac and blog about it - I am SURE, if there is a God, he/she uses a Mac. . . =)

AMEN. . . . Ooops, I mean. . . THE END. . . =)

Say "Adios" to save schools

2010-03-22T14:53:00.003-04:00

Everyone in NJ is talking about their concerns regarding Governor Chris Christie's budget, its impact on education, and in turn our homeowner's taxes. I am not one who voted for Christie, nor do I seem to be a big fan of his delivery and many political views; however, as a former member of the "business" of public education, I agree that something needs to be done. YES, it is a business, and I believe we need to start treating it like one instead of a public service or municipal service. I am not saying that the police, public works, town halls, and fire departments should not be viewed as businesses, but today I am only commenting on the statewide uproar by parents, teachers, and administrators with regards to the impending budget difficulties.

Those of you who have been loyal readers and have provided me with AWESOME feedback, (both critical and supportive) probably expect that I believe I have the solution. I don't think it is as drastic as making Wyoming the "Welfare State," but it is dramatic.

There is a lot of waste in education, and I find that there are three areas that could help district get through there budget woes. These fixes are long-term, moderately timed, and short-term in nature.

Long-Term fix - ABOLISH TENURE: In what other industry are people guaranteed jobs after three years and one day? The removal of a tenured employee can cost a district hundreds of thousands of dollars. As a result, most districts will hide an ineffective tenured teacher instead of doing what is right by children and replacing them with a more dynamic and usually less expensive replacement. I liken it to a professional baseball. In their prime, superstars like Bernie Williams made $15 million a year. As he aged and it came time to resign him, he was offered a dramatically different deal that was appropriate for his deteriorating skills. He chose to go home and start a new career as a jazz guitarist.

I believe that teachers should not get an automatic raise and get paid more because they have seniority. Those who continue to excite children, develop innovative instructional models, and continue to improve on their abilities as a teacher, should get the higher salary. I will dedicate a later blog to the life-cycle of a teacher, but for now I will say - TENURE BREEDS MEDIOCRITY. Why pay for mediocrity? Pay a teacher what he/she is worth, not some bloated salary earned through the marking of time, not the inspiring of children. When they fail to inspire children, they should go find their own careers as "jazz guitarists."

This doesn't have to be a long-term fix, however, the unions will make this type of real reform difficult. Proving that they have lost sight of the purpose of education. Education was intended to prepare our children, not offer paychecks to burned-out teachers (most of whom are the local union officers).

Moderately-timed Fix - Regionalize Small Districts: The amount of money spent on the management/administration of a school district is staggering. The bloated salaries of a superintendent, assistant superintendents, business administrators, and in some cases human resource directors are insane. Add to that the assistants that they have and the budgets required to maintain their nicely furnished offices, lunch meetings, etc. There are small K-8 districts and there are small regional high school districts, that each have central offices. Each are duplicating budgetary numbers - taxpayers' funds. As a student I was part of the big city model of Newark, as well as the regional model of East Hanover/Hanover Park Regional. Currently, we live in a K-12 district, which we purposefully were looking for. One district, managing 8 schools, from K-12.

In a K-12 district, your curriculum, administrative staffing, and tax dollars go to one articulated program that directs the learning and development of its students throughout their pre-secondary education. In the Hanover Park Regional District, which is made up of two high schools, it is fed by the East Hanover, Florham Park and Whippany/Hanover Twp/Cedar Knolls districts. The high school superintendent is in charge of two (2). . . yes TWO schools, who have principals really managing the buildings. He also has an assistant superintendent and a business administrator, and buildings and grounds department for. . . . . TWO schools. The other districts have the same administrative makeup. Each district is probably spending, and this is a conservative number, an average of $900,000.00 per year. Over the region, that is in excess of 3.6 million. If there was only one crew to handle the region, not only would the curriculum be articulated - which it currently is not - and the high school program would be stronger, but each district would save nearly 700,000.00. That is without considering the reappropriation of the administrative office space back to instructional space in each district. The result, a stronger instructional program and a more fiscally responsible regional district.

Obviously this is the mid-term choice because we would have to figure out who gets to be superintendent, business administrator, etc. It would take a transition period and plan to make it work effectively. By the way, the students (who are the important ones here) wouldn't need a transition period, it would be the fat-cat administrators that would need it - because they do NOTHING quickly. Otherwise, we could realize that savings NOW.

AND NOW. . . THE OVERNIGHT SAVINGS!!

REMOVE WORLD LANGUAGE INSTRUCTION FROM CURRICULUM.

Nothing is more ridiculous to me than forcing students to sit through two, sometimes three years of a world language requirement. How many of us remember any of the Spanish, French, Italian, or German that we learned in high school, and subsequently were forced to take again in college? We probably remember silly phrases that we were taught but not enough to converse with someone in that language.

I do not want to hear that it makes us more culturally responsible or "classy" to study a world language, or that if we don't we will fall behind the rest of the world.

The rest of the world is taking two languages and LEARNING ENGLISH. Do you know why? Because it is OUR native language. It is the International language, proof by the fact that ALL air traffic controllers, worldwide, must know how to speak English.

Why have a world languages department? We can offer extension courses in world languages online for those who are truly interested, and those could be extra-curricular at the expense of the student - proving true interest. Maybe a revenue generator for a district or a savvy start-up.

INSTANTLY you pick up the budgeted numbers of a FULL DEPARTMENT, including the supervisor's bloated salary. With an average of 8 teachers per department and a supervisor, we are looking at a savings of 500,000.00 right there - plus the classroom space, budget for instructional materials, benefits, etc.

Yes, I realize these people lose their jobs. If they are qualified teachers, they can teach at the university level, they can be part of the new industry we just created by getting rid of their departments (online world language institutions), they can get work as interpreters , or they can get re-certified and teach something of worth, like English, Math, or Science.

So I say, stop crying about the budget decrease and say goodbye to tenure, administrative fat, and world languages.. . .or should I say. . . "ADIOS" =)

Won't you be My Neighbor

2010-03-19T10:37:00.005-04:00

This week we are going to try something new. Now that I have appeased my business managers by blogging, they now want me to add video to it. So today we will have our first V-Blog. It was kind of fun and didn't take too long to do. If I am going to continue to blog I don't want to spend more than an hour on a particular entry. I decided to forgo the urge to use our high-end production facilities, tools, and capabilities and make this more of a guerilla video. I may use my Flip from time to time, but this was recorded and edited right in my MacBook (NO, not a MacBook Pro. . .LOL)

I hope you all enjoy it.

In addition to the video, I would like to recognize Mister Rogers and dispel some of the urban legends about him. To this day, as I re-read his work on child development, and watch his mannerisms on DVD, I am humbled by the peace and earnestness he brought to his craft.

Here are some untruths that people love to bring to my attention (as if they are providing me with trivia I was not aware of. . .LOL )

TATTOOS - NO, Fred Rogers does not wear sweaters because his body is covered in tattoos. The sweaters were handmade by his mother. As a matter of fact, one of them hangs in the Smithsonian. Proof of this tattoo legend can be found in the Documentary - Mister Rogers America's Favorite Neighbor. In the program he is seen doing his daily swim. Clearly NO tattoos.

WAR HERO - Sorry, Fred Rogers went from college, where he was a music major, to working behind the scenes in public television. He later went back to school to become a minister. His church became the living rooms of America in his daily show.

SEXUALITY - Come on now! Because a man is NICE, we question his sexuality? Fred Rogers was a happily married man with two sons. I have had the pleasure of speaking with people who worked with him on a daily basis and they confirm that the niceness you witnessed on TV was not an act - it was authentically Fred Rogers.

DID YOU KNOW?

Fred Rogers single-handedly saved Public Television. It was his testimony in 1969 that melted the cold heart of a cranky Senator. Without him, we may not have had the opportunity to enjoy, not only his program, but the wonderful PBS programs we still watch today. Could you imagine growing up without Sesame Street? It might have happened.

Here is a video of that.

So thank you Mister Rogers for making it all right to be nice, for making it all right to say hello to your neighbors, for saving public television, and for making us all feel special.

Happy Won't You Be My Neighbor Day Everyone.

BTW - Here is the link to the Official Neighbor Day Site:

http://www.fci.org/neighbor/

A Little Help HERE!

2010-03-17T10:04:00.003-04:00

I have watched in utter heartbreak the homes of neighbors and friends, the businesses of my own wife and others get destroyed by what now appears to be a surprise hurricane over the past weekend. Last night a reported 200,000 people were still without power and/or were unable to get to their homes, and some people will not be able to even get to their homes until tomorrow. Even with the difficulty they have faced this weekend, this is only the beginning. As the water subsides and streets begin to look normal again, the lives of these people will be far from normal. Water has destroyed their homes and everything in them as well as their businesses and everything associated with them.

So, I am combing through the Internet searching far and wide, and I can't seem to find an outpour of aide for these poor people. Homeless, without food and clothing, possibly without a way to earn a living. . . Oh. . . that's right, we are still helping people in Haiti and Chile. I guess we will have to get in line behind New Orleans. . . Ooops, I forgot, they must be OK because they aren't in the news anymore. . .

Maybe because we aren't a third world country that doesn't have a government with a pot to piss in we are not "Sexy" enough to help. Who wants to help those who are from Wayne, Pompton Lakes, Fairfield, Sussex, and the surrounding neighborhoods? They have front lawns and cars and running water and electricity. They have lived in the lap of luxury for years. Maybe it is time that they appreciate what it is like to be impoverished. BOLONEY!!

Our country is in a recession, most of these people are living check to check (If that) and I have seen NOTHING over the past 4-5 days remotely resembling the outpour we had for Haiti. Our governor just obliterated the budget, people are getting laid off, schools are losing money, and now these people are expected to fend for themselves.

So New Jersey is good enough to give you the Sopranos, Jersey Shore, the Cake Boss, the Housewives BS, Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Sinatra, Frankie Valli, etc.. . . With all it has given throughout the years, how about a little bit of appreciation?

Oh I forgot Haiti gave us Wycleff Jean. . .I guess we're even.

I'm waiting to hear from my wife about the damage to her kettlebell gym. She and her partner are going to assess the damages this afternoon.

A sad side note. The NJ homepage mentions nothing regarding helping our neighbors.
I did find this link that leads to a state page. Those who want to help might want to check out here:
http://www.state.nj.us/whattodo.shtml

Getting off the Prairie

2010-03-04T09:22:00.004-05:00

As a kid, I was a big fan of Little House on the Prairie. A slow-moving ongoing tale of a time since replaced by big cities, sprawling suburban towns, mini-malls, and the rest of the modern conveniences that makes up the average American community - unless, of course, you are Amish - but then you would not be reading this. . =)

The Ingalls family lived on a farm in Walnut Grove, MN. Their closest neighbor, Mr. Edwards, was a cart ride away, over the hill. To get to the "metropolis" of Mankato, which today is still a hub of the area, but not larger than West Orange, NJ, you needed to take a day's trip to get there. There was a train station there to help you get "somewhere else".

Life for the Ingalls must have been quite solitary. That is probably why they had the three girls and adopted Albert. Back then, the family made up most of the human contact you had. No electricity - tv, radio, etc. You had no next-door neighbors, so you would have to make a real effort to get to know your community members.

I met a man yesterday at a soccer dinner. He is a neighbor of mine. He lives about a block away - maybe 13 houses separate our homes. He and the 13 other families, not to mention the people who live across the street from them all live closer to me than Mr. Edwards lived to the Ingalls. Funny enough, to this neighbor, until recently, I was the guy with the black Prius. I didn't have a name. To me, he didn't exist. I never saw him before, and there was nothing unique about his home (like having the first hybrid in the neighborhood). To me, that is an interesting observation of the modern community?

We go about our daily lives interacting with our families, and not much anyone else. We talk with our neighbors (sometimes) because they are attached to us either by property, or line of site (they live across the street). We have telephones, email, texting, iChatting, and the like. We have no apparent need for our neighbors. We seem to have secluded ourselves in a way that is not unlike the Ingalls; however, we have hundreds of neighbors taking up the farmland that separated them from Mr. Edwards. We, on the other hand, have the power of ignoring. A neighbor drives by, and you are suddenly busy looking at something; you are walking down the street and suddenly there is something very interesting in the trees that your gaze will be fixed on; or as you stroll through the park, you will see people having "important" conversations on their cells. All of this to avoid real human contact with a neighbor. God forbid we make eye-contact, drop out a smile, or say "hello."

As you know, we recently got a new puppy. The puppy will allow me the ticket to reconnect with others in my neighborhood in what the neighbor I met last night called "the butt-sniffing crowd". I allow my dog to sniff the butt of another dog, and my neighbor allows the same. In the meantime, pleasantries are exchanged. No avoidance of contact, looking at the trees, etc. The dogs act as moderators of human contact and interaction.

Maybe, in addition to the family bonding, and forced exercise that having a puppy inspires, it also will allow us an invitation to say hello to our neighbors. I am not suggesting the development of Fred Flinstone/Barney Rubble friendships, I am suggesting, however, the recognition of our neighbors beyond the cars they drive. Otherwise, we are no more connected than Charles and Caroline Ingalls were to the rest of Walnut Grove (probably less).

The Modern Ghost Town

2010-02-15T12:37:00.005-05:00

This weekend we received some sad news that was not all that surprising. Our local Borders Book Store is closing. Not like the closing of Linens and Things (Which forced me to look elsewhere for "things" - who really buys all that much linen?), or the closing of the Rag Shop, where I would buy all of my fabric for building puppets, this is not a chain-wide closing. It is just the one on Rte. 10 in Livingston that is closing. The landlord raised the rent. Could you imagine this, the same landlord who lost a VERY busy Old Navy Store, and a Big Electronics store, was now going to be putting up another vacancy to match the dozens of ones that line Rt. 10 in Livingston and East Hanover, NJ?

Once upon a time, some 25+ years ago, Rt. 10 was not the busy shopping center it was built to become. There were farms, swamps and forests. A store was not as common as a cow. Today, there are more storefronts than trees on Rt. 10, and most of those stores have Vacancy signs.

About 6 months ago I was trying to figure out what project I could do with the awesome Flip Camera I received from my ladies for Fathers Day. At that time, I was helping my wife and her business partner put together their Kettlebell Gym, about 6 miles down the road from my office. I spent an inordinate amount of time driving to their place on Bloomfield Ave., as well as going to the Home Depot on Rt. 10. As I sat at the light where the now CLOSED Gibbs College stood, I could see building after building of empty windows. No life at all. A fan of the western movies, it brought the picture of a ghost town. I was waiting for some tumbleweeds of paperclips to blow across the road from the abandoned Office Max, or some outdated auto stickers from one of the handful of barren auto dealerships to ominously slap into my windshield. The same could be said for the stretch of Bloomfield Ave. from Fairfield to Verona.

At this time (not unlike today), everyone was still talking about unemployment, the economy, the so-called stimulus package that bailed out the rich bankers, who screwed up the first time, but did not encourage them to help the little guy struggling at all. I do not usually write songs that are political at all, although I have MANY political opinions, views, and plans. I produce wholesome family entertainment; however, this scene inspired me differently, and became the first project I would do with my Flip Camera. I wrote and produced a music video titled Ghost Town.

I didn't really do anything with it. I posted it on YouTube for fun, and forgot about it, until this past weekend. After leaving Borders, for probably the last time, the family and I drove down Rt. 10 to see that no progress at all had been made. As a matter of fact, there seemed to be more vacancies than ever. So I decided that I would mourn the death of yet another storefront in our area by sharing the music video with you. The lyrics are below the video in this blog.

I am still seeing new construction going up all over Livingtson and the surrounding towns. What makes people think that these stores are going to be rented, while the others stay vacant?

I once I thought, maybe if the politicians see this, they will figure out how to bring life back to our towns. Well. . . they will if it gets them re-elected. =)

The old saying goes, it is the insane person who continues to do the same thing, the same way, and expects a different outcome. As Susan Powter, the crazy spiky-haired fitness advocate from the late 90s put it - STOP THE INSANITY! I say we knock them all down and bring farming back to our area. I'll take a plot!

ENJOY THE VIDEO

Ghost Town

Words and Music by Randy Rossilli, Jr.

When you live outside your means

And stretch yourself beyond your reach

You’re setting yourself up to take a mighty fall.

You put your faith in Wall Street

That fake money marketplace.

Where in the blink of an eye you might just lose it all.

Another neighbor just put up a sign they can’t seem to make ends meet.

There but for the grace of God, this could happen to me.

CHORUS:

Now this whole place is ghost town

The bank foreclosed and has shut it down

Empty parking lots and vacancy sign are all I can see.

This whole place is ghost town,

The big box stores have all moved out

All thats left are skeletons and monuments of progress and greed

In this concrete Ghost town

I remember when this town

was full of open fields

Seemed like the grass went on forever.

Now the land is empty again

But cracking concrete all I see

Surrounded by barren black top fields

Who decided we needed another new mini mall.

They want to build it next to the vacant one they had to close last fall.

CHORUS:

Bridge:

So they gave out some stimulus, but to where I can’t tell

The rich keep getting richer and the rest seem bound for. . . Well . . . .

CHORUS

In this concrete, black top, empty shop, dilapidated, ruin filled, overgrown, weeded covered, litter trashed, eco-killin, oil spillin, money bleeding, pollution feedin’ Ghost Town.

Bringing In A New Pet - Part 2

2010-02-12T09:56:00.001-05:00

I will title this entry - "Welcome to Insanity"

Well. . . we got our first family puppy. We adopted it from a wonderful shelter in East Hanover, NJ - Mt. Pleasant Animal Shelter. I couldn't recommend them any more confidently or say enough wonderful things about them as an organization. If you want a new pet, call them: njshelter.com. Holly, the name we finally agreed upon - after Billie, Magic, Casey, Mystic, Lucky (for obvious reasons - people should call ME lucky now) and a collection of names recommended by family, friends, and FaceBook friends - was brought in from a high-kill shelter in Maryland.

After her first two days with us, she might have opted for the fate of staying in Maryland =)

To say that our children are a little excited, would be like saying Shaq is a little tall. Between our girls trying to train them like they see Victoria Stilwell do on Animal Planet, the two cats, $100 worth of toys that the kids want to teach her to play with all at once, and two snow days, Holly's first days have been a bit busy to say the least.

If she doesn't develop a twitch, it will be amazing to me.

As I write this, she is snuggling and snoring on

her rainbow bed at the Nightstand Creation offices, worn out and thrilled that the kids are at school.

We have had some luck regarding the cats. Nala hissed at Holly, but kept her claws in, and Simba came by for a little Catnip fix and got within 18 inches of Holly. I am not sure at this time if they will all be buddies, but I can tell you that I feel pretty confident that Holly does not view them as playthings. She whines and howls (I think there is a little hound in her family tree) for ten minutes at night then goes to sleep right away in the crate. The cats are back upstairs with us and are terrorizing our feet as if nothing has changed. With Holly being only 3.5 months old, we are still trying to find a pee-pee rhythm, so we have had a handful of accidents. I am glad we waited to get the new rugs and furniture. All in all, progress is being made and we are loving her more and more every minute.

Today I put her car harness on and belted her into the car to do morning drop off and bring her into the office with me, which will probably be a very common thing. She was awesome in the car and did not get nervous at all. By the end of the trip, she was curled up on the seat and enjoying Barry Manilow's Weekend in New England =)

I know what you are all saying. . .Rainbow bed, Manilow. . . .You are all correct, I'm bringing her up right! Enlightened, and exposed to the finer things. . . Giddyup!

I'll report on her progress again next week sometime. My next blog will be back to the normal randomness of Parenting, Education, Media, and the like.

Until then. . . .Woof. . . I mean, Peace!

Bringing In A New Pet - Part 1

2010-02-08T13:22:00.000-05:00

I remember 10 years ago when we brought home our first child, we had to introduce our daughter to our "original child" our shetland sheepdog, Jasmine. I brought home a blanket and hat with the baby's scent on it and snuggled with the 8 year old dog that we had doted on since we got her.

When my wife and daughter were to come home, my wife went in first and spent some time with Jasmine, then I came in with our new baby. Almost instantly, Jasmine became the baby's bodyguard and we had a fairly seamless transition.

Years have passed and Jasmine is no longer with us. We now have two cats (Simba and Nala), a bunny (Josie), and tomorrow we will be bringing home a 4 month old puppy, Holly. Time to call on the experience 10 years ago.

When you are an animal person, you can never have enough animals around you. My family and I are animal people. My wife fosters and rescues small woodland creatures, the girls and I work on a miniature horse farm in our spare times, we have eight different bird feeders in our yard, we hand feed the squirrels on our deck, and we all can't get enough of Animal Planet. Although we all love dogs, and I have been campaigning hard for one for almost two years now, there is that concern of how the 4 year old cats will respond. It was their house first.

So, for the past 3 or 4 weeks I have been combing the Internet looking for the best sites and videos to help with this transition and to ensure that the transition will be successful. I love my cats, but I REALLY want the dog.

Between my wife and I, we have had enough animal experience to make this successful. This will be a wonderful family project, that I think will also make for a good series of blogs to journal our progress. However, I am not naive enough to think that this is going to go as well as it did with the baby and Jasmine. It will take patience, time, and teamwork to make it happen. A fun family challenge.

So this is the introduction of a series of blogs that will follow from time to time, reporting on our progress, our successes, and our attempts that could have gone better - remember, Edison did not believe in failure, just ways things didn't work. =)

Wish us luck and look for future entries of our weekly series "Bringing in a New Pet."

Why my wife puts up with me, is a mystery even Dan Brown, with the help of Holmes and Watson couldn't crack. =)

What's in a name?

2010-02-06T08:14:00.000-05:00

The family and I are about to adopt a dog from our local shelter. I have been campaigning for a dog forever. We had Jasmine for 13 years, and after we lost her 4 years ago we went into mourning. We got our 10 year old a bunny (she was 6 then) and five months later we rescued two cats, Simba and Nala. I am no historically a cat guy, but I LOVE my cats. They are quirky and silly, but a cat is not the same thing as a dog.

Anyway, I have been searching for a couple months, and just recently we went as a family to meet a couple dogs. This week, the wonderful people at Mount Pleasant Animal Shelter met my family and interviewed me regarding the type of dog we wanted. The MOST important thing was that the candidate must get along with cats.

I was going into a meeting on Thursday night and my iPhone started barking. It was Jenn from the shelter calling (I gave them their own ringtone - what a nerd). She told me that she had gotten in from a high-kill shelter a couple candidates that met our requirements. I went the following afternoon and wanted to take her home with me instantly. We cat tested her and we tested her with other dogs. Her first tests were passed with flying colors. Afterwards we hung out and she just chilled by my leg for about an hour.

So I went home armed with some digital photos and showed my wife and then the girls. Her shelter name is Fiona, and I wanted to name her Billie - after the invisible dog on the A-Team, but that was meant to be. What followed was an insane obsession by our daughters (I wonder where they get that from? I guess they had to get something from me) trying to rename their prospective new family member.

It was easier naming our daughters.

How about:

Lacy, Dixie, or Trixie: Where's the stripper pole?

Ethel, Millie, Ester, or some other grandma name? =)

Peyton: why not Montana or Favre?

Hershey: Highway or squirts?

PLUS most of us know an Emma, Zoe, Abby, Jessie, Holly, etc. So you don't want people to think you were naming it after them (some might not find it complimentary)

So I decided to put it up on the FaceBook to see what we get back.

Naming your pet is more of a reflection on the family than it is on the dog. I think that what people name their pets says a lot about them. What does your pets' name say about you? Think about it. Did you name it after a favorite cartoon character, flower, month, time of year, ballplayer, . . . ? I find it to be a fun thing to think about as well as to think about those who you are friends and family with.

The Next American Idol

2010-01-30T09:22:00.001-05:00

SIMON: So why are you here?

CONTESTANT: I'm the next American Idol

VIEWERS AT HOME: Are you KIDDING ME?

American Idol is a study in Self-esteem. Nowadays, people seem uncomfortable with failure and providing critical feedback (unless they are American Idol judges). I remember distinctly growing up in a household that was fairly critical and competitive, during a time when it was alright to lose. My dad NEVER let me win a game of Candyland, Checkers, Chess, etc. When I played football and baseball the only time you received a trophy was when you won the championship. Growing up in that environment probably made me the competitive person I am today, as well as being very appreciative of times of victory. My daughters' rooms are filled with trophies and ribbons for "Participating" in soccer. My ten-year-old's soccer team did win the league championship two years in a row, and she received a trophy for that; however, she received an additional trophy that the rest of the league also received.

Why participation trophies? Some say, it makes everyone feel good, and like "a winner." I think it is coddling the children and having them lose out on the lesson of sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. There is a lot to be learned from losing. It does not have to feel like failure. It could and should be more like not succeeding. Thomas Edison was quoted as saying, when he was trying to prevent the incandescent lightbuld, "I have not failed, I have just found a thousand ways that don't work." He believed that the experience itself offered lessons that you could draw on in later experiments or experiences.

Back to American Idol

Like the proverbial train wreck, we watch, week in and week out, the regional tryouts to see who will be the next American Idol. There are some people I know who only watch the regional tryouts, then tune in come the last couple weeks. They like the "freak show" aspect and the final competition. Each year my wife and I watch religiously and laugh, shake our heads, and sometimes even cry with the rest of America as we watch people "follow their dreams." Our girls watch it the next day on DVR, because it airs too late, but they also love watching.

Far be it from me, especially considering the charmed life I lead, to comment on the dreams and goals of others; however, why do people come in and say "Everyone at work tells me I am a great singer." Is it their need to have 15 minutes of fame, even if it is to be ridiculed? Is negative attention better than no attention at all? People show up with their families supporting them. Are they asking Simon to do their job by telling their loved one - on national TV - that they are dreadful? Or are people being cruel and setting their "friends" up for failure (One would hope people wouldn't be that cruel)

It all right to not be great at everything. When we would play hockey at Lurker Park as kids, I would always volunteer to play goalie. I wasn't goalie because I wanted to wear the gear (although that was cool), or I wanted people slapping hard pieces of rubber at my privates. I played goalie because I was and continue to be a pretty poor skater. It was all right that I wasn't going to score a goal. Sometimes there would be someone who was a great goalie or a worse skater, and I would play defense. So what. I still had fun with my friends and enjoyed the camaraderie of playing in the game. There are things I do excel at, skating just is not one of them.

The same goes for our children. It is all right to have them participate in an activity and be mediocre. They will eventually find something they are passionate about and excel at.

"But Randy, the people who are going on American Idol are passionate about music and singing." I hear ya. However, because they are passionate about something does not necessarily mean that they are any good. Telling them they are will not necessarily be the best thing for their self-esteem. Sometimes it is easier to tell someone a private piece of truth, instead of stringing them along and having their false sense of ability.

This is Simon's last year on the show (so he says). So he won't be there to deliver unpleasant news =)

Telling the truth in a caring and tactful way may be what is best for your friends and loved ones; however, it may ruin America's favorite show. So what? A healthy, honest sense of self is more important than positive Neilsen Ratings any day.

Fanaticism and Life.

2010-01-25T07:44:00.000-05:00

Why did I wake up today in such a "funk?" Probably the same reason I was in a funk when I was brushing my teeth before bed last night. Football. No, I did not play (I haven't put on a helmet in over 22 years, and I hardly ever won back then). My favorite NFL team, which I have been following for over 35 years, just lost the NFC Championship. They lost a GAME, as I sat there in my horns, purple retro-80's- Zubas pants, Vikings boxers, and Vikings jersey - in New Jersey! They just finished playing A GAME, and I was sad.

I didn't lose any money (I don't gamble), nobody near or dear to me died or was hurt, I still had a beautiful wife and two wonderful children, and for a 42 year old, I'm pretty healthy. America is still Free, and I still have a place to go try to make a living. So why does this phenomenon of fandom have such an impact?

As a Vikings fan, I seem to go through this each and every year. I start training camp in the summer all excited and announce that "This is my year!" The season progresses, and on a Monday morning prior to Super Bowl Sunday, I end up going to work or school sad. Today it is raining to add to the melancholy.

Now, I know it is just a game, and that the Vikings or Yankees don't even know I exist, and that they look at it as more than a game, it is their job. That being said, why do we as fans get so emotionally involved?

Before you go on and make a rash assumption, this is NOT a guy thing. The Vikings played my wife's beloved 49ers this year and beat them in the last second of the game, and she had the same funk working for her for a couple days, so this is not gender-specific. (On a side note, how lucky am I, as a football fan, that my bride goes into a funk when her team loses? Too bad she's not a Vikings fan, or she would REALLY be perfect! LOL)

We all go out an buy our licensed apparel, throw pillows, and some really crazy people even get tattoos of their favorite team. We scream at the television, we wait on hold for 45 minutes to get a point across on our favorite sports radio program, we listen to sports-specific satellite radio stations dedicated to our favorite sport, and we start and end our days watching SportsCenter. As I write this, I look in my reflection in my Yankees clock and again ask, "Why"

The world will not be cured of hunger, disease, homelessness, unemployment, and crime if the Yankees win the series or the Vikings win the Super Bowl. I will not be richer (financially) nor will my family be better off. I ask again, "Why all the hype?"

Maybe its our need to be part of something bigger than us in a way that is actually viewable. Something that we can experience and witness firsthand. People tell me they attend church to be part of something bigger than they are, to be part of a community, but there are no licensed apparel for Team Jesus. Following Jesus' career is like following Muhammad Ali's boxing career - he will not be fighting on HBO this weekend, we know he won the "Thrilla in Manila" just like Jesus rose on the third day (depending on your creed - not trying to get religious here, just making a parallel) and Jesus will not be defending his title against Satan again in the spring. The Yankees, however, will have another opening day, another shot at the playoffs, and another shot at being the World Series Champion (for the 28th time).

Maybe it is not unlike those who enter into these fantasy worlds of second-life, Dungeons and Dragons, video games, etc., and use sports as a "fantastic" (Fantasy-based) release from reality. Maybe its the crazy camaraderie we experience connecting us with other people. When you go to a game live, you are high-fiving everyone in your section. For that 3 hours, you are part of a group. . . .you BELONG.

It could be that sense of needing to belong, or living vicariously through the trials of athletes doing what many of us dreamed of when we played wiffle ball in the back yard, or touch football on the street, that attracts us. Whatever it is, it touches us in places that are unique to any other experience in our lives. Being a fan connects us to the world in an unusual and very safe.

So for a fleeting moment when our team wins we have a rush of what it feels like to be a winner - the thrill of victory, or when they lose, the agony of defeat. However, unlike those athletes who have dedicated their lives to their sport, and have been able to rise to the heights of having fans, we will quickly come back to reality and live our lives without any lasting affects of our victory or our defeat. Back to our lives anonymity.

Maybe, just maybe, we will be inspired by the efforts of these men and women we cheer for, to excel in our own lives to be world-class teachers, parents, writers, doctors, (or whatever we do). Hopefully their efforts and passion will inspire us to become champions in our own lives. Whether its the story of the 40-year-old quarterback defying the odds, or the city whose team's success has helped them heal as a community from Hurricane Katrina -somewhere in the game there are lessons for us to apply to our lives. We only need to look beyond the final score and the "winners/losers" and find them.

Maybe that is the purpose of sports and of fandom. To connect us with others who share a passion for something that can inspire us to rise to heights of world-class performance.

This morning, I will lick the wounds from my team's defeat last night. I will put away my Vikings gear for another year, and go out and try to be the best father, husband, person, American, I can be, inspired by the great efforts these men demonstrated. The lessons of teamwork, fortitude, and community that lie beyond the game.

Maybe next year will be "Our Year" That is the beauty of sports. . . there is always another chance. . . Always a "Next Year."

Uh Oh, Kids are Using Technology

2010-01-21T13:04:00.000-05:00

Here we go again, ANOTHER study. This week, the most ridiculous study has been reported in just about every media outlet I visit. I heard it on Sirius Satellite, I saw it on the news, I read it in several news releases online, it has been emailed to me by friends who know my passion for the subject, and I even READ IT IN A NEWSPAPER. Remember them? Made from trees, recycled every two weeks, or used on the bottom of your pets' cages? Yes, I still read the paper three or four times a week. What else am I gonna do on the toilet. . . I guess I could Tweet, but that would be too silly. . . tweeting while I'm Tooting! (Corny, but I couldn't resist it.)

The study, funded by the Kaiser Family Foundation, reports on the increase of technology used by youth, and its seemingly negative effect on their progress as students. The report - Which is getting A LOT of press is the result of studying 2002 kids aged 8-18. In a country of approximately 74 million kids covering that age range, we are going to take stock in a study that is comprised of 2002 people? That is 0.000027 % of the population, but luddites (haters of technology and the changes it brings), and those teachers who have been "Teaching the same way for 30 years" will revel in this.

Check out the ridiculous chart on the right here to get a glimpse of the general results of the study. I can't believe that someone actually funded this report. I don't even want to know what it cost. I could have saved them a lot of time and money and made four or five phone calls and come up with the same results.

Considering that the iPod - THE MP3 player, was not released until 2001, OF COURSE more people have one today. Kids had walkmen and boomboxes before that, so why wouldn't they have an MP3 player.

I didn't get a cell phone until 1999, and only used it in case of an emergency. NOW, my iPhone is a mini computer that I can text, surf the Internet, take pictures with, OH. . . and it is an MP3 Player! (not to mention a portable movie player too.

Lastly - regarding this chart - with all of the time they seem to be spending on the computer, in front of the television, texting, and using other technology, they only spend 5 minutes less reading print publications. . . . 5 MINUTES!?!? I wonder how many minutes they spend reading online? Do you think it is more than 5 minutes? Hmmm Here is your headline:

KIDS ARE READING MORE - Just not paper-based books , papers, and magazines.

. . . . .5 Minutes. . . (head shake in despair)

OF COURSE kids are using more technology. More technology is available. How many more people are blogging and reading blogs today? Hey, I am writing one and you are reading it - Thankfully =) It makes me think of a funny parallel.

1913 Henry Ford put into operation the first assembly line for automobiles. They could build a Model-T in 90 minutes. I wonder if there was money wasted on a study of how many more cars there were on the road in 1919, or BETTER YET, the increase of automobile accidents from 1909 to 1919. . . DUH. . . Yes, I said "DUH"

Here are some of the so-called "Key findings"

With my comment followed in italics:

-Children ages 8 to 18 are now spending more than 53 hours a week (7:38 hours/day) using entertainment media. Ten years ago, that figure was 43 hours a week.

• We would hpe that those extra two hours are happening in school and our students are being taught to communicate and learn in our new technology-driven society.

-Television still dominates among young people, followed by music, computers and video games. TV watched online and over phones has contributed to television viewing.

•The operative word. . . STILL. . . OK No change here.

-Kids spend 38 minutes a day reading a print publication, compared to 43 minutes a day 10 years ago.

• Already commented on this WOW! 5 minutes. . . .Come on!

-Nearly seven in 10 youth have a cell phone, compared to four in 10 a decade ago. Those kids are using mobile phones for music, videos and other entertainment more than for talking.

•SO, the phones have more features which replace other items they used to carry around. . . Earth-Shattering!!!!

-When parents want to restrict or reduce media use, they can. But few parents enforce the rules they set.

• Point. . . . Got one?

-Nearly half of all heavy users of media platforms have C grades or lower, compared to 23 percent of light users.

• Most technology users have been traditionally viewed as "Nerds" so now half of them are and half of them aren't. Silly. . . .just silly

AND THE DUMBEST "FINDING"

-The biggest users of media are black and Hispanic youth in their early teen years

• WHAT??? - Nuff Said. . . . Where did they get their sample from, an urban school in Essex County New Jersey. I am sure, if we went to suburban Morris County, NJ we can find a sampling of 2002 students who are not black nor hispanic, use technology the same amount as the test stated, and are getting A's in school.

My point in all of this is to not only poke fun at the waste of money on an inane study and let's not take studies as being universal fact. Take the time to read the backstory of the study before you go to a party or are sitting in your company's break room and you say "You know . . .kids today. . . they are obsessed with technology. . . when I was a kid. . . AS A MATTER OF FACT, there was a study I heard about that blah blah blah. . . ."

I am hopeful that kids are embracing the new technologies, and that eventually, content developers and teachers will learn to harness the power of technology to empower our children to develop more of it.

CARE TO READ THE FULL 70+ PAGE REPORT? Click here:

http://www.kff.org/entmedia/upload/8010.pdf

Wyoming - The Welfare State

2010-01-19T10:23:00.000-05:00

I have shared this plan with family and friends and have received mixed reviews. Usually those who are not conforming members of a political party are in support, and those who are staunch party members call me a radical. Well as a non-party affiliate AMERICAN I take their label as "a radical" as a great complimen. Once upon a time Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and Ben Franklin were all viewed as being a little radical too. My plan, although a little unique, will not only save us money, but will make our country more productive.

My plan is to move everyone who receives welfare to Wyoming. YES - WYOMING. No, I am not proposing concentration camps, nor am I proposing slave labor reservations. If you think about it, we have done with our poor, exactly what we did with the indigenous people (Native American Indians) - we have relegated them to reservations. We don't call them reservations, we call them housing projects or trailer parks. I shared with you my experience in the inner city projects and how welfare was becoming the "family business." The current model is that we are offering money for nothing. I have known people who would not look for jobs because, if they made too much money, they would lose their welfare benefits. They figured that the difference between their welfare checks and their employment checks was not enough for them to actually HAVE TO go out and go to work. They would rather not have to be somewhere and just collect their check. A unique conundrum.

Not anymore - you want a check? Go to Wyoming. Randy you can't do this.. . .You're CRAZY.

REALLY? I believe, if I ran for president with welfare reform and the renaissance of American productivity as my platform, I might only lose two electoral votes - Wyoming. Maybe not. The increase of population may gain them a larger tax base and additional representation in congress, so they might even vote for me too.

Why Wyoming, and what are we going to do once we get there?

Wyoming is a landlocked state almost in the center of the country. It is also the least populated state. Both of these items are important.

Item 1 - Life is NOT a beach:

The bulk of our country's poor is located on the coasts and/or near our major metropolises. So, not only do they receive the "free check," they get to spend their days of non-work near a beach or near our cultural centers. Lets pay people to go to the shore, or hang out in the theater district and municipal parks. Wyoming has no such shore, and is not really known for its theater district and museums =). If you want to receive your check you need to give up the beach and develop your own cultural arts district.

Item 2 - Earn that check.

In moving to Wyoming, recipients will be trained in a career that will benefit the country. With Wyoming being quasi-centrally located, and having vast farmlands, we will train people in farming, construction, and new technologies. We will send the first set of trainees to build towns (not housing projects), factories and roads that will house the soon to be relocated families. Careers in the production of alternative energy sources - turbines, solar panels, REAL electric/solar cars, alternative fuel sources, etc. will be farmed, manufactured and distributed from Wyoming. The great grid that our president has alluded to will be centralized and created out of Wyoming. We will offer people training in positions that will benefit their new community. From sanitation workers to teachers to police officers and independent business owners, we will offer them an opportunity to earn the checks we are currently giving them for free. Wyoming would become the hub of innovation and the state whose farms feed the world and fuel the country.

I am sure American industry would be more than willing to assist in the creation of factories, railroads, and townships. Think of what Milton Hershey did in Pennsylvania. Disney also envisioned EPCOT as a real city - not a theme park. It was to be the Experimental Prototypical Community Of Tomorrow (EPCOT). We might have Pepsi, Wyoming, whose High School's rivals are Coca Cola Regional. You may see the birth to two technology towns Apple, Wyoming, and its rival Microsoft Falls, Wyoming. The Grammy's would be held at the state of the art iTunes Theater in the heart of Pixar, Wyoming.

Item 3 - But Randy, I don't want to go.

You have choices. 1. You get a job in the current region you are in and pay your own rent, 2. you get your check and are placed in a new career opportunity and restart of your life in Wyoming, or 3. You leave the country. You don't get your cake and eat it too. You earn your check or you become a productive member of society. The current housing projects will be either upgraded or knocked down and replaced (sounds like new jobs right there) and will be converted into condos that those who decided to not go to Wyoming will have an opportunity to purchase. If you do not go to Wyoming or get a job that will allow you to afford the home, you will be homeless - which will be unacceptable. Homeless shelters will no longer be available, because we will not have any homeless people. There is a home for everyone - in Wyoming. The other option you have is to relocate yourself to another country. We will pay for a one-way ticket to another location in the world, where you will then give up your U.S. citizenship and the items you leave behind will be auctioned off to counter the expense of your flight or ship passage.

Item 4 - How are we going to pay for this?

We already are paying for it. Now, we will get something out of it. We will no longer have to outsource our factory production to China or Mexico. We will develop a fair wage scale and quality of life for those participating in the Wyoming project. Production of goods will not be inflated because we will make it illegal for unions to inflate the cost of production. We will have representation from the welfare recipients in a democratic board that will include leaders of industry, government officials, and the common man. A three house approach will be established - like the federal government - to ensure fair treatment of participants and to avoid the need for unionization. Picture it. . . our tax dollars going towards building our country's infrastructure and gross national product, instead of paying people to stay at home and watch Oprah, Wendy Williams, and SoapNet. Additionally, as formerly mentioned, we would be able to license out the naming of towns like we do our stadiums.

So there it - solving homelessness, welfare abuse, and our dependence on foreign manufacturing and power development. Obviously, I have other sub-plans regarding training and education but this is a blog - not a government paper - anyone get through that healthcare document yet? Talk about saving a tree =)

WELCOME TO WYOMING - WHERE EVERYONE GETS A FAIR CHANCE TO LIVE THE AMERICAN DREAM.

A Day ON, not OFF, for MLK

2010-01-18T10:10:00.000-05:00

I'm taking a break from our political weekend discussion and will shared with everyone my "Sure-to-be-popular" plan for welfare reform in tomorrow's posting. I was going to do it today, but I had a conversation with my daughters that made me rethink today's topic.

The children are off today to celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I always question school holidays like this - Columbus Day, Marin Luther King, President's Day (or once upon a time Lincoln and Washington's Birthday). After my conversation, and watching my children plan their day off, I don't know if my opinion has changed at all.

I asked them why we had off today. Their answer was very complete, as they parroted back their school lesson that "MLK was a great peace keeper who worked hard to gain equal rights for all people." "If it wasn't for him," my ten year old continued "then I wouldn't be able to be friends with black people." Interesting interpretation - if not for MLK, she couldn't have black friends. I wasn't about to get into a conversation regarding the superficiality of that statement - she is 10, and more naive than we give our 10-year-olds credit for. We sometimes lose track of the development of our children, and forget how we were at 10. It did bring us to a deep conversation about the perpetuation of our differences and possibly our prejudices. She didn't know that's what we were talking about. She just thought we were talking about school and her friends, which my wife and I do often.

I have always enjoyed history, and continue to consume it as a reader, perpetuate it as a writer, and can't get enough of it as a viewer, but sometimes I wonder what the value of recognizing the wrongs of generations past has for our children. Does studying the plight of segregation, that was not part of my own upbringing, have any validity in our current generation's lives? I was in elementary school, in Newark, in the 70's. With the Alexander v. Holmes County BOE ruling OFFICIALLY ending segregation in public schools (which was different from the separate but equal ruling garnered from Brown v. BOE of 1955) this victory and the rest of the Civil Rights Movement were as fresh to the adults in my young generation as the end of Vietnam to the next elementary school set, and the end of the cold war, Desert Storm, 9-11, and the first black president, would be for generations that would follow. Interestingly to note, if you ask an elementary school child about these events, their knowledge would have been or would be superficial generalizations of subjective opinions garnered from overhearing their parents talk.

Elementary school children are not of an age where they "care" about political or other worldly issues. They care about being happy and having friends and fitting in with their peers. You may be lucky, as my wife and I are, to have children who are sensitive to the needs of families who have less than we do, and to the mistreatment of animals. That is probably the most political insight or social change we can expect from our second and fourth grader. They feel bad for the kids in Haiti, but don't understand its impact from a global and/or societal standpoint. AND WHY SHOULD THEY. . . . THEY ARE KIDS!! Allow them to be kids and enjoy the wonder of being a child, while instilling in them the Golden Rule - Do Unto Others, As You'd Like Done Unto You. We teach them to be nice.

My girls are friends with children of various backgrounds - including, but not limited to, religious, family heritage, and skin tone. It is interesting to note that when they described their friends to me, they would never say "the black kid" the Indian Kid" "the Jewish girl" or "the Asian boy." They would say my friend from class, soccer, dance, or whatever they were involved in. When asked to describe their friend, it would take the third or fourth descriptor that would possibly give you the idea that they were of a different culture. They saw the kids as other kids - not as categories.

SO WHY TEACH THEM ABOUT DIFFERENCES? Kids ARE Kids.

I think it is important for us to respect and pay homage to the deeds and impact great people have had on society; however, instead of taking a day off from learning and discussing, lets have a special day of recognition and impact. Let's not have a day off of work/school, lets have a special "Day ON" at work/school.

I remember being a 28 year old supervisor proposing this at a meeting. Mind you I was 15 years the junior of any other person in my position, so it must have come across as the rantings of some young upstart. The superintendent, principals and other supervisors and I were going over the development of the master schedule for the following year, when I said, lets end or begin school a couple days later in September or earlier in June and pick up a couple of the random days like Presidents' Day, Columbus Day or MLK. The truth was, I liked teaching and thought it was more difficult to recover from a random off day then it was to have the kids coming in as usual. The day after and the Friday before Memorial Day (or any Monday holiday) was always difficult because of the excitement of the extra day off, the restart after a hiccup in the routine, and the impending four-day work week. Those of you who have been or are classroom teachers understand this energy. You would think I asked everyone to give up their paychecks. I must have been CRAZY. You then knew who the skiers were, who I was asking to give up an extra day on the slopes in January and February =). I did receive support from the Social Studies and English Supervisors, who saw the benefit of a special "Day On." They had MUCH more influence than I did and took the ball and ran with it, and the master schedule had a special day "ON" for MLK day - which was an optional day at the time. The skiers were pissed, but the educators were not. We held a day that in each class we discussed topics like fortitude, self-awareness, trust, tolerance, . . . etc. We discussed writings of those who made change and crusaded on behalf of others. The supervisors lead their team of teachers through wonderful activities allowing the students to apply their academics in tangible ways.

Later on, as a principal, I had the same opportunity to have a "Day On" for Veterans Day, where we offered activities that explored heroism and selflessness. It ended up being one of the greatest days in my educational carer.

Today, when you sit and talk with your children about their day, why not discuss the importance of the spirit of MLK. Don't discuss the plight of the blacks during the early-mid 20th Century. Don't put the idea that we have differences - because we really don't - into their heads. We are all humans . We are all Americans. The likes of AL Sharpton has made a career on keeping us separated - perpetuating the spirit of separation that plagued America during the 60's - 50 years ago - and not the innocence of what our children are experiencing, where kids are just kids, not a color, a race or a creed.

Let's think about having "Days ON" with our children, if our schools won't support us, and conform with the politicos who make the schedules. Let's celebrate:

Columbus Day by discussing or exploring new places with our children.

MLK Day by figuring out how we can use our lives to help others.

President's Day and Memorial Day by taking time to appreciate the great country we share and to find a way we can help perpetuate the positive qualities that keeps us the greatest country in the world.

We should not spotlight what separates us. On the contrary, we should appreciate and honor our differences as unique parts of the spectrum that makes up America. We are not a melting pot, but a spectrum of colors that should stand as the rainbow our children and grand children will someday travel over.

Happy MLK Day. Hope your dreams are clear to you today, and you get an opportunity to discuss with your friends, children, or neighbors his legacy.

Throwing "Coffee Money" at our Problems

2010-01-16T11:01:00.000-05:00

In my last blog, I "discussed," more like ranted about, the fact that we are so preoccupied with helping the people of Haiti, that not unlike an easily distracted preschooler who keeps the sink filling up and leaves the bathroom because Elmo's World came on, we once again take our focus off our own problems and go to the aide of others. So while we are helping the Haitian people, our own sinks are overflowing. When we finally return to the bathroom there is another mess for us to clean up.

One of my friends questioned what we are doing as a country. He said that my posting was "true to a point" but questioned the I allusion I made to the "teach a man to fish" adage. He said, "I ask, are any of us actively teaching fishing, and patching holes here?" then continued on another post with "This is how we 'help' our fellow Americans. 'Get a job!' 'Get off wellfare' 'Stop asking for healthcare!' 'Stop having kids!' I don't see many fishing poles. . . ."

I LOVE IT! I love the questions, I love the response, I love the his portrayal of the common man's reaction to the downtrodden and American "down on their luck."

Just like all of you, I spend a lot of time observing people, and trying to make a connection with them. It is hard to survive and be successful without making, at the very least, cordial connections. You can't be a successful actor, director, writer, performer, producer, teacher, social worker, police officer, parent, counselor, instructor, animator, etc. without observing people, understanding people, and trying to connect with people. For the most part, in my personal life, I am a solitary person, but I spend my days interacting with people as studies for characters I might write and/or play in a production we are working on.

Throughout my very eclectic experiences I have had professionally, including construction worker, flooring mechanic, horse whisperer (I mean trainer. . .LOL), music therapist, teacher, magnet school director, principal, animator, producer, performer. . . .etc. I have had the fortune of connecting with people of all walks of life and all types of backgrounds. These interactions make my current position as a writer/producer much easier. It also gives me a unique view of the human condition and of how people respond to various challenges and social issues. It has also helped me establish my personal philosophy as a parent, a husband, a businessman, and an American.

Is a fish out of water bound to eventually adapt, or will it just become dinner?

I remember being a middle school teacher in the projects of Paterson and Newark. A part of me wanted to adopt each of my students and expose them to an alternate way of upbringing. Then I would question, what would my bringing them to "the suburbs" (as I was in seventh grade) do for them? Would I be offering them an "easier" life, where there was less fear and therefore less need for the survival skills that they had been developing? Would I be doing more harm than good, by removing them from their natural "habitat"? Conversely, would my classmates in high school been better off if they experienced an exchange program to Barringer High School in Newark for a year? I'd be interested in exploring this further in future blogs and discussions, but it is not relevant in responding to yesterday's comments. Is a fish out of water bound to eventually adapt, like their amphibian cousins, or will that fish just become dinner?

I knew when it was "check day" (the day when the welfare checks arrived). The day after would have my students arrive in school with $150 sneakers, new "bling" and the latest in apparel and accessories. However, when lunchtime came, if they were not on free lunch, they would have a Pepsi and a Ring Ding packed. How were we supposed to expect these kids to have the focus and energy for the rest of the day (forget about the fact that they probably had the same thing for breakfast) with that "Lunch of Champions" The welfare check was spent like my daughter getting a gift card to Target for her birthday. She is not going to spend it in the food aisle or on getting new underwear, sock, or school supplies. She will spend it on a new DS cartridge, or a DVD, or some new Legos. That is OK, because it is a gift, and she is 10. The welfare check, however, is NOT a gift. It was designed to HELP a family get back on their feet and then get OFF welfare and become contributing members of society.

Welfare has become the new "family business."

When I asked my students what they wanted to do when they were older, they would say, "I don't know. Why do I have to do anything? I will probably collect like my mom and grandma." Not unlike the generations of distended-bellied villagers we have been sending our "coffee money" to for generations, welfare has become that free bowl of rice, that is being spent on Nikes, Gold, iPods, and Jay-Zee downloads.

So maybe my friend is right. Maybe we are not doing enough to help those in need. Maybe, as I think about it, we are just throwing "coffee money" at our own problems. Maybe it is time for us to figure out how to fix our roofs, and empower our people to revitalize the American society. We can change the channel when we see the "Save the Children" commercials, or we can figure out a way to make it unnecessary to produce the commercials. I still submit and support, that we need to feed our own before we save the world. Lets continue this discussion until we figure it out. Lets not be like public education, where we discuss topics and change, but never act upon it.

Our country was founded on the actions of a few patriots who moved the colonies to stand up and say "No More." My friends, it is time that we come up with a plan and WE do it.

It's the American Way.

Next Blog - A radical proposal for welfare reform. You guys will "love" this one.

We Are the World?

2010-01-15T16:44:00.001-05:00

And now what you all have been waiting for. . . . A little bit of contoversy

Here is what those of you who know me, or have known me are saying. "Yes, we know Randy tries hard to emulate Mister Rogers, and tries to inspire others to become the most fulfilled person they can, and he is OBSESSED with changing the way people teach, learn, and have fun, as well as the whole "Niceness Initiative," . . . . but we also know that Randy has "unique" opinions about politics, pop culture, and other topics.

So here it is.

We all grew up seeing the kids in the villages with distended stomachs, flies on their faces, and no food. Generation after generation of poor villagers procreating - perpetuating an already seemingly unsurmountable situation. Sally Struthers telling us that "For the price of a cup of coffee, we can feed this child." Gameshow legend Bob Barker (ironic last name) would remind us to spay and neuter our pets, to avoid over population. Why were we not, in addition to feeding these children, providing the adults and the future adolescents with birth control and/or spaying and neutering services (no, I do not think they are animals, so don't read anything into that - but you get my point).

Let's pull out another old cliche - "Give a man a fish and you feed him for today, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." How much of that coffee money was going into teaching people how to fish? How much of that coffee money was going into the production of those commercials and buying the airtime? We have been seeing those commercials for decades. Where are the kids we fed in the 70's? Are we feeding their kids and their grandkids?

Why am I writing about this? Haiti. I feel horrible for the tragedy that has befallen the island. I am also a big proponent of helping my fellow man (or animal). My wife and I have tried to raise our girls to think of others. They have a donate box that they put their change in, and they have started their own knitting club to raise money for the ASPCA. We donate to various charities and realize how fortunate we are. I wanted to preface that before my next statement.

So. . . I am assuming, since we are all jumping to donate money to Haiti that everything is fixed and back to normal in Louisiana. The mess from Katrina has been cleaned and everyone is back in their homes. I assume, since we are sending food to Haiti, that our homeless people have all been placed in a home and no children will go hungry tonight. I assume, since we are donating money to Haiti, that our unemployment rate has dropped and we have solved our "recession."

I feel bad for the people of Haiti, but the United States, according to 2009 statistics is the 6th - (SIXTH) check it again. . . . SIXTH!! wealthiest country in the world. Why are we jumping to help, and our own people are still hurting? Why are we feeding the world, and our own kids are hungry? Why are we fixing other disasters and we haven't completed fixing our own? I appreciate that in New York City there are 125,000 Haitian-Americans. However, in a country of 300 million people, that does account for .04% - that is four percent of one percent of the population.

I get Wycleff doing what he does. It is HIS country. . . . but George Clooney and Brad/Angelina. . .? . . . .timely PR? How about a telethon for America, George?

For that matter. . . how about IDOL GIVES BACK. . . to the U.S.?? It is called American Idol and they were building schools and providing supplies for village kids in a third-world country. That country has no budget, no income, no means of feeding its own people? If not, I am sorry, but we obviously don't have enough to take care of our own too. . . . .Or do they choose to spend their money on other items and expect the free ride from the Patsy. . . Ooops. . .I mean "Nice" American people who don't seem to receive the respect that we deserve worldwide.

I have an idea. . . .let's fix the roof on our own house before we plug the holes in our neighbors', who I don't see reciprocating.

Deep breath. . . . taking a deep breath. . . . Ok. . .

Harry Chapin is one of my greatest influences as a musician, songwriter, and humanitarian. He could really tell a story, and was very intimate with his audience. What a lot of people don't realize is that he would donate just about every other concert to charity. He was the founder of World Hunger Year, which a couple years after his untimely death, was the springboard for USA for Africa - you remember. . . .music please. . . "We are the World . . . We ARE the children" (sung as Bruce Springsteen with Ray Charles waiting in the wings. . .LOL) I believe what he stood for was noble and altruistic.

But even when I was in high school and we would make believe we were each of the singers in the U.S.A for Africa music video, I would think to myself "Why are we feeding Africa, when we have hungry and homeless of our own?"

Now , at the 25th anniversary of the legendary release of We Are the World, we are still sending money and food overseas, and there are still hungry Americans. . . .There are still farmers being paid not to grow crops. . . .ponderous.

Instead of food and money, lets send some fishing rods and some seeds.

Midlife Crisis? Nah. . .Just a Crossroad.

2010-01-13T08:59:00.001-05:00

We love to give excuses for ourselves and our loved ones, when our behavior or demeanor may be a bit "off." We blame, puberty, "that time of the month," lack of sleep, a "bug" that is going around, the baby is "teething," menopause, growing pains, a midlife crisis. . . Blah blah blah. Why do we need to justify our behaviors, or make excuses for the behaviors of our loved ones? Some of the beauty and intrigue of life is the fact that although we all travel similar paths, we see different things along the way, and respond to life's stimuli uniquely. You might have noticed, I did not use "depression" as an excuse. Clinical depression is a serious infliction that needs to be addressed properly. I had several students who suffered from depression, whose lives were dramatically different once they received the proper help (which was unique for each individual - no "magic pills" please).

Anyway, back to my point.

Working with and/or mentoring students and adults during my professional time in education and even now in. . . .whatever it is I do. . . LOL (an inside joke between my wife and me - Lets call it producing wholesome family entertainment), I have been able to see a pattern of crossroads that we all hit through our journeys. Some might call these "Comings of Age" while others might call them CRISIS.

I don't like to label them as anything other than crossroads we approach every five years.

Real briefly, at:

Birth - Holy CRAP. Who turned on the lights? What happened to my water bed. You want be to get my nourishment through my mouth, and take it from where (well that's not necessarily bad, for those being breast fed - I, unfortunately, wasn't)? The bellybutton thing was working just fine. You expect me to crawl, walk, talk, feed myself, and wipe my own butt? . . . .a lot of pressure for a former sperm and egg to handle.
Five years old, we start school fulltime and have to adjust to not being with mommy all day, or actually having a schedule - it is like having to go to work. We are now responsible for our actions over an insane amount of time. Being asked to stay focused on the teachers' agenda from 8AM until 2:30. How many of us stay focused like that as "adults?". . . .not too much pressure there.
Around 10-12 we enter the "hair a day crowd." Each day a new hair is popping up on our bodies and we have no idea what we are going to do about it. Stay focused on your studies, behave yourself, while your hormones are raging, the opposite sex is not longer "yucky" and your peers are beginning to establish the "pecking order." . . . . not too much pressure there.
Around 16-18 we start thinking about college and our future, and begin developing our voice in society. We start acting out to prove we are ready for impending adulthood, and we are pressured with the notion that we can actually make a valid decision on what we want to do with the rest of our lives. . . . .Pressure?. . . I think so.
Around 21-23 we graduate college and are expected to get a "real job" in a career we selected in the previous phase that we probably have lost interest in already. We are also supposed to move out, begin looking for a mate, and survive on our own. . . .not too much pressure there. Some of us go to grad school to prolong the inevitable entree into the "real world."
24-30 We have to find a mate and procreate. . .Nuff said!
31-36 We are either establishing ourselves in our professional positions, or we are realizing that we were far too uniformed and immature to decide what we wanted to do when we were 16-18 years old. A lot of us are realizing we are miserable in our professional lives, but are becoming too settled in because of the responsibilities of being a parent and/or a spouse. More times than not we settle and begin our automatic pilot.
37-42 We are getting tired of doing the same things day in and day out and probably look in the mirror and say "this is not how I pictured myself at 40" Are bodies are not as resilient as they once were, and the abuse we put it through during our teens, 20's, and early 30's is starting to wear on us. We are scared that the rest of our lives are going to be this mundane day-in-day-out and we don't know how to deal with it.
43-49 - Whoah. . . if I have't made my money by now, I am in trouble. Here comes college tuition. . . .and look what's around the corner from there - weddings! When did I start getting old??? I am going to retire from THIS job? I can't make changes now. Too many dependents, too many responsibilities, are those love handles? Who really loves love handles?. . . .what happened to my hair?. . . why is it starting to grow out of my ears and the top of my nose?. . . .We have now entered into the new HAIR A DAY CROWD. . .=) Puberty 2 - the sagging sequel? Gravity Strikes Back.

I'll stop there, because I think I have illustrated a pattern. It seems, from my submission above, that we are in crisis every 5 years. Every 5 years we hit a crossroads. Some have shared with me that they "go into a funk" at various times, or they feel a little disconnected. The pessimist will view these times as times of confusion or crisis. The optimist or adventurer will view them as opportunities to take a new path. It is far scarier to take the new path, and risk the comfort of the "known." However, it is through risking or daring to take that new path that we make our lives richer, more fulfilling, and therefore enrich the lives of those around us.

Robert Frost has become a cliche regarding the way we approach these "crossroads", however, his simple words ring true. It is the times that we have taken the road less traveled that we have experienced the greatest growth in our lives, and we find ourselves being the most proud of ourselves.

It is best to have a partner at these times. I am fortunate enough to have a supportive wife who realizes that every 5 years, we are going to approach the crossroads. (after 19 years together, she has stood with me at several - I'd like to think I've done the same - just probably not as well). If you don't have someone in your life to provide you with the patience and compassion my wife gives me, well maybe that is the theme of this leg of your journey. It need not be a spouse, it can be a friend who "gets you." It is a journey you must take on your own, but is wonderful to share along the way.

No matter what age or stage you are in you are NOT IN CRISIS. You are at an exciting point in your life. A time where you can make great changes. A time where you can embrace the rest of your life as a series of avenues, knowing that in another 5 years, you'll be at a new crossroad, armed with more life experience to help you forge forward.

People buy fast cars, begin dating younger men/women, and/or begin changing their appearances (amongst other things) because they think they "need" these external changes or additions to make them feel better. Those things just add ice to the road ahead. When we can see that those things are distractions from the scary task of continuing our journeys, it is then we will travel through the crossroads and grow.

Enjoy the journey.

BONUS MATERIAL:

Here is a copy of Robert Frost's Poem:

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Monads. . . Yes, it starts with an M

2010-01-12T08:32:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I asked that you joined me in a short exercise, of going through your Facebook friends list and trying to recall something positive or a memory about each person - how he/she impacted your life, and/or what kind of roll they might have played (supporting actor, walk-on, grip) in the credit roll of the epic no-so-minisiries that is your life As a result, I de-friended 4 people (sounds cold, but they were people who became friends because we were in a Facebook group together, or their last name was Rossilli and they lived in Italy, and I had never, nor will probably ever meet them. I am sure, if they knew I de-friended them, they would not be too affected by it. . . .(well who knows, with what I'm about to discuss)

Anyway, I hope you took the time to do it, and it gave you a chance to reflect on the relationships in your life, past and present. When I do something like that, it makes me think about how I could have been and can still be a better person. How I could have been nicer and more compassionate in the past and will continue to work on being nicer and more compassionate each and every day.

That brings me to today's topic. MONADS. Yes, it does not start wit a G, so get your minds out of gutter, or your hands out of your pants, gentlemen. =)

I started my day, this morning, calling my parents to see if anyone had died yesterday. Pretty morbid, I know, but I will explain. . .

During my adulthood, on my birthday, twice, I have experienced the loss of a loved one. My Uncle Steve, who convinced me to stay in school instead of packing up my guitar and moving to Nashville to chase the "Neon Rainbow", and my Uncle Sal, who was one of the several uncles I had who was a teacher (and the one who did not try to talk me out of becoming one myself). Additionally, my brother and sister-in-law lost their aunt a couple years ago, which made me sad for them. She was a young woman.

After losing my uncles, I reflected on the words of Thomas Edison, which I often do. He believed that when you passed on, your life's essence exploded into millions of "monads" (atoms, simple pieces of energy) that would enter into those whose lives you had touched during your time on Earth, and those who will be impacted by the legacy that you leave behind. I never met Thomas Edison, Mister Rogers, Walt Disney, Harry Chapin, or Jim Henson, but I find myself referencing their lives and legacy as I follow my own dreams and build my own legacy. The impact they have had on me, are simply the monad their lives left behind and entered into my soul, having a positive impact on my life.

I am not upset that I had loss on my birthday, I looked at it as an opportunity for me to each year think about my uncles and the impact they had on our family, their children, their grand children, and directly on me. Also, how the domino effect of their goodness, the monads they left behind, will continue to have on the community of people their legacy will impact. It is not unlike the Holiday Classic, It's A Wonderful Life. That movie demonstrates that we are all important, we all have impact, we all are integral parts in the Epic Not-So-Miniseries that is the history of the world. Sometimes you are a principal actor, and sometimes you are a walk-on.

Constantin Stanislavski, (you know, the acting teaching legend) has been credited with saying, "There are no small parts, just small actors." Some people laugh at that one, but I think if you reflect on the "Wonderful Life" theme, you never know when someone might be looking at you in your "bit part." If you are not playing it authentically, then you are lessening the entire production.

Today, think to yourself: "When I pass, where will my monads go? Who will I have impacted during my time on Earth? What legacy will I leave behind to inspire those who follow generations after I am gone?" Living a mindful life will not only make your current life more rich, but it will leave the world a better place than when you first entered it.

By the way, yesterday, animator Art Clokey, the creator of Gumby and Davey and Goliath, passed away. He was 88. I never met him, but his work made me smile. . . thanks for the monad.

A Birthday - Mine and Yours

2010-01-11T08:24:00.000-05:00

I have an interesting thing for you to do when you visit your Facebook today. In addition to being fun, it might be helpful in refocusing some of your lives. I know it was for me.

Today is my Birthday. At 42 years old, Jack La Lanne would say that I am a little over one quarter of the way through my life. He shared with me once that he felt (and had some interesting logic behind it) that the human body should last for 150-160 years, we just abuse it too much to allow it to last that long. That being said, today I took some time to reflect on that thought.

Each day I try to take some time to reflect on where I am and where I am going. I meditate each morning when I wake up and before I go to bed. However, there are several times in the year that causes you to really sit and reflect. Most people use New Years and their Birthday. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, those two days for me are only 11 days apart. So I spend the first week of January each year really organizing my thoughts and spending time planning the next leg of my journey.

Today I came into the office, opened my MacBook, and found a pile of email waiting for me in my non-business account. It was filled with birthday emails from people posting on my Facebook Wall. Additionally, I have received personal emails and texts.

Hallmark must be cursing FaceBook, email, and the personal computer in general =)

These wishes came from such a unique collection of people from my life. In addition to the immediate family and few close friends and neighbors I have, there are people my family used to vacation with that I haven't seen for nearly 30 years; people from high school who I haven't seen for 20 years (and might not have called me a friend back then), there are people I have met through my children (other parents, coaches, players parents, etc.) friends I have made through my wife and other family members, there are "fans" from my professional pages, business associates, cousins I see at weddings and funerals, . . . . quite a potpourri of characters.

Seeing that virtual spectrum of people made me think about something that does cross my mind from time to time. When you watch a movie, it is easy to recognize the stars who get the top billing. When you watch a football game, most people (even casual watchers) can name the quarterback and the other "playmakers." We fail to recognize the supporting players, the extras, the walk-ons in the movie of our lives.. . .or in football, the assistant trainers, the special teams players, the guy who fixes the helmets - and even sometimes the offensive linemen (those whose support is integral to the success of the "playmakers").

What I'd like you to do today is go through your FaceBook Friends list. As you go through the list, see if you can remember one nice thing about each person on your list - a nice memory, a fine personality trait, a fun experience you shared - and see how that impacted your life. We study history to learn from the experiences of those who came before us, to make our own journeys easier and our own successes more attainable. We rarely, if ever, study our own history. Take a couple minutes today, instead of going to Farmville, playing Mafia Wars, or playing Bejeweled Blitz, and reflect on the characters in your life - past and present. It might trigger a dream you once had, goals you had forgotten, or ideals you once held close to your hear that life kind of "got in the way of." It might help bring a rebirth to what some call your "authentic self." I did it, and it really left me feeling quite insightful and at peace today.

Today might be YOUR birthday too. Or at least the re-Birthday of some goals dreams and ideals that you had "Once upon a time."

My Bride - My comedy partner.

2010-01-09T07:41:00.000-05:00

Everybody loves to laugh, but sometimes material can get stale. Nowhere is this more evident, than in a marriage.

A comedian is not unlike a traveling minstrel of the past. He/she develops an act and brings it from town to town - club to club - and entertains the area people with his/her set of jokes, observations, bits, etc. With the advent of radio, comedians who had earned reputations and/or a following were able to get in front of larger audiences with their material, and would get their own radio programs, or appear on variety shows that replaced the vaudevillian experiences they were having on the road. This became even more of a phenomenon through television - George and Gracie Burns, Danny Thomas, Red Skelton through modern Bill Cosby, Roseanne Barr/Arnold, Jerry Seinfeld, Ray Romano. . .etc. These comedians had to become situationally funny - thus the advent of the situational comedy (sit-com).

I remember watching the standup of Roseanne back in the 80's the first couple times we heard about her "uterus being a divining rod" was funny. However, she would do the same bit on Johnny Carson, Arsenio Hall, David Letterman, etc. Same material supposedly different sets of audiences. Then she got her own special and used the same material again. We could probably say the same thing about Seinfeld and his emote control bit or Cosby and his going to the dentist bit.

I have always been one who loves a good joke, and revels in being able to make people laugh. Far from ever having the ability of a standup comic, I am usually one who makes people laugh situationally. One of the funnier relationships I have is that with my wife. She is probably one of the funnier people I know; however, unlike me, her humor and delivery are much more subtle than mine. I am quite overt and high energy, while she is drier and more funny behind the scenes.

After 19 years of being with my wife, she unfortunately has heard all of my bits. Once in a while I will come up with something new, but very quickly, after a couple social events, that new material becomes more stale than Roseanne's uterus. I try to tell her, it is old material to you, but new to the current set of listeners. Eye roll. . . head shake. . . and right there she will say something clever. Now that I think of it, maybe I am not the funny one, but I am my wife's straight man. My stale jokes (I will continue to submit. . . to her) are still not as funny as the banter between us that will follow the laughter of my new victims. . . I mean. . . audience. . . =)

So as long as I can find new audiences I don't need new material. Additionally, I don't know that she realizes that she is an INTEGRAL part of my "comedy show."

I wonder if Lucy and Ricky or George and Gracie Burns went through this too.

Puberty - My Little Bighorn

2010-01-07T08:45:00.000-05:00

I recently saw the movie Night at the Museum 2 with my family. It was a funny movie and it gave me the opportunity to dust off Daddy the teacher, and explain some history to my girls, which they seem to like. As a matter of fact they seem to encourage it through their inquiry. As I was watching it, one of the characters that I explained to them provided me with a clear understanding of a phenomenon that is about to change my life. That historical figure was General George Armstrong Custer.

General Custer is best known for his death at Little Bighorn. It has been recreated in cartoons, on screen, and in illustrations again and again as a clueless general who allowed himself to get surrounded by several groups of Native American Indians. He and a third of his 700 man regiment were killed, and 60 more injured. What is lost in the retelling of Custer's history is that he was a fairly successful Civil War Vet, who was there at the final battles when the North conquered the South. He had a lot of wins under his belt, but he will be remembered as a loser. This fate is not unlike Billy Buckner during the 86 World Series. Buckner was an excellent baseball player, but he will be remembered as the guy who blew the World Series for the Red Sox by letting the ball go through his legs.

Once upon a time, I had a wife, two daughters, some cats, and a bunny, and lived in a modest home in suburban Essex County, NJ. I walked into the house and my daughters would run to the door and greet me like a returning conquering general. My wife would look on shaking her head (having been with me for over 19 years) in disgust over the adulation I would receive. She would tease "Daddy can do no wrong," and for the past 10 years, she was right. I had daughters because I always thought "daughters will love you longer." How naive of me to not see what was about to happen next.

Well a new conflict broke out over the past couple weeks, and General Daddy has been called out to battle. Instead of the insurgence being potty-training, boo boo fixing, monsters under the bed, or learning to ride a two-wheeler - all items that my wife and I fought through together, shoulder to shoulder (But I got most of the credit), the new foe is more powerful than any that I could ever imagine. . . . . one that I was intimate with once upon a time. One that made me into a man. . . . that once wonderous friend turned foe, who has also enlisted the services of my one time foxhole mate, my wife, is none other than. . . . .PUBERTY!

Puberty. . . .I walked into the house yesterday, and my wife and 10 year old (with the 7 year old listening in) were discussing the joys of womanhood. Periods, body hair, leg and armpit shaving, boobies. . . .BOOBIES!!! Instead of the conquering general walking in, this day I became a man. . . .no, not like a young Jewish boy going through his Bar Mitzvah, not like an Indian Warrior bringing back his first buffalo. . . .I became a member of the other team. I became "a man."

Unlike General Custer, I can see my Little Bighorn; however, just like the legendary General, I too fear that I will be losing a third of my regimen, and will soon be surrounded by an overwhelming force - a tribe known as Estrogen. Unfortunately, unlike Custer, who was seemingly put out of his misery, I will be taken as a prisoner of war, and tortured mercilessly for the remainder of my days.

Still. . . . I wouldn't trade my captors for the world.

Resolutions, Goals, and Excuses

2010-01-06T09:00:00.000-05:00

Resolutions are funny and predictable. We all make them, then we all break them. We all make these resolutions with seemingly good intensions. What motivates us to make such grand claims and changes? For those of us who are goal oriented, this activity could be a jumpstart towards a career goal or a lifestyle change. For others, it is a way to draw attention to themselves. Either way, or whatever your motivation, we usually "fall off the wagon" and our resolution fades into the abyss of New Years past. We then make excuses for our "failures."

We need to resolve not to resolve in 2010. Instead, we need to live each day with small attainable goals. Like most 12-step programs (fortunately I have not been in one. . . yet =) ) if you live one day at a time trying to be the best you you can be, eventually, you will get on a roll and gradually make a huge impact on your life and those around you. I drive by the Polanar fruit factory (the "jelly" makers) several times a week. Outside they have a sign that counts the days in a row without an accident. They had a safety record of 400 days in a row. I drove by one day and it was back to 2. The same type of attitude should be taken regarding our own goals. One day at a time, building up a string of days of progress. If we fall off, it is not an excuse to quit, it is an opportunity to start again. Keep a record, a journal of what you are doing, what progress you are making.

I appreciate what Polanar is trying to do through its posting. I like the idea of trying to break a record for efficiency and keeping track of daily progress. However, think about the psychological hit one takes when they go from 400 days in a row back to 1. I would love to see an addition made to the sign that provides an overall running total. 400 days in a row, one bad day, another 300, one bad day. . . .Do the math on that. 700 good days and 2 bad. That is a 99.7% of the time efficiency. However, the jelly workers are now sitting on day 2 and feeling bad about themselves. It is OK to have a bad day once in a while. You want to build up your efficiency and longterm peformance.

Here is an idea. Keep track of each and every day you behave in the "newly resolved" manner. At the end of each week, each month, etc. give yourself a mark. If you were "good" 5 out of 7 days one week - that is a 71%. Well doesn't 71% beat 0%? We use our lack of accountability as an excuse to quit on our goals. If you take a step forward each day, by the end of the week you will be 7 steps down the road. When you make excuses, you are wasting valuable time dwelling on a perceived failure, instead of taking another step forward.

I resolved, once I started this Blog-thing yesterday, that I would continue to followup with it at least 5 times a week. I wanted to write more - although it is what I do for a living (if you can call it a living. . .LOL) What will I talk about each day? Who knows, but it will have something to do with being a dad, a producer, an educator, or sometimes "just being a guy" (whatever that means) As a former English teacher, this will not always be grammatically correct, because it will be a stream of consciousness. If I edit my work, I will never keep my resolution to write every day. So there it is. . .AN EXCUSE. Justification of why I will not do something. I would use my obsession with writing perfectly as a reason to not continue this exercise. I am also using my desire to write in a relaxed manner as an EXCUSE why my blogs will be filled with web-esque type of verbiage. . . .like the dot dot dot. . . or the LOL. . . smiley faces =), or any other type of writing that the old grammar text I used to tell my students to leave in their lockers would not support. WHO REALLY CARES. I am doing this for ME anyway. If people read this and get something from it, well that would be really COOL.

Resolve to make changes for yourself, and allow yourself to fail once in a while.

Excuses are copouts for those who really weren't ready for change.

So here I am 2 days in a row. That is 2 more posts than I had on Monday =)

Wasting Time Studying Instead of Doing

2010-01-05T13:43:00.000-05:00

I want to thank the members of the education community for inspiring me to FINALLY put together a blog. An honorable mention will go to my fellow parents, but I will save that for future entries. Today I want to discuss the STUDY of STUDYING. That's what I call people spending time and monetary resources studying the way schools are run, reporting on what they have observed, then going back to their universities or private offices and do some more studying.

It has been said that those who can. . . do, and those who can't. . . .teach. As a teacher, I always took exception to that phrase. I am not saying there isn't some truth to it; however, teaching in its own right is an art. . . a skill. . .a talent that requires a special person to connect with other people to inspire them to be better. There are, however, those burned-out teachers who are just riding on auto pilot and collecting a check. (I am sure I will blog about them soon too)

I would like to add my own part to that old phrase. Those who can. . . do, and those who can't. . . .teach, and those who can't teach. . . study it.

I am continued to be amazed by the money being spent. . . wasted. . . on studies that continue to report the obvious without any real solution. I read yesterday, for probably the 50th time, that there is a problem with the academic progress of our inner-city students. Our "minority population" is performing poorer than our non-minority popluation (Do we call them the majority?) How about, for once, someone decides to not just report on results of a study, or the results of standardized tests, and/or pontificate "what we should do" and actually roll up his/her sleeves and get back into the classroom, or the principal's office, or the superintendent's office, and make it happen.

That would require work. Real work. It would also require the risk of not being successful. It is easy and safe to observe and report.

I was prompted to begin this blog because once again I read about a person who wanted to study education for another 20 years. It was from an article in the New Jersey Paper, the Star-Ledger. A seven year study that resulted in the recommendation for another 20 year study. SO, come 2030 we will start implementing the results of this study - or start another one.

By then, I might have a grandchild entering preschool . . .comforting.

http://blog.nj.com/njv_bob_braun/2010/01/princeton_university_researche.html